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same sex relationships ??????

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21. Posted by garry moll (Budding Member, 348 posts) 17 May '07 16:08

Quoting James,
This is our right after all. If you don't like it then I suggest that you narrow minded people get your heads out of your Bibles/Korans/Torahs and get with the 21st century.
Hey James that does confuse me, I guess the church is faster moving than my thoughts; they do accept and do join together in marriage of same sexual gender. confused:
Gays, lesbians whatever good on them and all the best. Im not knocking them at all. Im not even thinking of the sexual side of things, they are all loving people in there own way, single parents, fantastic to me for whatever reason they are one parent family’s and this could be any reason too.
Children are moulded by there parents or parent. Is this not true?
I guess once old enough the child can then make up his or hers mind about any aspect in life.
It’s the earlier part of children’s lives up to and when they find out that there family lives are different from others.
And to me the “norm” does make a difference.
For instance, if a child has been brought up with corporal punishment and smacking,
Or in an environment were swearing is taken for granted,
Or that the children attend church every Sunday.
Or that the whole of the family support Barnsley football club and go see them every Saturday
This must have an influence of the children growing up and the chances are that when the child grows up he or she will smack there children, or swear at there children, or take them to church every Sunday or god help them go to the Barnsley matches with me.
It’s only my thoughts, im open minded and not sure if im a bigot or not, or still in another century or is it just how I was brought up ????

22. Posted by angela_ (Respected Member, 1732 posts) 17 May '07 17:05

I know at least 2 people that have gay dads and it hasn't affected them in the least. One of them is my cousin, and she lives a very "normal" life. The other one is my little sisters best friend. She has 3 brothers and sisters, the youngest is 5 years old, I think.
They have both been raised having a gay dad and a straight mum, so that must be the norm in their families, right?
They aren't any more gay or any more straight because of their parents, but I think that they are more open to other peoples sexual orientations.
So I think that children brought up in same sex relationships will just be more open to other people.
They will never just see same sex relationships, they will see heterosexual relationships around so it's not like they wont know about other orientations.

I hope this makes some sense, I'm trying to write what I think and it's all muddled in my head so it's probably very muddled in print..

23. Posted by kombizz (Full Member, 1416 posts) 17 May '07 19:39

Is it a political advert?

24. Posted by james (Travel Guru, 4123 posts) 17 May '07 20:19

Children need a mother and father.

25. Posted by Mel. (Travel Guru, 4567 posts) 18 May '07 00:27

Quoting Utrecht

Quoting Fun Bobby

Listening to Abba IS abnormal!!

LOL, only if you are listening to Dancing Queer...uhm, Queen

26. Posted by Mel. (Travel Guru, 4567 posts) 18 May '07 00:43

Quoting Q'

In the end, I think it's about whether the parents take responsibility for the child, and knowing and being realistic about what you're getting yourself into. I think gay parents, or single parents can be great parents. And the skills involved are the same as those for heterosexual parents. BUT, it will be a DIFFERENT life.

Having been a parent, for over 6 years, I can tell u, that u have it exactly right, with that first sentence above. Any childless person can speculate about what makes a good parent, but they cannot know if they can realistically achieve this. A very important part of parenting is taking responsibility and being realistic. Just about anybody can be a good parent for a day or a week, but parents are in it, for the long haul. A real good parent has the stamina to do her/his best day in day out, year in year out, through exhaustion, frustration, stress.... Many parents run out of steam, after a week, a few months, a couple of years... That is what keeps the the Child Protection Services so busy.
Any person gay or straight who has the stamina, to search for and implement the best available parenting techniques, forgive themselves and try again and again for those important 18 years of childhood is an excellent parent.
There may be research, to show the effects of absentee fathers or mothers and the effects of all kinds of other things, but there is no parenting perfection. Hetro married couples are never perfect parents either.

For any childless person here, who wants to get a realistic impression of the challanges of parenting, try the following experiment.
Sleep for no more than 2 hours per night, for 3 night running. Go to work on each of the 3 days. How u relate to a complaining customer, on the 4th day will be how u are likely to relate to your child. Try relating to that customer, in the way u would like to relate to your child, when u become a parent. That is how much patience u will need. And remember this experiment was only 4 days long. U will be a parent, for 18 years, with each of your children.;) By now, I hope u are starting to see why being gay or straight is of little importance, when it comes to effective parenting.;)

[ Edit: Edited on May 18, 2007, at 1:15 AM by Mel. ]

27. Posted by james (Travel Guru, 4123 posts) 18 May '07 01:23

Quoting Mel.

There may be research, to show the effects of absentee fathers or mothers and the effects of all kinds of other things, but there is no parenting perfection. Hetero married couple are never perfect parents either.

Who cares Mel?

It's an intellectually bankrupt argument that tries to justify the virtues of gay "parents" or a single parent on the basis that "hetero married couples are never perfect". I'm sure there are plenty of bad single parents around. Married couples certainly don't have a monopoly on bad parenting.

It is also disingenous for people to choose the "best" from the gay lifestyle and compare it to the "worst" from the heterosexual lifestyle. The glorifying of the gay lifestyle as one of fashion, good taste, good times, etc is a complete lie. Let's not play games here; most gay people live a "gay" lifestyle with everything that goes with it (but no one wants to mention), and not some picture of white picket fence, suburban bliss. Similarly, most straight people are not bad parents.

I repeat, children need a mother and father.

[ Edit: Fixed quote ]

28. Posted by Fun Bobby (Budding Member, 115 posts) 18 May '07 03:03

I have a mum and dad and I turned out fine so hard to argue with James!

29. Posted by Mel. (Travel Guru, 4567 posts) 18 May '07 04:51

Quoting james

Quoting Mel.

There may be research, to show the effects of absentee fathers or mothers and the effects of all kinds of other things, but there is no parenting perfection. Hetero married couple are never perfect parents either.

It's an intellectually bankrupt argument that tries to justify the virtues of gay "parents" or a single parent on the basis that "hetero married couples are never perfect". I'm sure there are plenty of bad single parents around. Married couples certainly don't have a monopoly on bad parenting.

It is also disingenous for people to choose the "best" from the gay lifestyle and compare it to the "worst" from the heterosexual lifestyle. The glorifying of the gay lifestyle as one of fashion, good taste, good times, etc is a complete lie. Let's not play games here; most gay people live a "gay" lifestyle with everything that goes with it (but no one wants to mention), and not some picture of white picket fence, suburban bliss. Similarly, most straight people are not bad parents.

Huh?
UMMM!!!!!
That is not what I meant, at all, James.;)

[ Edit: Edited on May 18, 2007, at 4:51 AM by Mel. ]

30. Posted by tway (Travel Guru, 7274 posts) 18 May '07 07:14

Quoting garry moll

It’s the earlier part of children’s lives up to and when they find out that there family lives are different from others.

I see what you mean, Garry. Children are so sensitive to being different, they may find it difficult to tell others that their parents are gay - or they may feel left out or be ridiculed or whatever. To me, that's a lot like kids whose parents were divorced way back when it wasn't the norm. They must have felt awkward and embarassed about it, but in the end their parents made a conscious decision that being apart was better for everyone all round. Gay parents need to be just as sensitive to the situation, and find ways to help their kids come to terms with that difference.

Plus, as you're inferring here (if I read you right!), a boy raised by lesbians will need a male role model, and vice versa. Like children raised by single parents, I think those parents need to find a role model that the child can turn to - an uncle, a grandfather, a Big Brother, a friend, etc. Parents need to find some balance for their children, no matter the situation. Everyone was raised different to the "norm" in some way or other.