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Travelling and Human Relationships

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41. Posted by Mel. (Travel Guru 4567 posts) 9y

Quoting tway

Of course! I think the difference is that - in general, of course - men see one another as competitors, whereas women see one another as competition.

What is the difference, between seeing a person as a competitor or as competition. Are u looking for an excuse, to be sexist?
There is a mistake that oppressed groups tended to make, throughout history. In order to escape the oppression, they move to the side of the oppressors. I think this is a mistake, becasue these people are not being true, to themselves.;)

[ Edit: Edited on Mar 7, 2007, at 12:26 AM by Mel. ]

42. Posted by Mel. (Travel Guru 4567 posts) 9y

Quoting tway

But if you watch interactions in the workplace you can see it - a kind of subtle balancing out when men and women interract. Call it flirting or something else, but it's palpable.

When I watch interactions, in the work place, I can see that a lot of conflict is caused, because women and men do not understand each other. Also, same sex people can have poor conflict solving skills and this causes problems, also.;)
But back to my question, are u getting payed the same and getting the same promotions as a man, with your experience and qualifications? If the answer is no, then this is may be caused by communication misunderstandings, with men, in your workplace. I am not so sure that flirting would get u into the top positions, and earn good pay raises for u. ;) But I think the flirting will score u plenty of points, with Neal.


[ Edit: Edited on Mar 7, 2007, at 12:34 AM by Mel. ]

43. Posted by Mel. (Travel Guru 4567 posts) 9y

I just read some bad news, for Tway and Purdy. :(
Here is a copy and paste of it.

By the year 2008, women will make up approximately 48 % of the labor force.
(from the following web link. I was told I should include the source, when I copy and past from other sites.

44. Posted by Q' (Travel Guru 1987 posts) 9y

On the other hand, I know of one guy who quit nursing because he couldn't handle being in a female dominated industry. We all have needs as males and females, as well as individual needs. Bottom line if we don't take care of those needs, we suffer and don't do well.

45. Posted by Mel. (Travel Guru 4567 posts) 9y

I think that is exactly right Q.
That is why we must work on inter gender communication. Then we will know how to bring out the best, in others and have less work place conflict and higher productivity. Of course, not all work place conflict is because of misunderstandings, between women and men.

[ Edit: Edited on Mar 7, 2007, at 1:21 AM by Mel. ]

46. Posted by Mel. (Travel Guru 4567 posts) 9y

Quoting samsara2

And it's not something to apologise for. Some women can interact better with men, it doesnt mean they are total flirts. If other women have a problem with that, it speaks more about themselves that it does about you.

Samsara, I think it is important to be able to communicate effectively, with both woman and men, in the workplace.
I also suspect, that the women who believe that they communicate better with men have a more male style of communication, or else they are not communicating as well as they think they are. How well u are communicating with men, in a male dominated work place is demonstrated in how successful u are, in comparison with the men in your environment. If u are getting payed less, than a man with your experience and qualifications, chances are u are not communicating effectively. If a man who is not as qualified and experienced as u are, gets promoted over u, then u are not communicating effectively.;)
There is a lot of prejudice, in the work place, against the style of communication, which comes naturally to women. Unfortunately, for us, until this changes, we must learn to communicate, in a way, which makes what we say heard, in the way we mean it.

47. Posted by Mel. (Travel Guru 4567 posts) 9y

Quoting Herr Bert

I guess I am not a man after all.

Both men and women have a masculine and feminine side. Some men have more feminine side, than other men. And some women.....
Maybe, this is the case, with u.;)

48. Posted by Mel. (Travel Guru 4567 posts) 9y

Quoting Herr Bert

A man wants to do work the way he thinks he needs to do it. He will never ask somebody else how he or she does the same job, not even if he finds out someone else is doing that a lot faster. For a man, not being able to discover how something is done best, and needing to ask for help (or directions) is like going to hell and back.

It is looking more likely, that u have a strong feminine side Herr Bert. This quote is typical of a rant women in the work place would have about men.
Men like to be autonomomous, while working. Women usually like to work in a collaborative and cooperative way, with others. Luckily, this way that women have of working is starting to be seen as effective, in the workplace. So, we are slowly gaining some influence.

49. Posted by Mel. (Travel Guru 4567 posts) 9y

Quoting Herr Bert

Personaly I think a mixture of both sexes works the best, and as far as talking is concerned, men never have something interesting to tell anyway. (work, work, work, sport, cars, women ... and that's about it). I don't like competition on the workfloor, if you are working for one company, you should realize, that you are working together. The competition is on, with another company, but not within a company or an office. (I know I stand alone in, thinking like that, and that's one of the reasons I can't work in a big company.)

I dont think u are as alone, as u think u are Herr Bert. I think many women would agree with u. (And, I sure hope I am not offending u, by comparing the way u think, with the way women think.)
The work place is often a cold and harsh place, for woman, because it does not allow them to work, in a way, that is nurturing to them. :)

50. Posted by Mel. (Travel Guru 4567 posts) 9y

Quoting Q'

It's really too bad since I tend to see engineering as a nurturing process.

Yeah. That type of environment probably suits u. Because most of the other employees communicate, in a style, which is natural to u. ;)

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