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would you consider it...?

Travel Forums General Talk would you consider it...?


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31. Posted by marlis (Travel Guru 1167 posts) 9y

It dependes how your relationship to the person is.
for some years I went sailing for 3-4 month in the caribbean,hard or sometimes not possible to call to Germany.(I'm talking from 1986)My Mom was then 85.I never know if she will be alieve when I come home and will see her,she was living in a home for old people.Everytime when I left for a few month I told her about my trips and that I feel guilty to let her alone she was looking at me with her still very bright blue eyes and said GO,dont stay because of me,dont make me feel guilty because then both of us are unhappy.Go and come back to me and tell me about your trips,show me your fotos.Go and live your life,dont miss your chances,I had my life,and if you are happy I'm happy to.So I made for her a map where she could follow my trips and she was always telling the nurses about me and she was very proud of me and my courage.When I left Germany to live on the Island Bonaire/Netherl.Antilles my Mom was 91,she and I know that it could be any day...I was expecting the call,Marlis your Mom died.I got the call that she is in very bad condition.It was not easy to get a flight but I made it,rented a car and drove direct to the place in the Black Forest.The nurses let me in,it was in the middle of the night and I sat next to her bed.She was not talking but holding my hand the whole night and I told her everything what I had never told her before,thanked her for everything she had done for me.After 3 weeks I had to go back to Bonaire,knowing that it was the last time I have seen her.I was not going back to be at her funeral but I was standing at the beach and let some of her favorite flowers drift away.
I did not feel guilty because I was not there at her funeral.I made the right decission for me and for her,I'm 100% sure of it.

32. Posted by tway (Travel Guru 7273 posts) 9y

Marlis - thank you for sharing that with us. It's such a beautiful, touching story. I'm so happy for you that you found your peace.

33. Posted by Purdy (Travel Guru 3546 posts) 9y

Wow this is an interesting thread.

When reading mims question my inital response was no, BUT, then l got to thinking - compromise heading off somewhere which is easily accessible in terms of travel or cutting the time period of travel down to maybe only 2 weeks. This could benefit you and then in turn the person who is ill as you will at least returned refreshed to a degree with a clearer perspective?

But as the majority of TPers have indicated it really is dependent on the variables surrounding that particular situation.

34. Posted by oslaue (Full Member 571 posts) 9y

now that i think of it...

at the time my dad was offered to become director of a government agency way back a few years ago before he involved been head of a agengy in canada and germany living and working in both countrys...he refused because his mother whos german living in ireland at the time was very sick (this is were we live)...and she was sick for many many many years. her condition never got better...she was 80 something at the time, she passed away last year at 91.

he was offered huge money, he loved vancouver cos he has been been there before, he also wanted to return home to germany for a few years...but all this would have been difficult on his mother...

anyway he didnt accept it and continued to stick with his old job...

even today he would have still liked the idea...but no way does he regret...sometimes in life even the stuff we would just love to do we cant...

we cant have and do everything we want in life....

if it was me...i wouldnt have travelled...ill take my chances...appose to live with regret for the rest of my days...and i think thats what my father just isnt everything either.

but everyone thinks different, peoples circumstances are different. theres people out there in this form who would take the money and dissapear..and leave a loved one at home in a nursing home...

like i say..everyone is different...i know some people that dont care about there parents!

but also his mother depended on him because she got very rarely any other visitors and could not really look after naturally seeing her son every day made her a very happy lady...probably just about the only thing that she looked forward to everyday.

[ Edit: Edited on Jan 24, 2007, at 9:23 AM by oslaue ]

35. Posted by pendermark (Budding Member 2 posts) 9y

Mim sounds like you have done a lot of travelling and im sure you will do alot more.I dont no how close this person is to you but you have to consider that you may not see them again as i'm sure you have. I live on a small Island and even going to the city is travelling,sometime ago now my dads partner was ill i didnt want to go anywhere but needed to make a trip into the city she passed away while i was gone, only a couple of days, i had spent some time with her and feel now that we had said what needed to be said, my dad was the one who needed me to be there. Last year my Dad passed away i had just returned from 5 weeks in the Uk, although he wasnt ill he wasnt exactly healthy either, i am glad that i made that trip and brought back pics of family and just stories to tell and i was able to share this with him. It's a dificult decision for you to make im sure but i guess what im saying is be sure you have said the things you need to say to this person if thats possible and if there is someone who may need you consider that .My Dad was very happy that i travelled and saw the world i no if i were to ask him he would say go....