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1. Posted by chayisun (Budding Member 163 posts) 8y

I just finished mowing the lawn..it is a BIG lawn....And it takes about an hour and a half to cut it..

To-day a tragedy occurred while cutting grass.

I went into the house to report the accident......

"Hey, Sue...I have something to tell you."

"What is it?"

"I finished the lawn...Ya know, it seems to get larger everytime..."

"OK...What happened.."

Sue is so observant.

"Well, I think I killed a frog."

"You THINK you killed a frog?"

"Ok...I killed a frog..."

"How in the world did you do THAT?"

"I was, as you know, cutting the lawn and..I didn't see it....Well, I did, but it was too late. I ran over it..."

"How could you?"

"Whataya mean, how could I ? The frog was on the lawn..I was cutting the lawn...He was there...I came along..Bingo...Dead frog. I mean, it could have moved."

"That's awful."

"I would assume it didn't know what hit it. Anyway it didn't say anything....It just, you know....Disappeared..."

"Did you look to see if it was dead? "

"Sue, I ran over it with a lawn mower....Nothing left to see..It's dead...Gone. It croaked."

"It croaked...That's all you can say?"

"You want me to say a prayer?"

"No...Not again! Just next time, be careful.......You're going to scare away ALL the animals."

Sue suggested I attach a little horn to the front of the lawn mower to warn the creatures I am on the way.....I mean, if they can't hear a lawn mower...

2. Posted by Hien (Moderator 3906 posts) 8y

Quoting chayisun

Sue suggested I attach a little horn to the front of the lawn mower to warn the creatures I am on the way.....I mean, if they can't hear a lawn mower...

3. Posted by tway (Travel Guru 7273 posts) 8y

Hee hee! You seem to have a lot of animal problems around your place. Reminds me of a conversation my friend and her boyfriend once had in the car when we were speeding off in the early morning cause we were very, very late for a competition.

B/F: "Slow down! You're going to--"

THUMP

"You hit a bird!"

"Stupid bird should have gotten out of the way!"

"You could have paused a little!"

"What am I supposed to do, cause an accident to save a bird with no sense of direction??"

"All you had to do was slow down and--"

THUMP!

And no one said a word the rest of the way.

4. Posted by Isadora (Travel Guru 13926 posts) 8y

Okay, both stories are really very funny!!!

But, once again, being the (partially) observant person that I am... I seem to recall Chayisun commenting (somewhere) about living in a condo while still able to travel and then buying a house... It begs the question (again, once again) who's lawn are you really mowing? Since I think you are (possibly) our next door neighbor with the groundhogs, raccoons and frogs - my lawn is not mowed... Neither is my neighbor's.

Anyway, are my groundhogs visiting your house because you feed them cards? Is this why my pet frog (pluck your magic twanger, Froggy), has not returned home in a timely manner? Is there any way you could see fit in having Sue bury a few more coons in the mosquito-infested woods for us? Have you recently inherited a new member to your animal kingdom - one very cute black and white fluffball with 4 little fluffballs following behind her who don't smell all that pleasant? We named her Flower. Just in case she shows up on your doorstep.

5. Posted by chayisun (Budding Member 163 posts) 8y

This took place before we sold the house. It seems just like yesterday when I buried the raccoon and killed the frog. And then there was the mouse.....

Yep, those were the good old days.

As to the black and white fluffball...I was backing our car out of the driveway, the other day....

Tway, our daughter did the same thing. Hit a bird. Feathers on the rad. She was really upset that she had killed a bird. I told her it was OK, not to feel too bad, there wasn't a dent on the car.....She wasn't amused...

6. Posted by Hien (Moderator 3906 posts) 8y

Quoting chayisun

Tway, our daughter did the same thing. Hit a bird. Feathers on the rad. She was really upset that she had killed a bird. I told her it was OK, not to feel too bad, there wasn't a dent on the car.....She wasn't amused...

A dent from hitting a bird? What bird was that? A Big Bird?

7. Posted by Herr Bert (Moderator 1384 posts) 8y

"Oh my god they killed Kermit ... you bastards !!!"

8. Posted by angela_ (Respected Member 1732 posts) 8y

A friend of mine hit a flying goose.... Well, of course, when she tells the story the goose flew into her car.. It left a huge dent in her car!

9. Posted by chayisun (Budding Member 163 posts) 8y

She hit a turkey vulture....We had it for dinner. Very tasty but a bit tough to chew.

It may very well have been Kermit. I couldn't find any identification..Actually, I couldn't find ANYTHING.....I felt really bad about it at the time, as I can remember how Ms. Piggy used to treat him. Never liked Ms. Piggy....

Anyway, I mean, he never seemed to get a break. However, things seemd to be improving for Kermit.

I think it may have been him out on the lawn, singing....

Greetings! Kermit the Frog here, and today I'd like to tell you a little bit about the color green. Do you know what's green? [cue music] Well I am for one thing. You see, frogs are green, and I'm a frog. And that means I'm green, you see?]

It's not easy bein' green
It seems you blend in with so many other ordinary things
Like grass...
And people tend to pass you over 'cause you're
Not standing out like flashy sparkles in the water
Or stars in the sky...

Wonder what that noise is?
Why, I believe it's a lawn mower....Wait a sec!
HOLD ON!!! That's ME in the grass...I'M GREEN....OH @#$%$$#

10. Posted by Isadora (Travel Guru 13926 posts) 8y

Quoting chayisun

Wonder what that noise is?
Why, I believe it's a lawn mower....Wait a sec!
HOLD ON!!! That's ME in the grass...I'M GREEN....OH @#$%$$#

And then you question Sue's request for a horn on the mower. (Like it would do any good - they wouldn't hear it over the blade going a zillion rpms anyway...) Beerman has just started up the mower and I hope he doesn't hit anything living. I take that back - he can run over all the raccoons he wants. (I'm really, really angry with them today. )

Hitting a turkey vulture?? Wow! No wonder it was surprising there were no dents in the car. They're the size of Mac trucks! Two of them decided to challenge me on who had the right while driving down our road recently. They temporarily won until I got out of the car and pretended to be a much bigger bird. They thought I wanted their road-kill rabbit. Sorry, I like rabbit but wasn't that hungry at the moment.

I accidentally hit a poor little garter snake young'en one day with the weed whacker (whipper snapper in T's mom's terms) and divided him in half. I quickly found out that they are not like earthworms and do not regenerate. Well, I knew that already but was hoping for a miracle. Maybe I should have said a prayer. I just couldn't think of an appropriate enough one at the moment. I did bury it by the tulips since (I think) that's where he/she lived.

We have wild turkeys walk through our yard once in awhile. One year, a mom and gaggle of kids liked perching in the trees and start gobbling at 5am. It was fun watching the cats decide the turkeys were fair game. It took about 2 seconds for them to realize the thing 4 times their size was not a food source. We also have a white-tailed buck and two girlfriends who like cruising through. He used to eat the birdseed out of the feeder hanging in the tree.

Oh shit! I just heard a squeal! I hope Beerman didn't run over Miss Piggy! That's gonna be a messy clean-up if he did...