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Is it normal for family to be against you travelling?

Travel Forums General Talk Is it normal for family to be against you travelling?

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21. Posted by jaxstar84 (Respected Member 415 posts) 9y Star this if you like it!

yeah theyre pretty good! i didnt expect that reaction from them, esp when my "small trauma" was only breaking up with a bf lol i ended up staying in holland but still... my olds are pretty sweet

22. Posted by here4life (Budding Member 9 posts) 9y Star this if you like it!

Quoting sweetnessp

Hi! At first my mum reacted in a really similar way. After talking to her I discovered that she was scared for my safety, because of all the media coverage of the very small amount of accidents and tragedies that happen to backpackers. She was also sad because it meant I was growing up, and I also think she was a little bit envious.

Now she fully supports me. All it took was for us to have a discussion in which we both shared our points of view. Would this work with your Dad and Sister?

I am not sure, it could. Maybe if I ask slowly.

23. Posted by Carly Ann (Budding Member 4 posts) 9y Star this if you like it!

My family is very supportive each time I travel. They even help me pack my things! My dad also bought me a new camera since the one I bought gave not-so-good results (translate: cheaper! haha...). I guess they're fine with it since they travel a lot, too.

24. Posted by freeair (First Time Poster 1 posts) 9y Star this if you like it!

maybe it's normal for them to worry but you need to explain it also your part

25. Posted by bex76 (Moderator 3864 posts) 9y Star this if you like it!

I think as our parents' generation didn't have the travelling options that we have now it's more of an alien concept to them and therefore it's a fear of the unknown to a large extent. My family aren't against me travelling but my dad always says "I don't understand why you want to go to these places", about most of the places I visit! When I went to the Middle East recently I am sure he was utterly convinced that I was going to meet some terrible fate!

26. Posted by Manga4Me (First Time Poster 1 posts) 9y Star this if you like it!

Hello here4life,

I was moved to respond but as I look at all the great responses, it seems that all my points were pretty much mentioned. I traveled on a small scale when I was younger & then last year I took 6 months to RTW (predominately Asia). I planned & saved for about 3 years; in that time I heard everything from fantastic to are you crazy to you lucky b*tch to .... you get the idea. Though I was 41, some of my family were really worried (especially after all the horrific news in the world today). One of my aunt's said she just didn't understand - traveling to her mail box for plenty for her. Other people were concerned about my quitting work to go on this trip.

Much of the travelling community is geared towards the young, though that is changing. The most important thing is to research where you want to go, what you want to do, save your money, USE your commonsense, find dependable contacts around the world who have been the places you want to go, etc.

Prior to my trip, I took a 20 hr/10wk self defense class that helped me be more aware, I studied the basics (hello, thank you, etc) of languages, wrote lists of places to see, researched a multitude of hours (RTW - star alliance, one world,,, joined sites like travellerspoint/journeywoman/bootsnall planned what was needed on the trip, joined Servas/International Youth Hostel/ & joined pen pal sites like butterfly friends/world friends/myspace & put an ad in Japan guide.

The latter part gave me some wonderful people to meet along the way, including my fiance.

Like everyone says - I do not know your family dynamics nor your personal situation but the more research/planning you put into this trip - the better off you are. Dream big but have realistic expectations (plan to be bored waiting in lines/airports & decide what you will do in those circumstances, it is not all fun & games - decide to live the WHOLE experience). Learn to listen to your instincts - if something seems off - listen - if it seems right - listen.

If it helps, as a solo female traveling for 6 months - I did not get robbed and I only had one truly scary situation that worked out. After years in a job that made me very cynical, my faith in mankind was rekindled. There ARE wonderful, caring people in the them with a smile, consideration & awareness.

Good luck with your life & travel choices.


27. Posted by kinethomas (Full Member 6 posts) 9y Star this if you like it!

I think concerned parents are a very usual phenomenon when it comes to their children traveling for the first time, as many have already discussed here. It was the same the first time me and my then boyfriend, now husband decided to travel. I had just finished my Bachelors degree and in many peoples' opinion (especially my father's and my in laws') traveling for a year wasn't the best idea. Finding a good job was the way to go!

They had many arguments, many of them perceived by us as silly etc.. Many of them didn't really think that we would go, and definitely not that we would stay away for the whole 12 months that we said we would, but boy did we prove them wrong.. :)

A lot of the problem was that they didn't know what the type of trip we were going on was all about. We went on a Working Holiday to Australia, and then spent seven weeks traveling New Zealand, Fiji and California. Our parents were more the package trip kind, and backpacking wasn't anything they knew much about. My mum was a bit better, mainly because she had been to Australia with work and therefore knew more about the place we were going.

We were very persistent, and did end up going and having a blast!! Our relatives also realized that traveling was something we enjoyed, and that we also benefited greatly from it.

I think many people (not just parents!) feel that traveling is not worthwhile. It's not as sensible as finding a good job, buying a house, having a kid etc etc. But in my opinion, traveling is one of the best ways of growing up and learning about yourself and the world. You also end up learning to speak another language, which in my case consisted of going from "school girl level" to fluent in English.

You can always find that job, buy that house and have a kid later on. Being just 21 as here4life, I would say that he has all the time in the world.

28. Posted by patience (Full Member 118 posts) 9y Star this if you like it!

i was made redundant and was out of work in london for 8 months. i was over qualified, under qualified etc... really depessed

i got a job though which i didnt want to do and 5 months later i made enough to leave. i went to australia and travelled and worked their for a few months. my family were against it. my mum said i was making a mistake. even got compared to an uncle who is a drug addict and living on benefits because he went travelling years ago. made me feel great. i had no support.

anyway i came back a new man, am now in a £30k a year job in the city, will go away again and maybe even get transfered as i work for a huge global company.

why have all these good things happened to me and what made me stand out over all the other people that went for the same job?

because i went travelling and worked abroad which showed i was adventerous, ambitious and mature enough to do all that alone.

all those people who were against it then are not so quick to say anything now.

29. Posted by pwfcompton (Budding Member 6 posts) 9y Star this if you like it!

Quoting here4life

I mentioned traveling to my Dad and he got verbally aggressive with me. I said I will be probably be leaving in 6 months but he says "Will I be leaving next week?". My sister takes pride in saying she thinks I won't travel.

But I have spoken to many people who have traveled and they have recommended it. I am 21 years of age (and 6 months) and want to do it. I am saving money for it, but my family are against it.

Is this normal?

U will never lose the concern of a family especially if you are going some distance, in a bad way it can be over bearing, in a good way its nice to know people care and will care even more when you get home.I started travelling at 21, never looked back, my mum still worries about me now, im 55? yep bless her.:)

30. Posted by Piecar (Travel Guru 933 posts) 9y Star this if you like it!

Your last post had you asking, slowly, about how you could do this thing...

Man up, brah. If you want to travel, and you are TWENTY-ONE!!!! then you are both footloose and fancy-free.

The world is FAR less dangerous than they make it out to be.

It is time to stop ASKING....

"Hey,Gang. I'm out the door on the twentieth. Off to Paris..(Den of of iniquity) See you in two months...

Man up, Brother.

Really. It is a Tempest in a Teapot we are talking about here.


[ Edit: Edited on Aug 23, 2008, at 7:19 PM by Piecar ]