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Scriptures for Tway

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11. Posted by Wonkerer (Respected Member 592 posts) 8y

Quoting Isadora

The preacher asked her
And she said I do
The preacher asked me
And she said yes he does too
And the preacher said
I pronounce you 99 to life
Son shes no lady shes your wife...

The Gospel according to Lyle Lovett. Hope you haven't invited him to the wedding...

I was just listening to that last night!

And one out of the Old Irish Man Testament:

"No use having a dog and barking yourself."

Not that I'd ever follow that myself

[ Edit: Edited on Jun 26, 2008, at 9:15 PM by Wonkerer ]

12. Posted by Pardus (Respected Member 2356 posts) 8y

Armaments, chapter two, verses nine through twenty-one.

Cleric: And the Lord spake, saying, "First shalt thou take out the Holy Pin. Then shalt thou count to three, no more, no less. Three shall be the number thou shalt count, and the number of the counting shall be three. Four shalt thou not count, neither count thou two, excepting that thou then proceed to three. Five is right out. Once the number three, being the third number, be reached, then lobbest thou thy Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch towards thy foe, who, being naughty in my sight, shall snuff it.

13. Posted by summer910 (Respected Member 1342 posts) 8y

"Thou shalt always make thy husband do the chores"

Does that help?

14. Posted by james (Travel Guru 4136 posts) 8y

Quoting summer910

"Thou shalt always make thy husband do the chores"

Does that help?

Depends if the reward is sex.

If it is, then yes it does help

15. Posted by mikeyBoab (Travel Guru 5077 posts) 8y

In the immortal words of Ogden Nash:

"To keep your marriage brimming, with love in the loving cup,
Whenever you're wrong, admit it. Whenever you're right, shut up."

16. Posted by tway (Travel Guru 7273 posts) 8y

Wisdom and hand grenades. This is going to be some wedding.

17. Posted by Isadora (Travel Guru 13926 posts) 8y

Quoting tway

Wisdom and hand grenades. This is going to be some wedding.

Now you see the advnatage of those parking lot seats. (Besides just being the smoking section.)

18. Posted by beerman (Respected Member 1631 posts) 8y

OK OK...enough silliness....time to get seriousness about all thisness

Father O'Flaherty to Tina: Do you promise to love, honor, cook for, clean up after, surrender your share of the blanket to, live with the flatulence of, relinquish the remote to, and live with the toilet seat up until death do you part?

Father O'Flaherty to Neal: You have the right to remain silent, anything you say may be held against you, and you have the right to have an attorney present. You may kiss the bride.

Meanwhile, the organist breaks into a montage of songs from Paul McCartney's first band, the Meatles.

C'mon....doesn't this just bring a tear to your eye? Either eye......

19. Posted by Hien (Moderator 3906 posts) 8y

Quoting beerman

OK OK...enough silliness....time to get seriousness about all thisness

Father O'Flaherty to Tina: Do you promise to love, honor, cook for, clean up after, surrender your share of the blanket to, live with the flatulence of, relinquish the remote to, and live with the toilet seat up until death do you part?

Father O'Flaherty to Neal: You have the right to remain silent, anything you say may be held against you, and you have the right to have an attorney present. You may kiss the bride.

Meanwhile, the organist breaks into a montage of songs from Paul McCartney's first band, the Meatles.

C'mon....doesn't this just bring a tear to your eye? Either eye......

20. Posted by tway (Travel Guru 7273 posts) 8y

Quoting beerman

Meanwhile, the organist breaks into a montage of songs from Paul McCartney's first band, the Meatles.

Ah, yes. Didn't they sing I am the Walrus Burger, The Long and Winding Weinerschnitzel, and Rocky Raccoon on a spit with BBQ Sauce...?