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21. Posted by Isadora (Travel Guru 13926 posts) 8y

Quoting chayisun

Really, now, do you think I actually would keep a pair of uncomfortable shoes on?

No more cookies left.....I gotta book a trip to Tunis....

See!! I knew you had to take them off at the security gate! (You never answered my original question.) By the way, what color are they? (Leather does not denote a color. Are they blue suede shoes? Maybe something in a tasteful hot pink? Do they match the flying rugs?) Rub some of that lamp oil on them to help break them in. That or they will make great (expensive) kindling for the fire so we can make tea.

Be sure to bring enough cookies back for the class as it would be unfair otherwise. When it comes to the tea, know how to make tea the Tunisian way - do you prefer black or mint?

"Is that a pink fluffy slipper?"

"No, It's not a pink fluffy slipper. It's my attack dog, Fifi!"

"Grrrrrrrrrrr"

"Do you have papers for Fluffy?"

"She's housebroken."

"Grrrrrrrrrrr"

"Alright sir, your dog has made your point. Please proceed to the gate but leave the crutch."

22. Posted by chayisun (Budding Member 163 posts) 8y

"Is that a pink fluffy slipper?"

"No, It's not a pink fluffy slipper. It's my attack dog, Fifi!"

"Grrrrrrrrrrr"

"Do you have papers for Fluffy?"

"She's housebroken."

"Grrrrrrrrrrr"

"Well, Sir, I notice Fifi, your attack dog, has no shoes."

"Yer kiddin.."

"Sir, Fifi will have to ride in..coach..."

When I got on the plane I removed my very expensive, black leather shoes. I was afraid to remove them before I got on because, if THEY saw this THEY probably would have put us in.....COACH....With all the, you know...OTHERS.....

I would tell you that the Flight Attendant asked me to put them back on, being in Business Class, but someone might believe me and away we would go again.....Big Sigh, here.....

Anyway, the cookies are all gone and I feel SOOOOO good.....I think they were made with something other than cookie stuff.....As for the tea, well, I like Oolong tea, which I stir with a chopstick.

Attack dog, Fifi.....Pink....I'm sorry but the picture of such an animal just caused me to spill my martini. Such a waste.

23. Posted by bwiiian (Travel Guru 768 posts) 8y

By the way crutch as you probably know, also means the cock region (although spelt crotch, but thats just splitting hairs), and so i read the post as if you were saying you can't come onto the plane if you have a cock as you may be jealous of the huge cucumber and use your cock as a weapon to hit someone in the face.

It made it quite amusing for me.

By the way, what is it with rug shops in Tunisia? I love Tunisa, I also quite like rugs but i wouldnt buy one in tunisia. They would never let me on the plane with a cock AND a rug!!

24. Posted by Isadora (Travel Guru 13926 posts) 8y

NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! There will be no wasting martinis on this flight even if they are being drunk (from expensive black leather shoes bought just for the occasion) in business class!!!!!!! Good vodka is at a premium these days. If it was a gin martini then it's okay as I don't like gin. (Harkens back to a wayward youth when brownies, not Tunis cookies, were in fashion. But that's another story involving gin, no mixer, no brownies, no cookies and riding a horse - which is not a euphemism for anything other than the four-legged, head, tail, whinnying animal that walks, trots, canters and gallops.)

"Sir, Is that a chicken you're carrying?"

"No, this is my cock. Isn't he a beaut?"

"Sir, I'm sorry but you can't have a live chicken in business class. It's not wearing the appropriate shoes."

"I have him wrapped up in this lovely Tunisian rug. How do you know he doesn't have proper footwear? Are you Superman in disguise?"

"Sir, rules are rules. The chicken will have to sit in coach along with the rug. Rugs aren't allowed either. You may just smother the passenger next to you with it. Rugs are lethal weapons. Oh, and I'm Wonder Woman in disquise. Don't you recognise me?"

"Hmmm, you do resemble Linda Carter a bit... My, you sure have aged since leaving TV. Now, about my cock..."

"Sir, you have just been upgraded once again. Your seat are 102E. Your cock, on the other hand, has seat 1A. Enjoy your flight. Oh, and take that cucumber out of your pants. You're not allowed to make your own sandwiches on the plane. Have a nice day!"

25. Posted by chayisun (Budding Member 163 posts) 8y

I have just spilled my coffee, my plate of watermelon and ANOTHER martini!

That is funny! I will not comment about the something in hand....or the horsey.....

As for me, my Wife is staring at the watermelon on the floor, on our used to be white carpet....She thinks I have had a fit, or possibly lost my mind.

As for the comment about smothering a seat mate, I was on a trip once when the guy beside me got angry because his computer stopped working. He blamed the airline, the Flight Attendant, the government, the FBI and terrorists.

He was REALLY upset! I asked him if he lost anything important....He stared at me and, in a very icy reply, told me he had ALMOST beaten FREE CELL!

I asked the Flight Attendant if I could move to another seat. Not because this guy was an idiot but because I might have done something violent....like, maybe yell at him...Wow....

26. Posted by Isadora (Travel Guru 13926 posts) 8y

Okay, what is it with people and white carpeting?? Watermelon and white carpeting do not mix. Watermelon stains. Okay, maybe not today's watermelon as it's basically colorless, tasteless crunchy stuff in the center of a big green shell. But, the seeds tend to stick in the pile, making it appear as though a herd of hungry watermelon-deprived ants have launched an invasion. Carpeting should be multi-colored just for such occasions. White carpeting is used to dissuade anyone from visiting in fear they may leave a stain of some sort or another. Oooohhh, now I get it!!!! (Note to self - order white carpeting post haste!!!) (Wait, second note to self - 6 cats, no such thing as white cat food so no such thing as white hairballs - cancel carpet order post haste!!)

You have forgotten that Free Cell is actually a training exercise for the super secret international spies of the world. I would elaborate but I have martinis to pour. Think I'll skip the watermelon. Now, a nice white nectarine won't stain...

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