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121. Posted by Isadora (Travel Guru 13926 posts) 8y

...his back pocket? He knew he'd stuck his wallet in that pocket before leaving the house but now it was gone and a little scrap of paper had been left in it's place. As he read the note in horror, his mind raced through every possible scenario - none ending well. Someone had stolen his pet rabbit and Bugsy was now being held for ransom. The note began:

Dear Rupert,

Your little furball with the very floppy ears is still alive. For now. Follow these...

122. Posted by Piecar (Travel Guru 894 posts) 8y

....flying monkeys. They scared me much more than the WWW and I never had any issue with the Scary Wizard Face...But those flying monkeys, now they were freaky. Used to be that Wizard of Oz was on like once a month...It's too bad that all you get now is fricking Gossip Girl and...


123. Posted by Isadora (Travel Guru 13926 posts) 8y

...the hiccups. Roland thought that 25 years of non-stop hiccups would be enough to get him into the Guinness Book of World Records but he was sorely mistaken. When he read the reply letter he was informed substantiation of his claim was necessary and that Bernhard Dickindorfferbackenstein of Bavaria had been hiccuping for 32 years. It was a terrible blow to Roland's ego. There would be no world record for him, no party celebrating his induction into the World Records Book, no one to congratulate him or pat him on the back for persistent hiccuping. All he had was a piece of paper telling him he was a failure. Roland was just an ordinary...

124. Posted by Piecar (Travel Guru 894 posts) 7y

And when the world is on its knees with me its fine
And when I come to the rescue I get nothing but left behind
Everybody seems to be getting what they need with mine
�Cause your what I need so very but im anything but ordinary

Can you save me from this world of mine
Before I get myself arrested with this expectation
You are the one look what you've done
What have you done?
This is not some kind of joke
You�re just a kid
You weren't ready for what you did

And when the world is on its knees with me its fine
And when I come to the rescue I do it for you time after time
Everybody seems to be getting what they need with mine
�Cause you what I need so very but im anything but ordinary

I think im trying to save the world from....

(preceding lyrics from the band TRAIN)

125. Posted by Isadora (Travel Guru 13926 posts) 7y time. Vernon was sure he had all of his receipts in the shoe box but the not-so-nice tax person at H & R Block was rude to him. The not-so-nice guy wanted them organized. Wasn't it enough that Vernon had saved all of his receipts from the past 43.2 years? Seriously, it had taken him that long to build up the nerve to file a tax return. What more did the not-so-nice guy want?! This was a big step for Vernon but no one seemed...

126. Posted by Piecar (Travel Guru 894 posts) 7y a good idea at the time." She shrugged. I nodded, bemused. We both looked around for a moment, trying to think of what should happen next. Beside us, the car steamed. There was some strange, but quiet, mechanical coughing sounds coming from somewhere inside it. The driver's side airbag slowly deflated.
I did a silent inventory of my body. Nothing seemed to be broken. I got to my feet. She looked up at me. In my opinion, right then she seemed a little embarrassed but basically unrepentant. There was a barely concealed satisfied smile touching her lips. I had a flash of anger, and raised my finger to start in....and was somehow able to squash the feeling. My hand dropped to my side. It was a little funny
She got up and stood beside me. We looked at the car. We looked up at the cliff, the top well above us. She put a conspiratorial arm on my shoulder and leaned in with a grin.

"Well, on the upside," she said lightly, "We've just proved that the end of Thelma and Louise could have been....."


there you go, Gretch

127. Posted by Isadora (Travel Guru 13926 posts) 7y

...a complete hoax. This was to be real magic - the poster said so - not just some slight-of-hand-rabbit-out-of-the-hat show. Where was the disappearing tiger, the levitating elephant, the two-bit-looking-like-a-hooker-at-Mardi-Gras type assistant being sawed in half? If Buck wanted to see illusions he would have gone to the poker game instead of letting Flo talk him into attending this theatrical farce. "Ah, poker", he thought to himself. A nice civilized game where only the tinhorns try to pull that 5th ace out of their sleeve. He could see it now... All the boys pourin' down Lone Stars and smokin' cigars. He could have been in the thick of it all with a nice wad of cash sitting in front of him, but no... He was here. Sitting next to Flo and awaiting the next parlor trick.

Suddenly, Buck opened his eyes from what he thought was just a quick daydream. There he was, chained, shackled, locked and upside down in a large glass tank of water. People were staring in at him. He was staring out at them. What was he to do? How would he ever get out of...

(ps: D, you're the only other one to call me Gretch in a very long time. Talked with an old friend recently, after an almost 20 year absence, and he called me Gretch too. Made me giggle. Not a bad thing, just haven't heard it since the last time my dad called me that in 1993. Off to giggle some more as I kinda miss being called by that nickname.) ;)

128. Posted by Araluen (Respected Member 346 posts) 7y

... the cupboard crawled a nasty looking little cockroach. its feelers moving while it...

129. Posted by Piecar (Travel Guru 894 posts) 7y

...seemed like it may very well rain. Lissie checked the sky underneath the brim of her great sunhat. Indeed, the clouds were gathering, but she felt she had time. She continued to lay out her crustless sandwiches and her apple slices.

Gordon had waded into the stream, having taken off his sportcoat. He cast his fishing pole. It seemed not a minute before a trout took the....

(that is the FEYEST Non Sequitur I have ever typed.)


130. Posted by Isadora (Travel Guru 13926 posts) 7y

Quoting Piecar

(that is the FEYEST Non Sequitur I have ever typed.)


I expected Lissie and Gordon to be hunting for Easter eggs.

...test tubes out of the centrifuge. "How am I to find a cure for erectile dysfunction - oh sorry, forgot it had an acronym now - for E.D., clone Borat's nose since he lost his in that horrible drive-by right cross-left jab combo incident last week on Rodeo Drive, design a new communications satellite for launch tomorrow, make the saltine cracker "tastier", reverse global warming retro-actively and still make my nail appointment at 3:00?", Hilda said to herself out loud. "No one understands how long a good manicure...

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