I am suffering from a bad few years of divorce and then breakdown of relationship. My confidence is all but gone. I intend to travel the world now on my own and nothing will stop me now as I have no good reason to stay. Probably for 6-7 months. I want to know how I will feel in my head once I make the step. I still think about my ex a lot and am struggling to get over her. Will I really struggle or will it heal me. I am genuinley exctited about the thought and then get the jitters. Has anyone made this similiar move? and how did they feel?
Appreciate any advise.
[ Edit: Edited on Feb 12, 2008, at 1:36 PM by Simon1974 ]
Go for it! Your feelings of loving to travel will slowly take over the feelings of heartbreak. Getting up and doing something--especially something that challenges you, gets you meeting new people, introduces you to new things, and brings you confidence--will do wonders. Get out there and enjoy! You'll be glad you did.
I can't talk from experience with what you are going through, but if you are struggling to cope with things at home getting away and exploring the world is a great thing to do. You will meet many great people some of which you will probably remain in contact with after you have travelled and when you come back you will be a whole new person. If you come back anything like I did after a few weeks you will be planning your next few lifetimes worth of adventures and be regretting that you ever came back home. It is the right thing to do and it will certainly get you thinking more about yourself, loving life a lot more rather than constantly thinking about some person that you know you should be trying to get out of your subconcious. Who knows you may meet the woman of your dreams that you will spend the rest of your life with.
Thanks guys, much appreciated. I know deep down I'm doing the right thing. aharold, I'm certainly going to have good stint over in your home country. I was working in Adelaide in November for a few weeks and loved it. Just cant wait, need to sell my house first for the money and then I'm off!
Cheers, all the best.
Will I really struggle or will it heal me. I am genuinley exctited about the thought and then get the jitters. Has anyone made this similiar move? and how did they feel?
I did something very similar in 2003. Had a very bad few years from 1999 through to 2002, including the death of my mother, a series of crappy jobs, health problems and topped off with a completely and totally disasterous relationship breakup.
You will struggle. I kind of felt like once I stepped out of the airport in Santiago, Chile, that all my problems would melt away and I would be better. It's not that quick, unfortunately, and there was more than a few times when I was sitting alone in a restaurant feeling really sorry for myself. But slowly (very slowly) I started to learn a lot about myself.
It is very good to take yourself out of your day to day life. When you are in your home town, seeing the people who are familiar to you, it's very easy to slip back into the same "roles" that you always play. It's hard to change. Being on your own in a completely new place, it's easier to try on different roles, see what fits, see who you want to be.
It also gives you lots of time to think. This can be both good and bad. It's good, because you are forced to confront what's on your mind. But then again, it also means that you need to confront these things - there is no hiding.
The other important thing I learnt while travelling is patience.
Enjoy your trip.
Thanks for your honest opinion Greg, it's nice to hear. I'm sure I will have more than my fair share of dark moments. It's good to see you have survived a time of it too.
if you plan to travel make your self be ready, you have to make sure you want to do this alone, because during your travel you might feel you miss her, and theres a possibility you will wish shes with you and you want to share the experience with her and in the end you will realize you miss her more... so you see the best thing to move on is to accept the fact shes no longer yours, and shes not for you after all. its ok to cry and be sad just take it easy, take it slowly and the next thing you knew you stop thinking about her and it doesn't hurt you anymore. i believe everything happens for a reasons... so don't force your self to move on it will come just hang on. the faster you want to forget the hurt the deepest it cut your heart...
if your planning to go in the Philippines DO NOT take Cebu Pacific Airlines flight..
or you will regret coming at all..
I can speak from similar experience, but from a long time ago.
I was with my boyfriend for a long time and I thought he was the one! Then I found out he was cheating. I was devastated!
It was so difficult as I lived in a small village and saw him (and his new girlfriend) everywhere.
I had been thinking of travelling for a while so I just handed my notice in at work and booked a flight.
It was one of the scariest things I have ever done, but that was 6 years ago now and it was they best thing I have ever done!
I spent 3 months in USA, but I spent a lot of time with my friend, so when I got home I decided I wanted to do it on my own, so 6 months later with some cash in my back pocket I was on a flight to Canada, alone!! I was there for 12 months and it was amazing.
Since then I have spent 3 months in Central America and also spent time in Australia. I am also looking into getting a working holiday visa for New Zealand before the year is over.
I remember running into my ex after I got home, I he saw how happy I was and he could tell that I was so confident and just glowing, then he begged me for forgiveness. I told him where to go!!!
Because of him, travelling is my life, and I wouldn't have it any other way!
Go for it Simon, have a blast, you will meet so many new people, make so many new friends. There will be ups and downs, but you just deal with it!
I remember my brother saying to me that if I ever thought of coming home then I should just know that I am doing something more special than most people can ever dream of. That kept me going!
Thanks a lot. Real nice to hear from people in the same situation as its a very hard thing to do I know. Pleased that you found it was right for you. You seem to have had a real blast. Would be interested to know how you get on with your work in New Zealand.
Stay happy and good luck with your travels. Simon.
[ Edit: Edited on Feb 29, 2008, at 9:13 AM by Simon1974 ]
Have you read Eat, Pray, Love? I'm sure there are plenty of haters on that book here, but I found it downright inspiring. It's about a woman who traveled for a year to heal after a bad divorce.