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Travelling and Human Relationships

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61. Posted by beerman (Respected Member 1631 posts) 9y

Quoting tway

My observation is that women IN GENERAL have an easier time relating to men. That's it. Point finale.

OK, let me get this straight, because I think inquiring minds want to know: If you did flirt with your boss (a "woman"), would you have someone film it? And would you share the films?

I think this is really at the heart of the matter here.

62. Posted by Isadora (Travel Guru 13926 posts) 9y

Quoting samsara2

I started thinking recently about what effect the mundanities of life can have on your spirit, psyche..etc.

Why is it that people's relationships become so fraught with pettiness and tension in their ordinary day to day living?

Overload and believing the entitlement rhetoric. Whether self-imposed or from any number of outside sources, people have become overloaded. In the workplace, the average person's workload has increased as the number of employees has decreased through downsizing or whatever. With the advent of technology, such as the internet, laptops, cell phones, etc., one's home life has been encroached upon enormously by the work place which adds to the overload and stress that comes with it. It's almost impossible to leave work, mentally and/or physically, at the office anymore. When one feels they can not escape from a given situation, tensions build, tempers shorten and minor issues escalate out of proportion. Throw some children and family issues in for good measure and things spiral out of control.

The issue of entitlement also plays a role in relationships, both at home and at work. For lack of a better description, the "it's all about me" syndrome is on the rise. (I probably shouldn't call it a syndrome because someone will then decide it's a disease, develop designer drugs, support groups, and 12-step programs to illeviate the problem and remove all personal responsibility. But, I digress.) We're entitled to that job or that raise or that office, etc. We also think we are entitled to respect rather than have to earn it the old fashioned way by being good people. (Disclaimer: I use the word "we" in the societal sense.) When those entitlements aren't handed out like candy bars, human nature is to look for someone or something other than ourselves to place blame upon. Both sexes are very adept at this.

Both men and women are primally designed to work together within their gender to accomplish certain goals such as food gathering, child rearing and the like. They are also designed to work across the sexes to reproduce. This basic attraction is what lets men and women work together with less friction than men with men or women with women. Women can work very well with other women, and some prefer such workplaces. But, back to the nature thing, women had a much smaller "territory" that they were responsible for protecting and thus more quick to respond. Not much has changed, we just dress better now.

Do you think that travelling can have a positive part to play in how you interact with other people?

Traveling definitely plays a positive role in interpersonal relationships. The more one travels, the greater their view of other people and cultures. It also gives the mind and body time to relax. Most are able to be more receptive of others if they feel a sense of having been refreshed and enlightened.

Do you think that people are this petty because they've never travelled?

No. People are this petty out of selfishness and the inability to look beyond their nose. Travel would not necessarily fix that problem. Granted, a nice vacation might help, but generally, a jackass is a jackass is a jackass.

63. Posted by tway (Travel Guru 7273 posts) 9y

Quoting Isadora

Both men and women are primally designed to work together within their gender to accomplish certain goals such as food gathering, child rearing and the like. They are also designed to work across the sexes to reproduce. This basic attraction is what lets men and women work together with less friction than men with men or women with women.

My goodness, you've hit the nail on the head. Beautifully said, Isa! From now on, when I say "flirtation", I mean "what Isa said."

Excellent point, as always.

64. Posted by Purdy (Travel Guru 3546 posts) 9y

Quoting Mel.

Quoting Purdy

I work in a traditionally male dominated arena so there are less women generally but l hate silly bitchiness and issues festering and GENERALLY you dont get this working in a male dominated environment. Now its not perfect but its just my personal preference.

Would it be that your work is not at a competitive standard, and that is why u have not noticed that men are competitive?
And have u not heard them bitching about others, because they do not trust u, with their real feelings, about people?

Mel - l really dont know what you are trying to do here or imply to be honest - l have a very good job, you insinuate that my work is not at a competitive standard - what does that mean exactly? And as your last sentence - what are you implying again?

In a male dominated environment there is less petty bitchiness and minor issues being made into major ones. With predominately male environment the issues are brought to the fore head on and dealt with in a more open matter I prefer working in environment.

Where do you get off making such statements about someone you know NOTHING about?

65. Posted by Q' (Travel Guru 1987 posts) 9y

Quoting beerman

Quoting tway

My observation is that women IN GENERAL have an easier time relating to men. That's it. Point finale.

OK, let me get this straight, because I think inquiring minds want to know: If you did flirt with your boss (a "woman"), would you have someone film it? And would you share the films?

I think this is really at the heart of the matter here.

And would this involve whip cream and cherries ???

66. Posted by Herr Bert (Moderator 1384 posts) 9y

If we are gonna drag evolution into this, then men don't argue that much, because they didn't had the time to argue when a big wooly mammoth had to be caught (group effort), as it was dangerous enough to be eye to eye, with such an animal, and they choose to ignore things.(I believe, that's what men do), but women where picking berries (gathering food) had time enough to talk and therefor to argue, because picking berries, you could do alone, and didn't need a group effort?

does that make any sense?

67. Posted by Mel. (Travel Guru 4567 posts) 9y

Quoting Q'

Quoting Mel.

Quoting tway

I have ABSOLUTELY no idea what point you're trying to make.

Well, that appears to be true.;)

Please, let's keep this discussion factual.

Huh???

68. Posted by Mel. (Travel Guru 4567 posts) 9y

Quoting Q'

Quoting tway

Competitor = May the best man/woman win
Competition = You'd bloody well better not win

I'm not sure if it's what you really mean. Men can see others as "competition" in your sense as well.

And often do, in my opinion.

69. Posted by Isadora (Travel Guru 13926 posts) 9y

Quoting Herr Bert

If we are gonna drag evolution into this, then men don't argue that much, because they didn't had the time to argue when a big wooly mammoth had to be caught (group effort), as it was dangerous enough to be eye to eye, with such an animal, and they choose to ignore things.(I believe, that's what men do), but women where picking berries (gathering food) had time enough to talk and therefor to argue, because picking berries, you could do alone, and didn't need a group effort?

does that make any sense?

It makes perfect sense and I just stopped at the point about women because it was becoming a long post.

Both hunting and gathering were better done in the company of others. Men were able to hunt more game by working together to find and kill the prey. But in doing so, they also were not in same type of proximity as were the women. Men spread out to cover larger areas and flush out game. They weren't standing an arms length away. Men naturally distance themselves from each other in the workforce too. That is, they don't need to be acutely aware of each others daily duties and how they are performing them. Because they had to deal with the big things like mammoths and tigers, disputes over smaller things were a distraction and likely to get them killed. It's similar to focusing on the "big" picture. Kill one mammoth and everyone shares in the victory and eats.

Women, on the other hand, gathered. More berries and roots could be collected if they also worked together. Edible plants were likely to be found in small patches here and there, making the work area smaller. Women worked more closely together physically. They also had the job of protecting the children and the best way to do that is by keeping them next to you. Unlike the mammoth, one person doesn't collect their share of berries and it's readily noticable. Smaller territory, smaller disputes (compared to hunting), but still of great importance. It's also plays to the "nesting" thing. Protect the nest from adversaries and women do consider their workplace part of their personal nest. That's obvious in the different ways men and women "decorate" their desk/offfice. Women tend to personalize their space and other women in the office can easily violate that "nest" by entering that space. A woman who is confronted about a problem while seated at her own desk will respond more angrily than if she was seated or standing by the desk of the person confronting her. Why? Her personal space had been violated.

70. Posted by samsara_ (Travel Guru 5353 posts) 9y

Isnt interesting how this very thread has ignited the same kind of behavioral tendencies as the ones under discussion :)

Tway, I dont think anyone who was reading your point properly could accuse you of flirting your way to the top ;)

Thanks for bringing the thread back on topic Isa. You're absolutely right I think about the "all about me" syndrome. It;s something that I think about a lot. This generation is essentially a selfish one, and that probably means a lot of things for interpersonal relationships in the workplace.

Herr Bert - really interesting points about the origins of our personalities. I've never thought of it like that before.

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