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A special set of rules for men

Travel Forums Off Topic A special set of rules for men

1. Posted by Araluen (Respected Member 346 posts) 8y

1. The Female always makes The Rules.

2. The Rules are subject to change at any time without prior notification.

3. No Male can possible know all The Rules.

4. If the Female suspects the Male is making some sense of The Rules, she will immediately change some or all of The Rules.

5. The Female is never wrong.

6. If the Female says or does something that could be interpreted as being wrong, it is because of a flagrant misunderstanding which was a direct result of something the Male did or said wrong.

7. If Rule 6 applies, the Male must apologise immediately for causing the misunderstanding.

8. The Female can change her mind ar any given point in time.

9. The Male must never change his mind without express written consent from the Female.

10. The Female has every right to be angry or upset at any time.

11. The Male must remain calm at all times, unless the Female wants him to be angry or upset.

12. The Female must under no circumstances let the Male know whether or not she wants him to be angry or upset.

13. The Male is expected to mind read at all times.

14. The Male who doesn't abide by The Rules, obviously can't take the heat, lacks a backbone, and is a wimp.

15. It is the job of The Female to regularly remind the Male that he obviously can't take the heat, lacks a backbone, and is a wimp.

16. Any attempt by the Male to document The Rules could result in bodily harm.

17. At no time can the Male make such comments as "Insignificant" and "Is that all?" when the Female is complaining.

SPECIAL RULE: If the Female has PMS, all Rules are null and void.....

2. Posted by tway (Travel Guru 7273 posts) 8y

Ha!

The men would have had a set of rules, too, but they couldn't stop thinking of sex long enough to write them down. ;)

[ Edit: Edited on Jul 2, 2008, at 3:48 PM by tway ]

3. Posted by james (Travel Guru 4136 posts) 8y

Quoting tway

Ha!

The men would have had a set of rules, too, but they couldn't stop thinking of sex long enough to write them down. ;)

What a load of sexist, generalist, stereotypical claptrap. I expected better of you and I'm truly offended.

For your information, here are the rules.

Rule 1. the male is allowed to think about sex at any time
Rule 2. ...???

Okay, I've forgotten rule 2. But now we're on the topic of sex, I do remember that incident all those years ago with this gorgeous girl I'd met and her younger sister. We were ......

4. Posted by Araluen (Respected Member 346 posts) 8y

Quoting james

Quoting tway

Ha!

The men would have had a set of rules, too, but they couldn't stop thinking of sex long enough to write them down. ;)

What a load of sexist, generalist, stereotypical claptrap. I expected better of you and I'm truly offended.

For your information, here are the rules.

Rule 1. the male is allowed to think about sex at any time
Rule 2. ...???

Okay, I've forgotten rule 2. But now we're on the topic of sex, I do remember that incident all those years ago with this gorgeous girl I'd met and her younger sister. We were ......

Re: Rule 1:- “God gave us a penis and a brain, but not enough blood to use both at the same time.” – Robin Williams........ok nuff said

So a set of rules...........hmm...(honestly sigh)

10 rules that Blokes Wish Women Knew:
1. Never cut your haor. It only causes arguments when I comment on it.

2. Wear anything you want. It's fine. Really.

3. If you want some dessert after a meal, please order some. You don't have to finish it. I order mine becauses I would like to eat it myself.

4. Shopping is not a sport to me. Please don't make me go.

5. What makes you think I'd be any good at choosing which, out of thirty-seven pairs of shoes, would look good with that dress? Most blokes only own two or three pairs of shoes, some of which actually match.

6. I'm sure you have plenty to catch up with that school chum from 20 years ago that we have just met right here in the fish market, but it's been two hours now...

7. P*ssing standing standing up is more difficult than p*ssing from point blank range. We're bound to miss sometimes.

8. They're called foreign films because that is what they are. Foreign films are best left to fereigners.

9. Please learn to check your oil. that's the long stick thing you pull it out. Oil is an essential part of the car.

10. The male models with the great bodies you see in magazines are all gay.

And (You can check Wiki)

Q. What do bullet-proof vests, fire escapes, windshield wipers and laser printers all have in common?
A. All invented by women.

5. Posted by Wonkerer (Respected Member 592 posts) 8y

And btw James, you forgot to mention the sister's car!

6. Posted by Isadora (Travel Guru 13926 posts) 8y

Quoting Wonkerer

And btw James, you forgot to mention the sister's car!

James didn't get that far. Actually, it was just a dream. James dreams a lot. Keep dreaming, James. One day they may come true. (But by then, you'll be too old to care and you're kids will have put you in the home. Lots of time to dream there.)

7. Posted by tway (Travel Guru 7273 posts) 8y

I did see someone who looked suspiciously like James putting lipstick on an old Ford Pinto the other day. I think he said "Pucker up, baby" but it might have been the wind.