Sorry to start this with a dull tone, but me and my travel companion are both going with the hope of taking away pain. Both our stories are different i am still not over a relationship that broke down 5 years ago and the constant reminders and bumping into one another is too much and i am deciding to go. My travel bud's is a little more recent (this year). My question is does travelling work or are you just sweeping it under the carpet until you come home?
I'm no expert by experience, but I'd say that you're not exactly one's best choice of travelmates at the moment. Travelling does help, if only because it takes your mind off things, but two depressed, unhappy people travelling together merely increases your chances to mutually assume the role of the other's shrink...
For some people, travelling right after a breakup can mean a combination of running away from dealing with the situation, while not fully appreciating the whole travel experience. From personal experience, I waited almost a year to take a big trip, because I wanted to clear my head first. But five years is a long time, and everyone is different. Maybe you guys could plan a trip where you can split off for a few days once in a while? That way you can talk things out together, and then take the time to enjoy your own company. It's a big gift to give yourself.
I think it can help. I had a pretty rough few years back in 1999 - 2001. My mom died, I was in a job I hated, a relationship with a girl fell apart in a disasterous way, I was drinking too much, I got a new job, but then got burnt out, I got sick, etc. etc. etc.
One of the problems I kept having being at home was that I kept being reminded of all those bad things. Everything was pretty familiar and had a "history." It was kind of like being surrounded by ghosts. By travelling to some place completely and totally new, you have no geographic reminders of the bad things that happened to you. It is, in a sense, just running away from it all. But it also provides you an opportunity to live your life free of the past for a short time. I found that to be an incredible healing opportunity.
I would agree with what the others have said about travelling with your friend, though. That could just end up being an opportunity to sit around and be unhappy together. Your friend could end up being one of those ghosts I alluded to earlier - a thing that just ends up reminding you of what you've lost back at home. You should be careful to avoid that.
[ Edit: Edited at Oct 11, 2006 8:12 AM by GregW ]
I'm a yes on this one, its great therapy, esp if youre with mates.
Its a bit of a strain when you finally get back to reality though
I think that it kind of delays the pain but the pain is less if you get what I mean
i'm in the same boat but i decided that i am going to take a big trip anyway. i just got burnt from a relationship and bitterly left a job i hated--so i sorely lack inspiration or motivation to do anything else. i am ready to be reminded that the world is HUGE and that so many beautiful things exist out there to see and experience. so, yes i think it can and will work if you WANT it to work. make this your opportunity to have an amazing trip by doing anything you can while you are away--and random moments are always so memorable! but just like everyone else has said, be careful not to get sucked into a potentially depressing situation. if you are going to take this trip with someone who is also feeling less than inspired these days, make sure you make a pact that you will go out every night, meet people, go to different restaurants, or whatever you like to do and MAKE it fantastic. random and light is the key. good luck and have a great trip!
Hey, thanks for your replies. I think a lot for me is being home and reminded of things by being away i won't have that. With regards to my travel bud, it is a cousin and we have made a pact to make this a trip of a lifetime we are both ready to go now. We are not travelling the whole way together, we are just starting out that way. But thanks for the warning, when i feel we are making eachother miserable i will suggest going out for a drink....and maybe a ping pong show!
When my late wife passed away 8 years ago, I felt the need for change, both geographic and career. I realized that from that point on, my life would be significantly different, and likely not as positive in all the ways I had enjoyed for so many years. My hope was to at least partially compensate for the loss of the person closest to me by moving to a resort island which I intended to enjoy in a state of semi-retirement. Of course, the reality of the transition was different than the plan. The island proved to be a location I enjoyed far less than anticipated. The semi-retirement was, ironically, a profitable, but boring concept. After 3 years, I realized that coming to grips with a personal loss was simply something I would have to deal with directly over time no matter my location or what I was doing. I moved to a locale much more conducive to my solitary lifestyle, re-invented my career path, and am the happier for it. Quite simply, while a trip may be fun in a muted way following a significant personal loss, you may find that you are merely postponing the inevitable need to deal with the underlying issues at some point; the sooner the better. A person truly can run but can not hide from major underlying issues. You health may be better served by traveling at a time more conducive for enjoyment of the trip and the experience.