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31. Posted by Purdy (Travel Guru 3546 posts) 8y

... further news just hot off the press - the beerman/blow up sheep has been unmasked - we now have been advised that it is Hien mascarading as beerman/blow up sheep and when unveiled was found to be wearing nothing but a Borat style speedo that leaves little to the imagination. The public have been advised should they come across Hien to simply avert their eyes, to prevent further mental (and in some cases physical torture) and contact the local constabulary immediately

32. Posted by tway (Travel Guru 7273 posts) 8y

...the confusion seems to have come from Hien's clever disguise of an Authentic Beerstani Camouflage Chestwig in "London Fog" green. "It's an honest mistake," said Beerman, reached at his home in Middle of Nowhere, US. "Those things are big hits overseas. Here, why don't you try on this Blue Lagoon chestwig-and-coconut-shell number..."

Hien was last seen trying to bum a bed at 10 Downing Street.

33. Posted by Purdy (Travel Guru 3546 posts) 8y

HOT OFF THE PRESS

Beerstani Chest Wigs now available in the UK due to an unprecedented demand. Those wishing to purchase this luxury item should sent all monies (£1000 a piece) to Purdy somewhere in wet and rainy Belfast where your order will be passed on to the manufacturer (aforementioned Beerstani) following a 95% cut to Purdy for import charges.

Buy soon or be disappointed - a full range of colours and styles are readily available

End of news flash

34. Posted by Isadora (Travel Guru 13926 posts) 8y

Beeristani is a very small nation and very broke. Now we know why. A certain Belfastianista is hoarding all the chestwig money.

Breaking News

After being denied lodging at 10 Downing Street, the Beerman impostor formerly known as Hien, has taken flight. Last seen, he was headed to magykal1's flat to rescue the blow-up animals he so thoughtlessly left behind at an earlier date. Said magykal1 will retain custody of the human blow-up dolls because he likes them. A lot. And because said Beerman impostor formerly known as Hien still has not replied to his reply. Oh, the wicked webs we weave when we don't reply to messages received.

Anyone seeing a blow-up sheep wearing an Authentic Beerstani Camouflage Chestwig in "London Fog" green and having "Bite Me!" written across it's bum, approach with caution. The Beerman impostor formerly known as Hien is armed with a bucket of KFC drumsticks and is extremely dangerous (if you try to eat one of his said drummies). He spits - sort of like a llama, but different - but sort of like that and it's messy. You'll recognize him by the greasy fingerprints left on the Authentic Beerstani Camouflage Chestwig in "London Fog" green.

35. Posted by magykal1 (Travel Guru 2026 posts) 8y

My mate just sent me this clip from the Reuters newsfeed (he works in the tech department there):

----------Just In-----------Priority 1-----NOT FOR UNAUTHORISED RELEASE--
Demand for Beeristani chestwigs destabilising global economy. Stop.
Beeristani chestwig value soon to pass value of gold in global exchange. Stop.

To be honest, I would suggest investing in a chestwig portfolio straightaway - send your $2000 cheques to 'Magykal Chestwig Investments Ltd', C/O Offord Road, Islington, London N1, UK

He sent me another clipping as well, not sure why but thought it might be of interest. I guess the ### symbols must replace other words for legal reasons, or maybe they were too obscene for publication:

The popular Internet forum personality, identified only as 'GWK', was seen ###### without ####### and ##### whilst #### # ####### on Wednesday night. Onlookers were shocked by #### ## ###### and #########.

'I've never seen anything like it', said Illinois County Sheriff Billybob Turkeyhammer. "The ###### ## ###### caught us by surprise. Hopefully we'll never see #### ### # ###### # ###### again."

36. Posted by Wonkerer (Respected Member 592 posts) 8y

I'm just wondering, does Rob realize that he had no "friends", while Hien (even being the messed up Beerman/sheep imitating, blow up animal lover that he is) had 35? What's the world coming to

[ Edit: Edited on Aug 6, 2008, at 1:02 PM by Wonkerer ]

37. Posted by magykal1 (Travel Guru 2026 posts) 8y

Sadly Katherine the truth is that I don't know how to make "friends".

I do have a few "fans" but how do I let them know the feeling's mutual?

I'm not sure whether this post should be in System Talk or Dear Deidre.....

38. Posted by Isadora (Travel Guru 13926 posts) 8y

Quoting magykal1

Sadly Katherine the truth is that I don't know how to make "friends".

I do have a few "fans" but how do I let them know the feeling's mutual?

I'm not sure whether this post should be in System Talk or Dear Deidre.....

I'd be able to tell you how to "make" friends but I'm too busy ########## and #### ### ########### with ##### ######## and ########## ## #### #######. Sorry!

Maybe if you send them a PM and say: # #### ########## #### ### and #### or ########, we could be mutual friends. How about #### ## ####### ### ##### and even ######## ###? Please let me know. I look forward to your reply.

In other news...
It seems the chestwig market has come to a screeching halt and prices have hit rock bottom. When ask about this amazing turn of events, the CFO of the FTSE Group stated a blow-up sheep wearing a London fog green chestwig and "Bite Me!" written on it's rump infiltrated the stock exchanged and hacked into the servers. Within seconds, the chestwig market had crashed and traders decided to just call it a day. They'll figure out what to do about it tomorrow. Basically, it was tea time and they couldn't be arsed with working past crumpets and jam.

39. Posted by james (Travel Guru 4136 posts) 8y

I just heard a rumour.

Now I won't go into any detail, but keep an eye out for Hien at tomorrow's Olympic Games opening ceremony.

40. Posted by Isadora (Travel Guru 13926 posts) 8y

WOOHOO!!!! Rob has 9 friends!!! One of them being that Beerman impostor.... Me thinks there's foul play afoot...