If it was pre- established between the two of them- understood by both of them- that the travelling segment/portion would be BACK within the parameters of a certain agreed- upon parcel of time- and then that individual decided to prolong the odyssey- and rationale for doing so- as presented- did not sound convincing or reasonable or valid- then yes, it would seem that something is ' rotten in the State of Denmark '.
- Sorry. Didn't realize you were Danish.
Personally, I don't think its fair to ask someone at home to wait. Or if you ask this of them, you should also ask them to be a part of the journey along the way. It depends on what you are looking for and what you want out of life and the relationship. When I left to travel, I was involved in a relationship where he wanted it to continue after I returned, but I knew I could make no promises. It wasn't fair to leave him hanging, when, in my mind, I was open to suggestion. After about a month or so on the road, things from home just sort of taper off for me, and the longer I am gone, the less I care about what I leave behind. I did come home a different person. One that could never have been happy to fit back into the person I had been.
As it turned out, I ended up meeting my husband along the way. What started as a little khaki fever, turned into a cross-continental relationship lasting for four years of back-back and forth-forth until we got married four years ago. It wasn't easy, but it helped that we were both committed to one another despite the aches and pains along the way. It also helped that i was able to feed my travel addiction by visiting him each year before we tied the knot and he likewise visited me. We were never apart for more than 7 months. Even still, it was extremely difficult at times being apart for so long. There were times when we both wondered if it was worth it. Now its easier to keep in touch via email and its a lot cheaper to talk on the phone. This helps a lot!
The bottom line is, you either grow together or you grow apart. The level of commitment will determine the course of the relationship. Whatever is more important in life to you/your friend, is where the heart will follow. If the commitment is to travel, then the relationship will fall off. If the commitment is to the love affair, you will find a way to keep it going. If you want things to work out, it takes faith in one another and the willingness to make it work. Most importantly, you have to be honest with yourself about your wants and needs.
Relationships are always a challange, and what is good in one relationship, doesn't have to work for an other couple.
I think the challange is to come closer to each other after time. Going away, and learning about yourself, and having all these experiences, can make people chance for the better, or it can do the opposite. It is really easy to grow apart while being apart. Especially if one person is stuck in the same old routine, and the other one get's to do all the fun stuff.
I always liked these few rules, to me they sound true:
If you love somebody, Set her free
I she comes back to you, she is your's forever
If she doesn't she was never your's to begin with.