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Relationships Lasting the test of time/travel

Travel Forums General Talk Relationships Lasting the test of time/travel

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1. Posted by Rachael87 (Budding Member 5 posts) 8y

A situation my friends in.. that could be one i end up in too.
Any advice would be incredably helpful

If you had been with someone for 2 and half years and went travelling for a year but stayed longer... would that mean you dont want to go back to that relationship?

Would you have changed so much from your trip when you got home that you wouldnt want to be with that person anymore?

Has anyone ever kept someone waiting for them for so long and got home and everything worked out? or did it all end in tears?

Thanks for any help x

2. Posted by lagosmm (Budding Member 50 posts) 8y

My boyfriend and I are in a long-distance relationship at the moment. We both move between countries. We spent a year together in Canada and recently 7 months apart. It is challenging, I must admit.

I recently read an article on long-distance relationships. There were a number of couples in situations, but this was the most extreme:

the guy moved to the states for flight school, she stayed in Denmark. They were separated for many years (dont remember exactly how many...it was enough though) What made their relationship work was : 1. They laid down ground rules (if the met someone else, each other expectations, etc.) and they communicated to each other each day (txt messages.) He said by communicating each day, this reminded him that she was thinking about him. Now they are married. (I read this article about a month ago and don't exactly remember the fine details.) It's nice to know these things are doable, especially if you don't want to sacrifice traveling ;)

3. Posted by kezin (Budding Member 104 posts) 8y

any co-relationship- regardless of circumstances- ultimately involves some personal ' skydiving '. The risk is always there, and the challenge should be embraced. Your relationship will survive just about everything and anything so long as the two of you- individually- recognize that it is not the ' job ' of your partner to ' make ' you feel good about yourself. That is up to you. Fear, doubt, accusation, and unreasonable expectation are the four horsemen of the apocalypse who will- if appearing unbidden across the plains of your romance- inevitably lay waste to it. If your relationship is inherently strong already- then it should survive an ache of time ' apart ' from each other. If anything, your relationship itself will be stronger for it. relationships MUST be challenged at times- ( reasonably ) otherwise they stagnate. Your life independent of your partner is JUST AS IMPORTANT as your life WITH your partner. Best, Kevin

4. Posted by arif_kool (Travel Guru 1757 posts) 8y

Quoting Rachael87

Would you have changed so much from your trip when you got home that you wouldnt want to be with that person anymore?
Has anyone ever kept someone waiting for them for so long and got home and everything worked out? or did it all end in tears?

Thanks for any help x

Well Rachael,

It all depends how far u have gone in committing urself to the other person. In my case, i met with my gf in India and went steady for 2 yrs, then she had to go to Germany for research, we were separated for 3 years, only connected via email and phone, but then now she is back and we r together and still going strong and enjoying each others company. The commitment level has to be strong and we have to rise above the minor skirmishes to keep it going:)

Well, in ur friends case, it seems there was lack of commitment from the man at the very outset. Men tend to be outwardly drawn, but that should not be an excuse from breaking a commitment. I feel instead of being upset, she should learn from the experience and move ahead and surely the guy was not worth her

Cheers
Arif

5. Posted by Mel. (Travel Guru 4567 posts) 8y

Hello Rachel:)

Sounds like your friends boyfriend is really enjoying travel.
I think it is more than possilble that a person can change so much that they will no longer fit into the relationship they had before they started travelling, especially if your friends boyfriend is as young as u are.
I think it is important for people in their twenties not to tie themselves too closely to a relationship, so that they have space to find themselves and what they want out of life.
If your friend wants she could suggest to her boyfriend that she takes a couple of weeks holiday to visit where he is. Then she can see how things are.

Mel

6. Posted by james (Travel Guru 4136 posts) 8y

If I was on the receiving end of a I'm-going-travelling-for-a-long-time-but-it-would-be-good-if-you-waited-for-me proposition, I'd tell the other party to shove it (after a final shag of course).

Talk about wanting the cake and eating it too.

7. Posted by tway (Travel Guru 7273 posts) 8y

I was in a long-distance things for 4 years and he just moved over here about a month and a half ago. It wasn't always easy to live apart, but we were always open and honest and we both made sure we lived our own lives instead of pining away. It worked out for us - I'd even say I wouldn't have changed a thing.

But to say you're going for a yera and then decide to go for longer? Sounds like your friend has some serious thinking to do. It isn't fair for the person waiting behind to have to be on hold. I think your friend needs to make up her mind.

8. Posted by kezin (Budding Member 104 posts) 8y

Quoting james

If I was on the receiving end of a I'm-going-travelling-for-a-long-time-but-it-would-be-good-if-you-waited-for-me proposition, I'd tell the other party to shove it (after a final shag of course).

Talk about wanting the cake and eating it too.

- Final shags are fine; except that often enough they are anything but final. After reading the last batch of posts I have shifted my opinion somewhat. If it was pre- established between the two of them- understood by both of them- that the travelling segment/portion would be BACK within the parameters of a certain agreed- upon parcel of time- and then that individual decided to prolong the odyssey- and rationale for doing so- as presented- did not sound convincing or reasonable or valid- then yes, it would seem that something is ' rotten in the State of Denmark '.

9. Posted by james (Travel Guru 4136 posts) 8y

Quoting kezin

If it was pre- established between the two of them- understood by both of them- that the travelling segment/portion would be BACK within the parameters of a certain agreed- upon parcel of time- and then that individual decided to prolong the odyssey- and rationale for doing so- as presented- did not sound convincing or reasonable or valid- then yes, it would seem that something is ' rotten in the State of Denmark '.

Pardon?

10. Posted by tr2008 (First Time Poster 1 posts) 8y

Quoting kezin

Quoting james

If I was on the receiving end of a I'm-going-travelling-for-a-long-time-but-it-would-be-good-if-you-waited-for-me proposition, I'd tell the other party to shove it (after a final shag of course).

Talk about wanting the cake and eating it too.

- Final shags are fine; except that often enough they are anything but final. After reading the last batch of posts I have shifted my opinion somewhat. If it was pre- established between the two of them- understood by both of them- that the travelling segment/portion would be BACK within the parameters of a certain agreed- upon parcel of time- and then that individual decided to prolong the odyssey- and rationale for doing so- as presented- did not sound convincing or reasonable or valid- then yes, it would seem that something is ' rotten in the State of Denmark '.

:)