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GAYS/LESBIANS

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71. Posted by Herr Bert (Moderator 1384 posts) 8y

Quoting tway

I'd care less that a bisexual boyfriend had male partners in the past - my concern would be that he'd one day decide he needed one in the present. But, as with any relationship, it's about honesty and commitment - and, like any relationship, you accept the risks of failing.

That can be one of the problems many bi-sexuals have. If they are with a man, they miss something, and when they are with a woman they miss something. If they focus to hard on what they miss, instead of what they have, they seem to go from one relationship to another, switching from men to women and back again. Without finding a basis for a stable relationship. Others are just looking for the right person, and it doesn't matter if that person is a woman or a man.

72. Posted by arif_kool (Travel Guru 1757 posts) 8y

Quoting james

Arif, this happens all the time and I have to fight 'em off with a stick. Life is tough sometimes

"fight 'em with a stick", needs further details

73. Posted by arif_kool (Travel Guru 1757 posts) 8y

Quoting Herr Bert

Quoting tway

I'd care less that a bisexual boyfriend had male partners in the past - my concern would be that he'd one day decide he needed one in the present. But, as with any relationship, it's about honesty and commitment - and, like any relationship, you accept the risks of failing.

That can be one of the problems many bi-sexuals have. If they are with a man, they miss something, and when they are with a woman they miss something. If they focus to hard on what they miss, instead of what they have, they seem to go from one relationship to another, switching from men to women and back again. Without finding a basis for a stable relationship. Others are just looking for the right person, and it doesn't matter if that person is a woman or a man.

I agree with Herr Bert here

Bisexuals find it really difficult to stick on to a stable relationship. Riding on two boats is no mean task and u always run of risk of displeasing either of ur partners

74. Posted by tway (Travel Guru 7273 posts) 8y

Quoting arif_kool

Bisexuals find it really difficult to stick on to a stable relationship. Riding on two boats is no mean task and u always run of risk of displeasing either of ur partners

I've met a lot (and I mean a lot) of straight people who find it really difficult to stick to one relationship. I'm not even talking about those who just want to be single - I mean people who perpetually think the grass is greener on the other side, so they go from relationship to relationship thinking the person is "the one" for a month or two, then needing that first-date high again.

Thanks for your answer, Herr Bert - I was wondering if one would miss the "other side" of one's sexuality if you decided to settle down. I still think all sexuality, regardless of orientation, is pretty much the same at the core.

75. Posted by Isadora (Travel Guru 13926 posts) 8y

Quoting james

Gret response there Isa.

You wrote that " having thoughts flash....about how many men he may have slept with before........... The thoughts weren't fueled by the fact that he'd slept with men, they were fueled by the thought of 80% of my old neighbors having been diagnosed with HIV in the past 6 months and did he use condoms."

Doesn't this mean that, ultimately, the thoughts were because he'd slept with men?

i.e.
- he was bi-sexual
- he'd slept with men
- many men were HIV positive in your neighbourhood

You make a good point, James, and I'll answer the above with 1) no, 2) no, and 3) yes. His sexual orientation played little to no part in the scenario - his lack of good judgement was much more of a concern. By that I mean, he would not have necessarily thought "Oh, now would be a good time to use a condom". To be honest, there was so much other shit going on in the relationship at that time his "adventure into sexual self awareness" had little impact. Again, it was his repetitive poor judgement in so many things that caused me the greatest angst. Sleep with whomever you choose - just do it wisely.

76. Posted by Herr Bert (Moderator 1384 posts) 8y

Quoting tway

I was wondering if one would miss the "other side" of one's sexuality if you decided to settle down. I still think all sexuality, regardless of orientation, is pretty much the same at the core.

I agree with you, my feeling always has been that sex is a way to share you love with someone, and you always need to 'adapt' (a little) to have good sex. Although if you take a look around in today's society, it seems that everything evolves around sex.

Every person is different, and has different desires. So if you want to please you lover, you have to learn what he/she likes, so in that sense it doesn't matter if you are straight, gay, or bi.

77. Posted by arif_kool (Travel Guru 1757 posts) 8y

I believe that Man by nature is Bisexual.

Such a tendency is explicit in some, suppressed in others and present in fair amount in rest of the individuals. What do u think about this??

78. Posted by james (Travel Guru 4136 posts) 8y

Quoting arif_kool

I believe that Man by nature is Bisexual.

Such a tendency is explicit in some, suppressed in others and present in fair amount in rest of the individuals. What do u think about this??

Nah, I don't believe that.

However, if I was a female I'd be a lesbian

79. Posted by Herr Bert (Moderator 1384 posts) 8y

Quoting arif_kool

I believe that Man by nature is Bisexual.

Such a tendency is explicit in some, suppressed in others and present in fair amount in rest of the individuals. What do u think about this??

I wish ... I think you mean that you see guys that have a feminine side. I don't think that having a feminine side, has a lot to do with being gay or bisexual, because most of those things are conditioned. I think that a lot of things, like emotions are the same in both men and women, but we associate some emotions to women, and some to men.

I think that most people at straight by nature, some are gay, and some are somewhere in the middle of those extremes. We don't live in a black and white world, the world consists of a thousands shades of grey.

If you believe that it is the inside (the soul) of a person is what matters, then you should be bi. If it doesn't matter how somebody looks, then it should also not matter if this person is a woman or a man, on the outside.

80. Posted by opospa (Travel Guru 1836 posts) 8y

Quoting james

Nah, I don't believe that.

However, if I was a female I'd be a lesbian

Oh yea, me as well.....