I wonder if all men agree with the following statements:
2. Learn to work the toilet seat.
You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down.
We need it up, you need it down.
You don't h ear us complaining about you leaving it down.
3. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon
or the changing of the tides.
Let it be.
16. If we ask what is wrong and you say 'nothing,' We will act like nothing's wrong.
We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.
NOW, what is your opnion about the above statements.
I am looking to hear from those curvy girls out there.
Essential Seninars for Men:
1. You Can Do The Housework, Too.
2. Understanding The Female Response To You And Barry Staggering In P*ssed At 4 am.
3. Parenting - Participation Doesn't End With The Events of 9 Months Ago.
4. Get A Life - Learn To Cook.
5. Effective Laundry Techniques (formerly called Don't Wash My Silk Knickers With Your Boiler Suit Again.)
6. You Too Can Learn To Put The Toilet Seat And Lid Down.
7. Sport - Not a Religion. A Game.
Some inside knowledge for you blokes:
What we really mean when we say:
1. Fine: This is the word we use at the end of any argument that we feel we are right about, but need to shut you up. Never use "fine" to describe how a woman looks. this will cause you to have one of those very arguments.
2. Five minutes: This is, in fact, half an hour. It is equivalent to the five minutes that your football game is going to last before you take out the rubbish bin, so it's an even trade.
3. Nothing: This actually means "something" and you should be on your toes. "Nothing" is usually used to describe the feelings a woman has when she doesn't expect that you even want to understand. It is not worth even beginning to tell you what is wrong. "Nothing" usually signifies an argument that will last "Five Minutes" and end up with the word "Fine."
4. Go Ahead (with raised eyebrows): This is a dare. One that will result in a woman getting upset over "Nothing", and will end with the word "Fine."
5. Go Ahead (with normal eyebrows): This means "I give up" or "You do what you want, because I don't care". You will get raised- eyebrows "Go Ahead" in just a few minutes, followed by "Nothing" and a "Fine", and she will talk to you in about "Five Minutes" when she cools off.
I hope that clarifies things for you. Now is there anything else?
Should we begin on "Understanding words like 'sigh' and 'oh' and 'that's ok' and 'please' and 'thanks'?
[ Edit: Edited on Jul 2, 2008, at 12:42 PM by Whistler 2 ]