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pick up lines

Travel Forums Off Topic pick up lines

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71. Posted by tway (Travel Guru 7273 posts) 11y

Hi, will you help me find my lost puppy? I think he went into that cheap motel room across the street.

72. Posted by Wocca (Inactive 3745 posts) 11y

Take your pick ....

Are you from Tennessee? Because you're the only ten I see!

Baby, I'm no Fred Flintstone, but I can make your Bedrock!

Did you clean your pants with Windex? I can practically see myself in them.

Do you have a boyfriend? [No] Want one? [Yes] Well, when you want a MANfriend, come and talk to me.

Do you want to see something swell?

Excuse me, but you have a beep on your nose. What? (Reach up and gently squeeze her nose) BEEP!

Excuse me, I'm a little short on cash, would you mind if we shared a cab home together?

Hey babe, wanna make an easy fifty bucks?

Hi, the voices in my head told me to come over and talk to you.

I am conducting a field test of how many woman have pierced nipples.

I know I don't look like much now, but I'm drinking milk.

I'd marry your cat just to get in the family.

I've gotta thirst, baby, and you smell like my Gatorade.

My friend and I have a bet that you won't take off you blouse in a public place.

No, I'm not a cop. What can I get for fifty bucks?

Pardon me miss, I seem to have lost my phone number, could I borrow yours?

Pardon me, are you in heat?!

Should I call you in the morning or nudge you?

So, you're a girl huh?

Stand back, I'm a doctor. You go get an ambulance, I'll loosen her clothes.

Want to come see my HARD DRIVE? I promise it isn't 3.5 inches and it ain't floppy.

Would you like to come over to my place later? You can bring some friends because my face seats five.

You know how they say skin is the largest organ? Not in my case.

You make my software turn to hardware!

You're so hot you melt the plastic in my underwear.

http://linesthataregood.com/lame.html

73. Posted by Cupcake (Travel Guru 8468 posts) 11y

Now..for the rebuttals

*

He - Can I buy you a drink?
She - Actually I'd rather have the money.
*

He - Hi. Didn't we go on a date once? Or was it twice?
She - Must've been once. I never make the same mistake twice.
*

He - How did you get to be so beautiful?
She - I must've been given your share.
*

He - Your face must turn a few heads.
She - And your face must turn a few stomachs.
*

He - Go on, don't be shy. Ask me out.
She - Okay, get out.
*

He - What would you say if I asked you to marry me?
She - Nothing. I can't talk and laugh at the same time.
*

He - Can I have your name?
She - Why? Don't you already have one?
*

He - Hey baby, what's your sign?
She - Do not enter.
*

He - If I could see you naked, I'd die happy.
She - If I saw you naked, I'd probably die laughing.
*

He - Where have you been all my life?
She - Where I'll be the rest of your life - in your wildest dreams.

74. Posted by daveh (Travel Guru 1027 posts) 11y

Reading this has just reminded me of the most spectacularly unsuccessful chat up line i ever tempted. I was really, really, really drunk when i done this one:

I walked up to a girl who was wearing a tiger-print dress and went "grrrrrrrrrr". That was it. She looked at me with utter disbelief. I drunkenly stood there awaiting some type of response, the only thing that happened was that my mates put me in a taxi home.

75. Posted by Wocca (Inactive 3745 posts) 11y

Women's Replies To Chat Up Lines

Man: "Haven't we met before?"
Woman: "Yes, I'm the receptionist at the V.D. Clinic."

Man: "Haven't I seen you someplace before?"
Woman: "Yeah, that's why I don't go there anymore."

Man: "Is this seat empty?"
Woman: "Yes, and this one will be too if you sit down."

Man: "So, wanna go back to my place?"
Woman: "Well, I don't know. Will two people fit under a rock?"

Man: "Your place or mine?"
Woman: "Both. You go to yours and I'll go to mine."

Man: "I'd like to call you. What's your number?"
Woman: "It's in the phone book."

Man: "But I don't know your name."
Woman: "That's in the phone book too."

Man: "So what do you do for a living?"
Woman: "I'm a female impersonator."

Man: "Voulez-vous vous coucher avec moi ce soir?"
(Would you like to go to bed with me tonight?)
Woman: "Je voudrais bien, mais je n'ai rien a porter."
(I would love to, but I have nothing to wear.)

Man: "What sign were you born under?"
Woman: "No Parking."

Man: "Hey, baby, what's your sign?"
Woman: "Do not Enter" (or) "Stop."

Man: "How do you like your eggs in the morning?"
Woman: "Unfertilised!"

Man: "Hey, come on, we're both here at this bar for the same reason."
Woman: "Yeah! Let's pick up some chicks!"

Man: "I'm here to fulfill your every sexual fantasy."
Woman: "You mean you've got both a donkey and a Great Dane?"

Man: "I know how to please a woman."
Woman: "Then please leave me alone."

Man: "I want to give myself to you."
Woman: "Sorry, I don't accept cheap gifts."

Man: "I can tell that you want me."
Woman: "Ohhhh. You're so right. I want you to leave."

Man: "If I could see you naked, I'd die happy."
Woman: "Yeah, but if I saw you naked, I'd probably die laughing."

Man: "Hey cutie, how 'bout you and I hitting the hot spots?"
Woman: "Sorry, I don't date outside my species."

Man: "May I see you pretty soon?"
Woman: "Why? Don't you think I'm pretty now?"

Man: "Your body is like a temple."
Woman: "Sorry, there are no services today."

Man: "I'd go through anything for you."
Woman: "Good! Let's start with your bank account."

Man: "I would go to the end of the world for you."
Woman: "Yes, but would you stay there?"

76. Posted by mtlgal (Full Member 1179 posts) 11y

Some Australian dude told me this one when I asked for examples of cheeky pick-up lines he's used:

Guy: Excuse-me, do you raise chicken?
Girls: (puzzled, I'm sure) No...
Guys: That's funny, 'cause you sure raise cocks!

I don't really care how cheesy the pick-up line is, it all depends on how good-looking the guy is and what he does/says afterwards.;)

77. Posted by Wocca (Inactive 3745 posts) 11y

It seems to me that really counts is that someone is making a genuine effort to "connect". As mtlgal has just said it all depends on how good-looking the guy is and what he does/says afterwards.

78. Posted by Cupcake (Travel Guru 8468 posts) 11y

Looks?
Looks fade.........stupid is forever.

79. Posted by mtlgal (Full Member 1179 posts) 11y

Quoting Cupcake

Looks?
Looks fade.........stupid is forever.

Oh that is a good one!! Can I use that?

Yeah, looks sometimes (but not always) fade, but admit that a cheesy pick-up line delivered by a Jude Law look-alike would sound much more charming than by a David Spade look-alike! Right ladies? Or am I the only superficial one here??

80. Posted by Wocca (Inactive 3745 posts) 11y

At least you're honest, mtlgal