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Mixed race relationship, American with Thai girlfriend

Travel Forums General Talk Mixed race relationship, American with Thai girlfriend

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11. Posted by Utrecht (Moderator 5595 posts) 9y

Quoting Mel.

Utrecht

Can a relationship between a Dutch and a belgian or German girl be considered mixed race?

If that is the case, then I am currently in a mixed race relationship. I am Irish and my boyfriend is Dutch. Our relationship is great. Being from different countries adds some spice. We are completely different types of people, but I love the way we are together.

Mel

No, technically speaking not, but a former east german girl with communistic elements is probably the same challenge;)

12. Posted by batfink (Budding Member 14 posts) 9y

I do see what you are saying bentivogli and agree that it is a consideration as there are serious consequences in some cases.

13. Posted by tway (Travel Guru 7273 posts) 9y

"Mixed race" is very relative. In Ireland, Catholic+Protestant is considered a mixed race. In Quebec, English-speaking+French-speaking can be considered a mixed race. It probably comes down to values - what values to you espouse? What about your partner? If you don't see eye to eye, can you compromise?

I agree with whoever said things may not work out, despite the best of intentions. There are tons of examples of mixed-race couples that defy the odds and make it work. I'd bet they worked hard, sacrificed a lot, and went into the relationship with open eyes and left the "if-it's-meant-to-be" attitude at the door. Love alone does not conquer all - you have to have something to fall back on for all those moments when love takes a vacation.

14. Posted by Mel. (Travel Guru 4567 posts) 9y

Hello Batfink

I dont automatically assume it. And i know one can have problems like this, also with Western men. But in Western countries, these are actually considered problems, by most people, and not normal behaviour, like in some places.

Mel

15. Posted by batfink (Budding Member 14 posts) 9y

Hi Mel

Thanks for sharing your experiences, I hope it didn't sound like I was making assumptions about the decisions you may or may not make.

It is a very interesting subject to discuss and I guess for me, it is a very emotive subject, being the product of a successful mixed race marriage.

16. Posted by Mel. (Travel Guru 4567 posts) 9y

Thats true Tway.

I would be comfortable mixing with many types of men.
But if they are heavily religious, they are not of a certain level of intelligence or believe women are inferior, they would not be compatable with me.

Mel

17. Posted by Mel. (Travel Guru 4567 posts) 9y

Hello Batfink

I think i can understand, why that would be an emotive issue for u.
I feel like that, about womens issues. I am sick and tired of how long it takes for us to get our rights. I dont see why we only get them in dribs and drabs. And listening to narrow minded sexist attitudes and sexist jokes just plain pisses me off.

So, where are your parents from?

Mel

18. Posted by batfink (Budding Member 14 posts) 9y

Forums are a difficult places to have discussions sometimes! I agree with you with womens issues, it is an ongoing battle!

My Dad is English but spend alot of time in East Africa growing up as my Grandad was posted there in the army. My Mum is from the Philippines. They have been married for 30 years this year bless 'em!

[ Edit: Edited on Feb 1, 2007, at 8:28 AM by batfink ]

19. Posted by Mr Gecko (Inactive 34 posts) 9y

tway - ireland is a strong word to use to define catholic and protestant. perhaps you should mean NORTHERN ireland,
because what ever happens up north is non existant to what happens down south.
i can hardly compare people who speak different languages is a race difference. after all the same culture will be there as they are from the same country. thats like me comparing to what you said to south africa were 11 languages is the official language. at the end of the day...they are all south african...unless you have a country that is multi cultural with many religions....maybe its all about integration appose to segregation.

race difference is about your colour, religion, culture and were you are from.

even with catholics and protestants we are the same. we still party and drink. but muslims dont, some muslims do but then they are not following the koran. and they are identified as not been proper muslims.

mel - i would have loved to have seen you in the 1600s weere women were treated like objects, its only in the modern
world today were women are respected and that they have rights. hundreds of years ago they were not, its the same
as gays! not long ago gays were regarded as evil and had no rights...now they can marry!!!

most multi culture relationships fail, not because what happens inside the relationship but what happens outside the relationship, you will get a lot of cases were the girl you date will only listen to there parents / family and not to the person they go out with, because there views and beliefs are very different to yours. ot you could go out with this person and risk never having your family wanting to have anything to do with you again! or the respect will be gone.

isnt that why the world is fighting today? because of race? because of religion more than anything else! isnt that why most muslims want us to live on the other side of the world and to keep us there. or all together get rid of us.

multi cultural dating is the same - instead of fighting with a country your fighting against someones family! who so happens to be hmmmm muslim, hindu etc

[ Edit: Edited on Feb 1, 2007, at 8:26 AM by Mr Gecko ]

20. Posted by tway (Travel Guru 7273 posts) 9y

Quoting Mr Gecko

tway - ireland is a strong word to use to define catholic and protestant. perhaps you should mean NORTHERN ireland, because what ever happens up north is non existant to what happens down south.
i can hardly compare people who speak different languages is a race difference.

Right on both counts! I should have specified NI - sorry! And I took race too liberally - American and Thai aren't races, but nationalities. I went with that in mind. I should have just specified "mixed" marriages. I agree with you 100% on the race thing.

My parents were actually refused a church wedding at first because Mom is French and Dad is English - the priest refused to speak a word of English at the ceremony (ironically, Dad was Protestant and Mom Catholic and no one batted an eye). It worked out in the end, but not before a lot of stereotypes had to be put to rest. During the 1995 referrendum here, when Quebec was voting to seperate from the rest of the counrty, the "yes" and the "no" sides were strong enough to split families apart. There were news interviews of husbands and wives who weren't speaking to one another, or their parents, out of a sense of betrayal.

It's not race, certainly, but language is attached to culture - and that can create an insurmountable barrier, too.