I have recently arrived in Cairns, I decided to take the plunge and travel alone. However I am finding it quite hard to make friends. So far I have chatted to the people in my dorm but thats about it as they all seem to be doing their own thing. I had no fear about coming alone as I was told it would be very easy to make friends but so far this has not happened. I am slightly shy to begin with but once I get chatting to people i usually have no trouble making friends..Ive got loads at home!! Can anyone advise me on the best places to go/things to do to make some friends as I am getting slightly depressed at the thought of spending all this time on my own, and know I would start enjoying myself more if I was to meet some similar people.
I think the way to go about it, is not to have a motive in your heart ' to make friends '
Just try to be natural, do your own stuffs, and you will see people naturally coming to you. Most of the travelers dont talk to you cos of you are, because they dont know! Most of them talk, when they see you engaging in an activity that interests them, or they will be doing as well.
Well, I guess it helps when one has special features that stands out in the continent you are in. I probably will stand out in Europe with my black hair and eyes while you probably will stand out in Asia with blonde hair as well. That can be a topic of conversation.
Just relax, and you will come across more friends then ever.
Hi emma, i think you emailed me back?? well im going to be in surfers as off this fi coming... are you planning on heading down the way at all? i will be going up to cairns but as yet not sure when. ive been here now 2 weeks and because i have stayed with family i have not really met any one yet or made friends, im hoping when i get into hostel it will be easy, heres hoping eh! keep me updated with where you are! would love to meet up for a drink or do some sightseeing! x
im in sleepy Adelaide at the moment, and traveling on my own and do understand where you are coming from. It is hard to make new friends if you think to hard about it, just be yourself and remember why you came here in the first place, and enjoy the time. Its easier to make friends when you are in a happy frame of mind. Most of the people who you meet are completely different, but we are all the same, we are all traveling and love to hear other peoples views and story's of places where they have been.
Keep your chin up Emma-jo, live life to the full, grab life with both hands and, be wild but be safe.
I'm pretty much like you, can be pretty quiet but around the right people i'm a social butterfly!!!
You just need to be relaxed and dont think about it too much. I've just dione a year in OZ and there were some places that i felt more lonelier than others, other places i met so many people i had a blast. I always found that the kitchen and meal times was a great time and place for meeting people in hostels, then everyone starts arranging to go out for the evening and you just tag along.
When you go out to clubs/pubs you always meet people, fellow travellers and aussies and you end up swapping numbers and meeting up. For me that's the best part.
One thing about me is that i can keep myself to myself if i dont know people and i think people tend to shy away from you if you come across like that, so try and seem approachable.
You'll soon start meeting people you'll see. Hope your enjoying it all though!!
I am currently in Cairns until tues, where are u staying? Give me a shout if u wana meet up..as for making friends, I can see why u might think its hard but sometimes you just have to take the plunge and approach people rather than waiting for them to chat to you...remember they dont know that you are on your own unless you tell them!!
Have you been staying in all female dorms or mixed dorms? Staying in Mixed dorms is a far better way of making friends than always staying in the same sex dorms, so if you've been staying in all female dorms try staying in mixed dorms and see how you go. I think the main reason for this is that a lot of females are afraid to take the plunge and travel alone rather than with a friend, so a lot of women in the hostels are travelling with a friend or with a boyfriend. On the otherhand a lot less males are afraid of travelling alone and most the time they usually tend to stay in the mixed dorms for a more mixed social feeling rather than the boring feeling in the same sex dorms unless the other option doesn't exist. I'm sure it'll work out soon. Don't be afraid to initiate the conversation, after all if you stuff up it isn't like the person is going to tell everyone you know like may happen at home if you mucked up.
[ Edit: Edited on Jun 22, 2007, at 3:31 AM by aharrold45 ]
Heyy im in cairns too.. I live here.
post back if you would like to catch up, or would like some info
Thanks for the advice everyone, however I an still finding it hard, infact I am thinking of cutting my trip short and going home soon, i cant take being on my own all the time!! Its not how I thought it would be and its making me miserable and depressed. aharrold, I took your advice and booked into a mixed dorm, there where 4 19 year old boys who were all together and where only interested in drinking, and a canadian girl who I got on quite well with but unfortunately she left the next day to go and stay with family in sydney, typical!! I have tried sitting near the kitchen at meal times as suggested by lil j, and I even started a few conversations with people, but as most of them where already with other people, I found that the conversations generally didnt get past how long they'd been travelling and where they had been. Is anyone else having the same problem as me? I am not enjoying myself being alone all time and beginning to wish I had come with a friend, it would have been so different.
I think you have just been really unlucky. I travelled alone round Oz and in spite of being quite a shy person I had no problem meeting people and it got to the stage where I would have to actually make a concerted effort to be on my own if i wanted to be!
What about going on an organised tour somewhere for a few days? This way you will have more of a chance to spend some proper time with people getting to know them. also maybe you should try staying in different types of hostels? I always avoided the party places as it's not really me and they seemed quite intimidating so definitely harder to meet people in.
I would really encourage you to stick it out as I think it will come right in the end, and you may really regret it once you get home.