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Travelling and Human Relationships

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51. Posted by Herr Bert (Moderator 1384 posts) 9y

Quoting Mel.

I dont think u are as alone, as u think u are Herr Bert. I think many women would agree with u. (And, I sure hope I am not offending u, by comparing the way u think, with the way women think.)

Not all Mel, I am aware that I do, so how can I be offended about it?

52. Posted by tway (Travel Guru 7273 posts) 9y

Quoting Mel.

Quoting tway

Of course! I think the difference is that - in general, of course - men see one another as competitors, whereas women see one another as competition.

Tway
What is the difference, between seeing a person as a competitor or as competition. Are u looking for an excuse, to be sexist?

I don't follow you - sexist against men? Against women? I'm not looking for an excuse for anything - merely stating a general observation.

Competitor = May the best man/woman win
Competition = You'd bloody well better not win

53. Posted by tway (Travel Guru 7273 posts) 9y

Quoting Mel.

But back to my question, are u getting payed the same and getting the same promotions as a man, with your experience and qualifications? If the answer is no, then this is may be caused by communication misunderstandings, with men, in your workplace. I am not so sure that flirting would get u into the top positions, and earn good pay raises for u. ;) But I think the flirting will score u plenty of points, with Neal.

I have ABSOLUTELY no idea what point you're trying to make. Nowhere did I say I was flirting my way to the top (which would be odd as my boss - who's wonderful, BTW - is a woman). I merely said that relationships between men and women in the workplace tend to involve what one can call, for lack of a better word, a flirtatious element to it. I do not mean that people hike up their skirts or bat their eyes or grab whatever passes by. I mean that there's this sort of relaxed comfort zone between men and women that's often missing in all-woman offices. I worked in one place with 15 women and 3 men (2 of whom were gay), and everyone agreed that more testosterone was needed. This wasn't sexist, merely stating the need to regain some balance.

Please, Mel, don't put words in my mouth; I never once said it's OK for me - or any woman, or man for that matter - to use flirting to get to the top.

54. Posted by Mel. (Travel Guru 4567 posts) 9y

Quoting tway

I don't follow you - sexist against men? Against women? I'm not looking for an excuse for anything - merely stating a general observation.

Competitor = May the best man/woman win
Competition = You'd bloody well better not win

Sexist against women, Tway. It is women u dont like working with.
I think most people who are being sexist, rascist, or one of the other ists would probably claim, that what they are saying is true, because they observed it.
But how are they observing? Not in an openminded way, and that is for sure.

55. Posted by Mel. (Travel Guru 4567 posts) 9y

Quoting tway

I have ABSOLUTELY no idea what point you're trying to make.

Well, that appears to be true.;)

56. Posted by Mel. (Travel Guru 4567 posts) 9y

Quoting Herr Bert

Not all Mel, I am aware that I do, so how can I be offended about it?

Phew!!!!

57. Posted by Q' (Travel Guru 1987 posts) 9y

Quoting Mel.

Quoting tway

I have ABSOLUTELY no idea what point you're trying to make.

Well, that appears to be true.;)

Please, let's keep this discussion factual.

58. Posted by Q' (Travel Guru 1987 posts) 9y

Quoting tway

Competitor = May the best man/woman win
Competition = You'd bloody well better not win

I'm not sure if it's what you really mean. Men can see others as "competition" in your sense as well.

59. Posted by Isadora (Travel Guru 13926 posts) 9y

Quoting Mel.

Quoting tway

I don't follow you - sexist against men? Against women? I'm not looking for an excuse for anything - merely stating a general observation.

Competitor = May the best man/woman win
Competition = You'd bloody well better not win

Sexist against women, Tway. It is women u dont like working with.
I think most people who are being sexist, rascist, or one of the other ists would probably claim, that what they are saying is true, because they observed it.
But how are they observing? Not in an openminded way, and that is for sure.

I've just gone back, reread all of Tina's replies and nowhere does she state that she doesn't like working with women. I'm also not reading anything that comes across as sexist, but rather just personal opinions/experiences and general observations within Tina's workplace.

60. Posted by tway (Travel Guru 7273 posts) 9y

Quoting Mel.

Sexist against women, Tway. It is women u dont like working with.
I think most people who are being sexist, rascist, or one of the other ists would probably claim, that what they are saying is true, because they observed it.
But how are they observing? Not in an openminded way, and that is for sure.

For the love of Pete (not that Pete!). I said men and women have a bond that women and women don't have. I love working with my boss (a woman) and my coworkers (half of whom are women). My observation is that women IN GENERAL have an easier time relating to men. That's it. Point finale. How you read that I'm sexist into that is beyond me. Not once did I say "I" when making this observation. You are grossly and irresponsibly twisting my words and attributing false statements to me.

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