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Mixed race relationship, American with Thai girlfriend

Travel Forums General Talk Mixed race relationship, American with Thai girlfriend


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21. Posted by Isadora (Travel Guru 13926 posts) 10y

Quoting tway

My parents were actually refused a church wedding at first because Mom is French and Dad is English - the priest refused to speak a word of English at the ceremony (ironically, Dad was Protestant and Mom Catholic and no one batted an eye). It worked out in the end, but not before a lot of stereotypes had to be put to rest. During the 1995 referrendum here, when Quebec was voting to seperate from the rest of the counrty, the "yes" and the "no" sides were strong enough to split families apart. There were news interviews of husbands and wives who weren't speaking to one another, or their parents, out of a sense of betrayal.

My mother was Catholic and my father was Anglican (Episcopal). My mother was excommunicated in 1950 for marrying outside the faith. They were married in an Episcopal church, but my aunt (mother's sister) refused to be a bridesmaid because my mother was going against the church. My mother understood and it never interfered with their relationship. But (even 57 years later) it shows what little it takes to divide people.

I didn't mean to go off topic and will now bring it back. I know members who are having very successful relationships. It's taking a vast amount of work on both parts, but they feel their relationships are worth it. The family members on both sides (American and Asian) are not making it easy though, and there are obstacles to conquer. Zachery, you are the only one who can decide if this relationship is worth pursuing or not. You also have to look at the larger picture which includes her family dynamic. Obstacles, such as lifestyle and food can be worked through as long as both of you are open-minded and accepting of each other's culture. Religion can be a sticking point - but one option is that both of you accept each other's faith for what it is. If either or both of you are religious - share the experience by going to each other's religious gatherings. Very little is insurmountable if you are accepting of who that person is and are truly willing to work it through.

Isa is now done pontificating and hands the soapbox to the next in line...

22. Posted by Mel. (Travel Guru 4567 posts) 10y

Quoting Mr Gecko

mel - i would have loved to have seen you in the 1600s weere women were treated like objects, its only in the modern
world today were women are respected and that they have rights.

Mr Gecko
Why would u have wanted to have seen me, in the 1600s?
Would u have wanted to see me without rights and not respected.
Or are u trying to tell me, I should consider myself lucky, to have rights these days?
Well, I am not lucky, to be part of a group, that is discriminated against. It is terrible that the discrimination happens, but it is bad enough listening to comments such as the above one.


[ Edit: Edited on Feb 1, 2007, at 12:26 PM by Mel. ]

23. Posted by Isadora (Travel Guru 13926 posts) 10y

Fair enough Mr. Gecko and Mel, but this thread is about Zachery and the obstacles he's going to face if he pursues this relationship. If anyone is going to go "off topic", please bring it back before leaving the thread. Thank you. ;)

24. Posted by koalabear (Full Member 121 posts) 10y

I would tread carefully, just make sure it's what you both want, cause if she has to leave her family and stuff it might be too much pressure for you both. Good luck :)

25. Posted by Mel. (Travel Guru 4567 posts) 10y

Bringing it back.

I suppose, if speaking different languages causes a relationship to be mixed, as some people above suggested, then I am now in a mixed relationship. My boyfriends first language is Dutch and mine is English. Within the relationship this only causes advantages. Things are more varied and interesting because we come from different countries. Creates chemistry. And we also live in a country, which is neither our countries of origen. Other advantages are, that I get to learn German, while practicing every day, and my daughter is already tri lingual.

However, we do have some problems, because of the mix. It is extremely difficult for us to get married in Germany, as foreigners. We will have to get married in Denmark, because it is easier there. Part of the problem we face, is that all our papers needed to get married must be in English, or Danish or German. Mine are. My boyfriends are not.

But, the advantages of my mixed relationship far outweigh any disadvantages.


26. Posted by Mr Gecko (Inactive 34 posts) 10y

im not always right, and i dont like always correcting people tway. but since i am irish then its nice to educate others, but i think you knew what you were talking about, its just that you left out the northern ireland part appose to ireland.

my father is protestant and my mother is catholic, im not 100% sure but i know they got married in ireland, in a catholic church and as far as i know when they got married in the 1940s that was illegal. but when they tell me that now i laugh at it.

i personally think that a lot of our growing up and beliefs has everything to do with our parents. in other words our parents are of huge influence on us.

mel, my point was that muslims have always treated women like objects, though us westerns will disagree with muslims were muslims will disaree with us.

mel i am not trying to discriminate agaist you, i am just saying us westerns do not understand muslim ways, and muslims do not understand our ways, and you dont understand my previous comment about the 1600s which proves my case. what i mean is...we were brought up differently compared to musims and at different times to our parents.

you know i love you!:)

isadora - im not going of the topic, far from it, i personally think, and pardon my langauge but we live in a fucked up kind of world. because what you, me, mel, isdora think differs to what maybe a muslim thinks. visa versa. but hows how we are all brought up with. you and all did not wake up one morning to think like this...we were EDUCATED to think like this:)

[ Edit: Edited on Feb 1, 2007, at 3:28 PM by Mr Gecko ]

27. Posted by zachary (Respected Member 471 posts) 10y

fyi, i dont mean to make sound like i'm totally better or different when i said "mixed race", i couldnt think of a better description

i love different cultures, religions, and races, i LOVE!

that said, i go back to subject, i VERY VERY VERY much like this girl, so many great things about her, and as time goes i like more and more and more, i'm mad because i like her so much, i am willing and wanting to take this further, even tho we are different ppl with different backgrounds i will try best i can to take further

thanks for your input everyone :)

28. Posted by Mel. (Travel Guru 4567 posts) 10y

Quoting Mr Gecko

mel, my point was that muslims have always treated women like objects, though us westerns will disagree with muslims were muslims will disaree with us.

Mr Gecko

I think u know very little about he origins of discrimination.
All discrimination is caused by greed.
Some group make up rules to suit themselves. They decide, for all kinds of reasons, that they are more deserving of the worlds wealth, than another group. They use the difference between them and the other group, to prove that the other group are inferior, and therefore less deserving. All BS of course. One can make up reasons why just about anybody is inferior, if they try hard enough.
I dont know why u are talking about what Muslims always did. Men of all religions did this all over the world. Women here in the Western world have made a lot of progress, with getting some rights. But the prejudice lives on. It is so ingrained in society, that it often goes unnoticed consiously, by many, but it still effects how they see women. We will suffer the aftermath of the discrimination against us, for decades, maybe even centuries.
And what are us saying, us Westerners for? Speak for yourself.

Sorry Isadora, I am not sure how to bring this back to Zacary, but either misinformed unbalanced posts that spread or perpetuate prejudiced ideas about people should be deleted, or people should be allowed to respond, to them, in my opinion.

And I would respond to more of what Mr Gecho said, but one gets tired.

[ Edit: Edited on Feb 2, 2007, at 12:10 AM by Mel. ]

29. Posted by zachary (Respected Member 471 posts) 10y

Quoting koalabear

I would tread carefully, just make sure it's what you both want, cause if she has to leave her family and stuff it might be too much pressure for you both. Good luck :)

Thanks but so far I am willing to make the big change, I am willing to move here to Bangkok, I am excited to meet her family, I expect things to be VERY different from where I am from, I enjoy that, and I am very excited about it. She is great, and I like her more and more each day.

I work online, so I can very easily move around, and Bangkok is great because it is near her family, her job, her college, and also I love this city, has everything I want/need, western food, thai food, japanese food, great computer and internet situations etc, and also many things to do here :)

Thanks for your input :)

30. Posted by Mel. (Travel Guru 4567 posts) 10y


U do that, if u feel that way.
I think, if I was single and met a guy from a different culture, whom I like a lot, I might give it a try.

I did not have a good experience that last time, with the mixed race relationship, but maybe there are guys from far away places who are open minded enough to dismiss some of the restrictive ideas of the places they were brought up.


[ Edit: Edited on Feb 2, 2007, at 12:16 AM by Mel. ]