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Non Sequitur

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141. Posted by Redpaddy (Inactive 1004 posts) 7y

"I think I've had a little accident. It's just all the excitement in such a short space of time - back in a few minutes. By the way, are you aware that meat is....

142. Posted by Isadora (Travel Guru 13926 posts) 7y

...worth it's weight in gold. Okay, it was gold so Rufus figured his deduction was right on the mark. He's been panning this river for 37 years and this is the first nugget he'd found. Yes, there'd been silver or rose quartz or emeralds or sapphires or topaz or amethyst or aquamarine or garnets - but never had Rufus found actual gold. He kept poking himself in the forehead to make sure he wasn't dreaming. The thought that gold could be found here invigorated him as it had never done before. He was a man crazed. He spent the next week building a bigger and better sluiceway, improving his living space (meaning he upgraded to a cabin from a canvas tent), put in a jacuzzi, ordered a box of Omaha steaks and then went back to work. Little did Rufus realize, his tiny nugget's value was...

143. Posted by Piecar (Travel Guru 894 posts) 7y funny that I fell off my chair! I was living in a rooming house with a bunch of other foreign workers. Two Spanish, Two Japanese, a Frenchman, and me. Captain Canucklehead. We were all cordial but aloof...We cooked meals together, but always ate them in our respective rooms.

So it was strange for them to hear me belly laughing in my little quarto by myself. I had put the head phones on so no one had to be bothered. But "Whose Line Is It Anyways" almost makes me vomit, I am laughing so hard!!! I don't laugh at sitcoms or RomComs, but that show? Fuggeddabuttit!!!

So, it came, that one day, the Colombian knocked......


[ Edit: Edited on 09-Jun-2009, at 18:46 by Piecar ]

144. Posted by Redpaddy (Inactive 1004 posts) 7y

.... The Arabica off the number one top spot as the best coffee beans money can buy.
However - when I went into town to restock my dwindling supplies, no sooner had I tied up my ass and walked into the store, I was knocked to the floor with endless shock that all I found available was shelves full of nothing but....

145. Posted by Piecar (Travel Guru 894 posts) 7y

.....gophers! Steve stood there with his backpack against his knee and watched them run to and fro across the fields and the road, and every other damn thing.

The things were clearly two things..Curious, and Stupid. Curious, because they often ran right up to him and his old pack to see what they were, and stupid, because they kept running across the road, often over the freshly squished bodies of the gophers that went before them.

Down the road, Steve could see the shimmering beginnings of a pickup coming over the rise...He prepared his innocuous, "I Won't Kill You" smile and his "I'm Interesting" stance. Looking down at his bag to make sure the Canuck flag was postioned right, he stuck out his thumb.

The pickup was swerving all over the road!!! Not in a drunk way, but in a murderous way. The driver was aiming for every gopher he could spy. It was horrific carnage! Steve considered dropping his thumb when he saw one little gopher get......

146. Posted by Isadora (Travel Guru 13926 posts) 7y

..."the hell out of my office!!!" How often was Betty to endure the constant "Hey Betty Boob, what have you got for us today?" or the "Hey, Betty Boob, would you sing Minnie the Moocher for us?" Oh, how those comments made her blood boil. It wasn't her fault that she was the spitting image of Betty Boop and had the gazoongas to prove it. She'd give anything not to look like a cartoon character from the 1930s. She could sympathize to Jessica Rabbit, who had to explain "You don't know how hard it is being a woman looking the way I do. I'm not bad. I'm just drawn that way." Well, Betty was born this way and not a damn thing she could do about it. She couldn't even blame it on the illustrators.

Her parents were normal in every way. They tried very hard to convince her that she was no different than any other kid on the block though Betty knew differently. From the day she was born, she was fully stacked and wearing lipstick. By age two, she had the pouty lip thing down and was singing torch songs. By age five, she was performing on stage. But, then came the downfall of vaudeville and she had to get a "real" job. The only place that would hire her was Sleazy Joe's Private Investigations and Pizza Palace. The pay was shit and she had to put up with jerks - not the soda variety either. When she wasn't handing out assignments to the PIs, she was taking pizza orders. Most days, she was making and delivering said pizzas too.

"I need to find a new job!" she thought to herself. "One more...

147. Posted by Redpaddy (Inactive 1004 posts) 7y

.... I must get up out of the gutter and clean up this mess I made, since laying down here last night.
There was a man on the other side of the road wearing an a-board that read 'Jobs available, ask me now.' What an opportunity to actually be starting the day on the right foot. I asked him where I should go and he said 'Follow me'. We walked for over an hour in the snow until we reached a little red....

148. Posted by Isadora (Travel Guru 13926 posts) 7y robin goes bob bob bobbin' along..." As Jeffery sat on the limb of the maple tree, he wondered why his kind were the subject of so many references. There were songs, such as the one he'd just heard coming from the Aldridge family's window. There was the term "cock robin" and people named Robin Williams and Robin Leach. Now that was a bad choice for names. Robins are not leaches. Okay, robins like the occasional leach for breakfast but they tend to stick to the roof of your beak. There's also Kermit the Frog's nephew, Robin, who used to sing songs on the Muppet Show. Oh, and let's not forget the great crime-fighting duo of Batman and ROBIN!!! They was Jeffery's favorite because ROBIN was a super hero - after Batman, of course.

The more he sat on that maple tree limb and thought about it, the more he liked being...

149. Posted by Piecar (Travel Guru 894 posts) 7y

...a little off. She'd looked at it for many days. Chris was home less and less with his work, and this Victorian home was about the creepiest she'd ever lived in. She had made every effort to bring a living energy to it. She could feel, strongly, that the building was fighting her on it.

But Clara, just now six, was somehow gaining ground. Spaces where she explored in the giant place, somehow carried her mark. They were brighter somehow. A crayon scrawl, a bunch of toys. The house seemed to like her.

Carol had considered this for a few days. She was a Mid Western woman. Practical. She considered herself free of flights of fancy...But she, for the first time in her life(she lied to herself) felt another force at work in this home. The game was not resolved....but there was a definite competition going on in this.......


150. Posted by Piecar (Travel Guru 894 posts) 7y Damn, I thought to myself, my luck is changing!

Missed bus, lost passport, ant attack at the hotel, ripped off by the guide....alll of this disappeared. Consuela's beautiful face leaned in for another kiss, and Honduras was beautiful again. I could feel that stupid 14-years-old grin return to my face after a long long LOONNNG time. And I met her mouth with mine.

This was travelling! This was the adventure! Thank Shiva Set and Thor. Finally I was living the life.

Suddenly, Consuela pulled away from my mouth. Her face was stricken. "Mierda!" she said, and then looked at me pityingly.

I craned my neck around slowly. A compact but muscled Latino was shoving through the bar crowd. Worse, they were quickly moving out of his way.

My grin disappeared. Replaced by a bemused squint. "Yep. Figures" I said under my breath.

Consuela was moving past me, hands up. But MuscleBoy wasn't looking at her. His eyes were locked on mine.

I stood, and said..........