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Mixed race relationship, American with Thai girlfriend

Travel Forums General Talk Mixed race relationship, American with Thai girlfriend

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1. Posted by zachary (Respected Member 471 posts) 9y

Anyone have experiences like this? I really really like this girl, she is pretty, and sweet, and nice, and smart etc etc etc.

If you've been in similar situation would you please post your experiences. Did it last? The differences in lifestlyes clash? good or bad? foods? religions? etc etc

Thanks a lot :)

2. Posted by Mel. (Travel Guru 4567 posts) 9y

Hello Zachary

I am Irish. I had a Nigerian boyfriend, when I was 22.
It did not last.

He and his friends had strange ideas, about relationships and marriage.
He used to shout at me, for just about everything. He even thought cleaning the house and other services were my duty and kept ordering me to do them. He wanted me to marry him, so he could get a permit, to stay in Germany. Not very romantic.
I left him, because I really did not feel safe. I felt the shouting could turn into violence. What was worrying, is that many of his friends did not see anything abnormal about living like this. They seemed to think they had to control their wives, and if violence is what it took....

Food and religion were never a problem. I dont even know what religion he was and he never asked about mine. Looks like religion was not important to either of us.
Food was not a problem, either. I am a vegetarian and he was not. We just ate what we wanted

I would not care what race my partner is, but I would certainly choose one who grew up, in a modern Western country. Or one that is educated, intelligent and free thinking enough, to not just do things that are considered normal in their countries, but abusive in more developed countries.

Mel

[ Edit: Edited on Feb 1, 2007, at 1:49 AM by Mel. ]

3. Posted by Mr Gecko (Inactive 34 posts) 9y

zachary - i am irish, i dated an idian girl for 1 year on and off...her family lived in malaysia. i met her in london.

it didnt last, it can get very complicated. she was a hindu. but her family didnt know me at all, but would be totally against her been with a westerner like myself. she told me this. strict in that sense that they want her to date her own kind.

i think its nice date someone of different nationality and culture but if one is planning a long term future, depending in which country you live in then it may not be accepted, more to culture and race than anything else, actually nationality would have nothing to do with it.

to be honest me and the indian girl had no problems together, but i feel more comfortable with my own kind...maybe i should say i am more attracted to my own kind. my indian x did everything that i did, ate like a cow, didnt dress as an indian and all that...there were no cultural differences between us. having said that she was very innocent, glued to me all the time. didnt let me out of site and most of the time looked after me very well much better than a western woman. maybe asian values is to keep the man happy. i dont know. but i prefer dating western women and been treated like shit! ;)

i have a friend in thailand dating a girl for the past few months who lives in kulala lumpur, hes bringing her home to his country ireland...peoples first impressions is that hes just mad!!! as in...they all say can he not get a girlfriend in his own country.

when i used to live in ireland sometimes i would see irish guys (ugly guys may i add dating beautiful thai girls) but we all know why they are in the country and were they got them from.

think we all know, live in your own country and date a average looking girl, go to thailand and bring her back and date a beautiful looking girl who will look after you very well....

but to answer your question...with me and my indian x we had no lifestyles clashes, foods, religions, etc...

she was very small at 5 foot...which was of putting for me even though i am only 5 foot 8...maybe if she was even more prettier i would have still kept her.

my advice would be...make sure that she is damn pretty to bring home to show your new toy to all your friends.

i personally think that if someone does the above in what i say...its a sign of desperation as there is no love...its all down to physical attraction and having a girl on demand. of course there is some love with genuine couples but with the majority there is not.

But at the end of the day…you know what you feel...and you know what you want…does what makes you happy….im just saying if there is culture differences and you’re a family man like myself…then you can forget about it. As it will just be you and her and no real family interaction.

[ Edit: Edited on Feb 1, 2007, at 3:12 AM by Mr Gecko ]

4. Posted by bentivogli (Travel Guru 2398 posts) 9y

With Thai girls, you have to know in advance what you're getting yourself into, and precisely in how traditional a fashion she has been raised. If not for yourself, then for her sake; here's my reason for telling you this.

A friend of mine got involved with a Thai girl, and it all seemed nice enough at first. He is your typical European guy, having a typically European mindset about relationships; you give it a try, and if it doesn't work out, no big deal. In their case, it didn't.

But by breaking up, he inadvertently has completely destroyed his former girlfriend's life. She has become a social outcast among her friends and family because, even though they didn't sleep with each other, she is considered not to be 'pure' anymore. If they had, she had most probably committed suicide, she's telling him now.

So, try and have a conversation about these issues with her before pushing through with it. If a potential breakup wouldn't cause her this kind of trouble, you may want to give it a try, and then encounter all difficulties mentioned in Mel's and Gecko's posts...

5. Posted by Utrecht (Moderator 5595 posts) 9y

Go for it...I liked mine with a german and belgian girl..;)

6. Posted by batfink (Budding Member 14 posts) 9y

I have to admit, I am surprised by the responses posted so far to this question, especially given that this is a travel forum where generally people are more open-minded to other countries, people, cultures etc...

Whilst I accept that some of the differences between people from different countries might make a relationship more complicated but there are hundreds of factors that can! I think if you start a relationship in the mindset of 'my kind' and 'your kind', you are almost creating a problem that may not have been there.

[ Edit: Edited on Feb 1, 2007, at 5:25 AM by batfink ]

7. Posted by Mel. (Travel Guru 4567 posts) 9y

Utrecht

Can a relationship between a Dutch and a belgian or German girl be considered mixed race?

If that is the case, then I am currently in a mixed race relationship. I am Irish and my boyfriend is Dutch. Our relationship is great. Being from different countries adds some spice. We are completely different types of people, but I love the way we are together.

Mel

[ Edit: Edited on Feb 1, 2007, at 5:33 AM by Mel. ]

8. Posted by Mel. (Travel Guru 4567 posts) 9y

Hello Batfink

I am being open minded. That is why I got in the relationship, in the first place. But maybe not openminded enough to try again. I do have feelings, and once bitten twice shy...
There are many cultures, where women do not have the rights, by law, that we have achieved in developed countries. The men in those countries really believe that we are inferior to them. This attitude does not create a satisfying relationship. I cannot love somebody who thinks I am inferior.
Also, there are a few men I have spoken with, from Europe and the US
who do not want to be with women, who believe themselves to be inferior. I think Mr Gecho expressed his feelings, on this problem he had with his ex.

Mel

[ Edit: Edited on Feb 1, 2007, at 5:47 AM by Mel. ]

9. Posted by batfink (Budding Member 14 posts) 9y

"The men in those countries really believe that we are inferior to them."

I believe this can be said about men in Western countries too. I just think that you shouldn't generalise entire countries by the few people you may have met. This works both ways, as you wouldn't automatically assume that a relationship with someone from your own country WOULD work, therefore why assume that a relationship with someone from another country WOULDN'T work?

[ Edit: Edited on Feb 1, 2007, at 6:39 AM by batfink ]

10. Posted by bentivogli (Travel Guru 2398 posts) 9y

As I tried to point out, Batfink, but apparently not clearly enough, this isn't just about the two people involved. My friend's then-girlfriend wasn't the problem; she could deal with him not loving her anymore. Her traditional social network was, however, and all I'm saying is that one should take these things into consideration. Talking about everyone having to be open-minded and acceptive is a bit too easy in my opinion, the world is just not like that.