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good joke.

Travel Forums Off Topic good joke.


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11. Posted by Purdy (Travel Guru 3546 posts) 9y

Fun Bobby - you have WAY too much time on your hands! But l think the winner for the funniest joke goes to..............

Ireland's worst air disaster occurred early this morning when a small
two-seater Cessna plane crashed into a cemetery.

Irish search and rescue workers have recovered 1826 bodies so far and
expect that number to climb as digging continues into the night


12. Posted by Delimor (Budding Member 96 posts) 9y

In Resturant.

-What do you want sir ?
= Nothing
-And you ?
"" Make it two

13. Posted by IronChef (Full Member 1076 posts) 9y

Hope this isn't too crass.

Being as I live near San Francisco ...

Two Condoms are walking around in the Castro district. Going down the street they pass a gay bar. One condom turns to the other and says 'You wanna go in there and get shit-faced'

14. Posted by Fun Bobby (Budding Member 115 posts) 9y

A little paper isn't feeling too well so he decides to go to the doctors for some tests.

A week later the doctor calls him and says he has some bad news. The paper bag has HIV.

'Oh my God, I don't believe it' said the paper bag, 'How could this have happened?'

'Well' said the doctor, 'are you drug user, do you share needles?'

'No' said the paper bag.

'And what about your sex life, are you promiscuous, many partners, are you a homosexual?'

Again 'No' said the little paper bag, 'I don't have sex, I'm just a bag.'

'Well then' said the doctor, 'theres only 1 thing for it...............your mum must have been a carrier!'

15. Posted by wouterrr (Travel Guru 3379 posts) 9y

Its all a bit too hilarious.....

16. Posted by Fun Bobby (Budding Member 115 posts) 9y

Knock knock

Who's there?


Biggish who?

No thanks mate!!!

Get it - Big Issue?

OK, placing this under the 'good joke' thread was a bit of false advertising.

17. Posted by Mel. (Travel Guru 4567 posts) 9y

Keep up the good work, Fun Bobby!!!!!!;)

I think your jokes, should be rated from 1 to 10, in future.
It will be Wouters job, to rate them.;)

18. Posted by tway (Travel Guru 7273 posts) 9y

My favourite knock-knock joke (which may or may not work when written out...)

Who's there?
The interrupting cow.
The interrupting cow w---

19. Posted by wouterrr (Travel Guru 3379 posts) 9y

Quoting tway

My favourite knock-knock joke (which may or may not work when written out...)

Who's there?
The interrupting cow.
The interrupting cow w---


20. Posted by Fun Bobby (Budding Member 115 posts) 9y


1) I saw a woman wearing a sweatshirt with 'Guess' on it. I said,
Thyroid problem?

2) When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bike. Then I
realized that The Lord doesn't work that way, so I stole one and asked
him to forgive me.

3) I've often wanted to drown my troubles, but I can't get my wife to
go swimming.

4) I was doing some decorating, so I got out my step-ladder. I don't
get on with my real ladder.

5) Well I was bullied at school, called all kinds of different names.
But one day I turned to my bullies and said - 'Sticks and stones may
break my bones but names will never hurt me', and it worked! From
there on it was sticks and stones all the way.

6) My Dad used to say 'always fight fire with fire', which is probably
why he got thrown out of the fire brigade.

7) Sex is like a game of bridge: If you don't have a good partner,
you'd better have a good hand.

8) I saw six men kicking and punching the mother-in-law. My neighbour
said Are you going to help?' I said 'No, Six should be enough.'

9) If we aren't supposed to eat animals, then why are they made out of meat?

10) I think animal testing is a terrible idea; they get all nervous
and give the wrong answers.

11) You know that look women get when they want sex? Me neither.


1. Why does your gynaecologist leave the room when you get undressed?

2. If a person owns a piece of land do they own it all the way down to
the core of the earth

3. Why can't women put on mascara with their mouth closed?

4. Is it possible to brush your teeth without wiggling your back side

5. Why is it called Alcoholics Anonymous when the first thing you do
is stand up and say, 'My name is Bob, and I am an alcoholic'?

6. Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer?

7. Why does mineral water that 'has trickled through mountains for
centuries have a 'use by' date?

8. Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a
horrible crisp no one would eat?

9. Is French kissing in France just called kissing?

10. Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, 'I think I'll
squeeze these dangly things here and drink whatever comes out'?

11. What do people in China call their good plates?

12. Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but
don't point to their crotch when they ask where the bathroom?

13. Why is a person that handles your money called a 'Broker'?

14. If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests?

15. Why is it that when someone tells you that there are over billion
stars in the universe, you believe them, but if they tell you there is
wet paint somewhere, you have to touch it to make sure?

16. Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets
mad at you but when you take him on a car ride, he sticks his head out of the window?

Universal Truths

1) Triangular sandwiches taste better than square ones.

2) At the end of every party there is always a girl crying.

3) One of the most awkward things that can happen in a pub is when
your pint-to-toilet cycle gets synchronised with a complete stranger.

4) You've never quite sure whether it's ok to eat green crisps.

5) Everyone who grew up in the 80's has entered the digits 55378008
into a calculator.

8) Nobody ever dares make cup-a-soup in a bowl.

9) You never know where to look when eating a banana.

10) Rummaging in an overgrow garden will always turn up a bouncy ball.

11) Everyone always remembers the day a dog ran into your school.

12) the most embarrassing thing you can do as schoolchild is to call
your teacher mum or dad.

13) Every bloke has at some stage while taking a pee, flushed half way
through and then raced against the flush.

14) Its impossible to look cool whilst picking up a Frisbee.

15) You never ever run out of salt.

16) There's no panic like the panic you momentarily feel when you've
got your hand or head stuck in something.

17) No one knows the origins of their metal coat hangers.

18) Despite constant warning, you have never met anybody who has had their arm broken by a swan.

19) The most painful household incident is wearing socks and stepping
on an upturned plug.

20) People who don't drive slam car doors too hard.

21) You've turned into your dad the day you put aside a thin piece of
wood specifically to stir paint with.

22) Everyone had an uncle who tried to steal their nose.