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Travelling and Human Relationships

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21. Posted by Mel. (Travel Guru 4567 posts) 9y


I have just looked at your profile Pardus.
I thought u were a woman, when I read your first post. OK, now I understand, why u can communicate better with men. Because u are one!!! I though, when I read your post, that u were one of those awful wanna be men, women, who dont like the company of other women.

[ Edit: Edited on Mar 6, 2007, at 7:56 AM by Mel. ]

22. Posted by tway (Travel Guru 7273 posts) 9y

Quoting Mel.

Quoting Purdy

An office full of women - is reciepe for disaster! I much prefer working with men - who you can tell to f*** off and they speak to you the next day!

What a strange thing to say, Purdy.
I would think, that same sex people tend to understand each other better. I think cross gender communication creates more misunderstandings.;)

I have to agree with Purdy - men are a lot easier to talk to. I think it's because women are raised, however subconsciously, to see one another as competition. The whole men-women dynamic is made a little easier - I'm almost ashamed to say, but nonetheless believe it's largely true - through flirtation. I don't mean people flirt to get what they want, I simply mean that cross-gender relationships come with some sort of unspoken dynamic that uses flirtation to break the ice and form a bond - even between coworkers. Mind, I'm speaking as a straight woman - I'd guess it's different if one were gay or bi....

Anyone else care to comment? I'm curious. About the topic, not that last bit.

23. Posted by Q' (Travel Guru 1987 posts) 9y

Quoting tway

I have to agree with Purdy - men are a lot easier to talk to. I think it's because women are raised, however subconsciously, to see one another as competition.

And men don't compete ???

24. Posted by Mel. (Travel Guru 4567 posts) 9y

Quoting tway

Quoting Mel.

Quoting Purdy

An office full of women - is reciepe for disaster! I much prefer working with men - who you can tell to f*** off and they speak to you the next day!

What a strange thing to say, Purdy.
I would think, that same sex people tend to understand each other better. I think cross gender communication creates more misunderstandings.;)

I have to agree with Purdy - men are a lot easier to talk to. I think it's because women are raised, however subconsciously, to see one another as competition. The whole men-women dynamic is made a little easier - I'm almost ashamed to say, but nonetheless believe it's largely true - through flirtation. I don't mean people flirt to get what they want, I simply mean that cross-gender relationships come with some sort of unspoken dynamic that uses flirtation to break the ice and form a bond - even between coworkers. Mind, I'm speaking as a straight woman - I'd guess it's different if one were gay or bi....

Anyone else care to comment? I'm curious. About the topic, not that last bit.

Apparently, a lot of the trouble that women have, making it in the work place, with pay raises and promotions stems from the fact that they have different communication styles to men.
Since most of the people in high positions are still men, women are largely misunderstood. In order climb the ladder, in these male dominated work places, women have the confusion, of having to communicate, like men, in the work place, so they will be understood, in the way that they want to be. This is confusing for women, because the same style of communication which will make them successful, in the work place, will make them unsuccesful, in relationship(I mean romantic relationships, with men).
U are right, about something. Men enjoy when women flirt with them. It makes them feel succesful. It is flattering. But the workplace is not a place for flirting. In order to assess how good your communication style in the workplace is, ask yourself, if u are getting the pay raises and promotions u should be getting, for your level of experience and expertise?

Mel

25. Posted by Purdy (Travel Guru 3546 posts) 9y

Quoting Mel.

Quoting Purdy

An office full of women - is reciepe for disaster! I much prefer working with men - who you can tell to f*** off and they speak to you the next day!

What a strange thing to say, Purdy.
I would think, that same sex people tend to understand each other better. I think cross gender communication creates more misunderstandings.;)

Im not talking about understanding Mel - l just mean working with! I work in a company that is about 80% male and l much prefer it - if l have a problem there is no behind the back gossiping or rumour mongering - with men you can say how you feel - put your cards on the table and say it like it is! The problem is then sorted and you can go for a pint the same evening - with an office full of females the issue stirs and festers and gets worse until problems like the ones Ev is experiencing now!

26. Posted by Purdy (Travel Guru 3546 posts) 9y

Oh and a bit of harmless ego masaging for males always helps me get my own way!

27. Posted by Q' (Travel Guru 1987 posts) 9y

Women fight differently too. If you consider fighting a form of "communication" then it's the same thing.

My job is to determine the "correctness" of something. If I do it right, we make lots of money and make lots of people happy. If not, I go out of business. How do we determine if something is "correct" ?

We take an idea and we mentally try to beat it to death. If it survives the beating then it's "correct". Whether you do it in a group or individually, or whether you be nice about it or have open fist fights, the process is the same. But, if you're the generator of the idea, you had better be ready for it. I've seen a lot of people, both men and women, go all to pieces during this process. I've noticed that women have more problems with this than men. The "catiness" doesn't help. Women traditionally are the nurturers and the supporters. Not the fighters. I honestly feel sorry for, and try always to warn the female engineers that I come across that they will be criticized. You have to separate your personal feelings from work.

Like I've been repeating a lot lately: Design is like getting your face stomped on.....repeatedly.....

[ Edit: Edited on Mar 6, 2007, at 2:31 PM by Q' ]

28. Posted by Mel. (Travel Guru 4567 posts) 9y

Quoting Q'

Quoting tway

I have to agree with Purdy - men are a lot easier to talk to. I think it's because women are raised, however subconsciously, to see one another as competition.

And men don't compete ???

I would say that they do.

And, I also think that silliness in the workplace is not gender specific.
I wonder if the reason Tway and Purdy prefer to work with men, than with women, is that they themselves are overly competitive. I think women are probably competitive about different things, to what men are. If there are fewer women around, then there is less competition, and Tway and Purdy therefore feel less tense. ;)

29. Posted by Mel. (Travel Guru 4567 posts) 9y

Quoting Q'

Women traditionally are the nurturers and the supporters. Not the fighters. I honestly feel sorry for, and try always to warn the female engineers that I come across that they will be criticized. You have to separate your personal feelings from work.

Here is a demonstration, about how women and men communicate differently.
Both the women and the men would not like, to have their work critizised and be told that it is wrong.
Women will handle this stress, in a different way, than men will. Women commonly talk about their feelings, and then start to feel better. Men dont talk about it, and after a while feel better.
And yes Q, people must not show their feelings, in the work place, in the way women do, because those higher up, in the heirarchy(usually men) will see this as them not being able to handle things. Also, engineering is a male dominated career, so it is important that women understand what impression it will give, if they communicate in a way, which is natural to them. ;)

30. Posted by Purdy (Travel Guru 3546 posts) 9y

Quoting Mel.

Quoting Q'

Quoting tway

I have to agree with Purdy - men are a lot easier to talk to. I think it's because women are raised, however subconsciously, to see one another as competition.

And men don't compete ???

I would say that they do.

And, I also think that silliness in the workplace is not gender specific.
I wonder if the reason Tway and Purdy prefer to work with men, than with women, is that they themselves are overly competitive. I think women are probably competitive about different things, to what men are. If there are fewer women around, then there is less competition, and Tway and Purdy therefore feel less tense. ;)

I cant speak for Tina (l dont know the ratio of male/female in her working environment) - but overly competitive is perhaps a bit strong but l dont see anything wrong with competition in the work place it builds a healthy atmosphere and helps breed ambition (IMO) - so you are probably right in your comment to say l am competitive to a point. I work in a traditionally male dominated arena so there are less women generally but l hate silly bitchiness and issues festering and GENERALLY you dont get this working in a male dominated environment. Now its not perfect but its just my personal preference.

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