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I am RICH!!!!!

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11. Posted by Isadora (Travel Guru 13926 posts) 8y

Quoting Purdy

Quoting tway

Quoting Pardus

And there was me thinking this thread was about Chayisun turning into Gelli....

That took me a sec, but it was worth it.

Chayisun, let us know if you suddenly feel an inexplicable attraction to sheep... ;)

NOW I get it!!!!


I know I'm slow on the uptake some days (just ask Rich) but even I figured that one out. Maybe I've just spent too much time around Philly... Nope, don't thinks that's it...

12. Posted by Purdy (Travel Guru 3546 posts) 8y

Oh yeah pick on me - my excuse is IM TIRED!!!!!!!!

13. Posted by chayisun (Budding Member 163 posts) 8y

My dear Mr. Mike E. Boab,

I am so sorry you are hurted..I mean hurt..That I would think your recent Email was a scam.

After receiving the email from your mother, Rosemary, about the pizza's I ordered I am certainly sure that you are very truthful. However, I am afraid I can't find the $280.00 that is required for the pizza's so I will have to cancel the order....I hope this does not interfere in our business arrangement.

Now, I am certainly surprised about the currency that I will receive. It seems that it is to be in some sort of Nigerian monopoly money.

I have checked this out in a currency converter and, I hate to inform you of this as I don't want to hurted...I mean, hurt your feelings but Zimbabwe currency is worth more.

This does not look good for our business arrangement. Is there any way that you can come up with the $900,000.00 that you owe me?

On another note, I am very happy to see that your mother was educated in Texas. That must make you very proud. Is it true that she was a cheerleader for the Dallas Cowboys.....If so, could you send me a picture of her...In her uniform.....If she wasn't a cheerleader, don't bother with the picture....

Now, I am very sorry about your father dying in a plane crash. At least he died quickly..Well, hopefully. However, if he was trapped in a burning plane.....Well, maybe he died fast...On a brighter note, it could have been worse, of course, as he could have been gored by an irate goat or, worse, a female sheep. Did you know that a female sheep is called a ewe?

It would appear that there is some question about sheep. If I'm not mistaken, in Nigeria, sheep have been known to become a very important part of the family and, Mr. Boab, I have heard that you have many sheep living within your household.

Should I come to visit you will I have my own room? I am very selective about my friends and have an aversion to wool. However, the dessert sounds good.

By the way, Mr. Boab,I did contact your brother, Mr. Harris, about the transaction and
had a very difficult time talking to him on the phone. While I was trying to talk to him, I kept hearing strange sounds that reminded me of sheep bleatings. Mr. Harris sounded like he was very busy so I hung up.....

Finally, Mr. Boab, you say we are brothers like sisters and your cousins mother is like my uncles wife....I have no idea what you are saying.

I must confess that , not having any brother's who are like my sister's, which I also don't have..Well, other than Sven, my cousin sixth removed from Tillsenburg who is, you know...along with my uncle's wife, Roxi, who used to be a stripper in Las Vegas,
and Gramma Rose, who was married to Sven's half brother from Orillia who had a sheep farm....He divorced Gramma Rose and moved in with his favourite ewe, as it were.

Anyway Mr. Boab, I will conclude this letter, reminding you that I await the $900,000.00 and hope that this is concluded to our satisfaction....

For some reason I have an urge to have lamb chops, to-night.....

Yours truly,

MR. Chayisun.....

PS...I note, with some surprise, the bank has changed....

PPS..Please use spell checker......

14. Posted by Isadora (Travel Guru 13926 posts) 8y

Dearest Mr./Mrs. Chayisun,

I am very happy in my heart that you think my sons, Mr. Harrises and Dr. Boabeses, are truth. They are good sons. They take good care of me, Rosemary Harrises-Boabeses of Nigeria not Zimbabwe. Why you think we are from Zimbabwe? The money of Zimbabwe is not so pretty so it is not so good and we would not be from there. To show you how truthful we are here is picture of me and my brother when we were educated in Texas. We were very famous and earned all of the money we want to give to you with your pizzas. The pizza order can not be taken away. We took time to make your pizzas and they are warm until the $560 American dollars are given to us. We will give you free gelli too. We would give you sheep too but they died in plane crash with fathers of Mr. Harrises and Dr. Boabeses. To show you we are honest please see picture of money and pizzas. We know you will not let us down so we are ready to send 15 pizzas to you and our pretty money. I do not know any of these other people you write about. They are not from Nigeria. Are they from Zimbabwe? I think they name their children Sven in Zimbabwe but the money is not good there. Please send $840 American dollars right away. We love you as our brother's son of our daughter's cousin.

Lovingly some more,
Rosemary
(Mr. Harrises and Dr. Boabses mother)

15. Posted by chayisun (Budding Member 163 posts) 8y

Hello Rosemary:

I have been away visiting my relatives in Illinois and have just returned.

I have checked the mail box and there is no cheque and, most distressingly, no pizzas.

Would this mean that I will not be receiving either from you? If that is true then I wish to cancel my pizza order.

As for your picture I am not sure which one is you or which one is your brother. When you tell me who is who I will introduce your brother to Sven. By the way, I have been informed that Sven is not really a member of the family but was left on the doorstep during a snowstorm..He was crying uncontrollably and, feeling sorry for him, my Aunt Myrtle adopted him. He was thirty-two at the time.

Anyway, I have decided that, being filthy rich, I don't need the $900,000.00 and would ask that you take the money and purchase a donkey for you and your brother...And don't forget to say hello to my cousin's brother's sister and her nephew's niece.....

16. Posted by mikeyBoab (Travel Guru 5077 posts) 8y

DAER MR CHAYISUN

I AM SORRY PIZAS HAVE NOT BEN DILIVERD TO YOUR HOUSE I WILL CHECK WITH THE DELIVERY COMPANY. BUT THE SECURITY COMPNAY THAT WE DEAL WITH IS MUCH BETTER AND ORGNAISED SO IF YOU SENT ME THE MONEY TO RELEASE THE MONEY IT WILL MEAN THAT WE CAN GET THE PAYMENT RELEASED TO YOUR BANK ACCOUNT FOR CHARITABNLE VERNTRUE OF YOUR CHOOSING IN YOUR CONUTRY. PLASE YOU MUS BELEIVE ME ABOUT THIS EVEN MY MOTHER SHE SAYS I AM GOODF BOY. I HAVE ATTACH FOR YOU PICTURE OF ME TO SHOW THAT YOU ARE DEAL WITH KIND GOOD PERSON, SEE HERE AND LET US PROCED WITH GOOD CAUSE OF GETTING THE MONEY FROM YOUR ACCOUNT TO MINE. I MEAN MY ACCOUNT TO YOURS HEH HEH. ALSO WHEN THE TRANSACTION IS COMPLEET YOU WILL BE MY BROTHER LIKE SISTER AND WILL BE PART OF OUR FAMILY LIKE A SON TO DAGHTER OF THE GRANNY SO HERE IS PICTURE OF YOU NEW FAMILY SO QUICKLY AND SEND THE MONEY SOONEST MY DEAREST HUNK OF CHEESE.

I LOVE YOU.

DR MIKE E BOAB
SENIOR LEGISLATIVE EXECTUVIVE ADMINSTRATIVE ASSISTANT
BOAB, ISADORA AND HARRIS
SOLICITORS AT ARMS

17. Posted by tway (Travel Guru 7273 posts) 8y

I'm trying to eat my toast, people! It doesn't look good all over the computer screen!

18. Posted by chayisun (Budding Member 163 posts) 8y

To DR MIKE E BOAB
SENIOR LEGISLATIVE EXECTUVIVE ADMINSTRATIVE ASSISTANT
BOAB, ISADORA AND HARRIS
SOLICITORS AT ARMS

Please, I really don't want the pizzas. I realize that the pizzas that I ordered some time ago, that is, a LONG time ago, may have been forwarded to the wrong country.

I was wondering if, instead of the pizzas, I could get my money. You know, all of that $900,000.00 that I said I didn't want...Well, I want the money. Not the pizzas but the money.

I want the money so I can buy my lovely Wife a new set of golf clubs..She calls them sticks but...And with the remaining loot I would like to buy Zimbabwe and have it moved to Nigeria. I don't know why......


By the way, Dr. Mike E. Boab, I looked at your picture and I am very surprised to see that you play the violin, wearing a dress and a wig. I mean, I can understand your mother, Rosemary, wearing a dress or a form fitting Dallas Cowboys cheerleader outfit with those VERY high white boots and that short, short skirt ........

Where was I.....

Oh, yea....Also, you don't look Nigerian. No offence but you should really get out into the sun more...You are VERY pale. As a doctor, you, of all people should know that sunshine is very good for your health. I wouldn't like anything to happen to you before I get my money....

I am pleased that you think of me as your brother like sister. Unfortunately, I have no sister nor do I have a brother but I do know of a relative named Sven who is a dancer in the Royal Ballet Company in San Francisco.

As for your granny's son of a sister who dances in the ballet, maybe Sven might be interested in meeting your brother like sister's granny's son of a sister.

As for my new family, they look like the neighbours. Well, except for the fact they are nudists. Not that I have actually SEEN them that way but that's what I hear...From our other neighbours. They are from Scotland and they keep everyone up ALL night playing the bagpipes. Now THAT is a sound! We thought that a cat was being strangled but it was the sound of a bagpipe...Or maybe it was his wife calling out....I am thinking of stealing the bagpipe...

Anyway, Dr. Boab, it was very nice to hear from you and I am so pleased to be called a hunk of cheese. I've been called other things but this is a first..... I look forward to receiving the money...

By the way, would you like a bagpipe?

One other thing, Dr. Boab.....

PLEASE...I IMPLORE YOU.....USE THE #$%^%$# SPELL CHECKER!!!!!

19. Posted by Isadora (Travel Guru 13926 posts) 8y

Dearest Mr. Filthy Chayisun,

There are many things that must be discussion. The most important is the filthy. Do people in America North not take baths? Is this why you are filthy rich? Even our livestock take a bath when it rains. I say you should go stand in the rain when it rains so you can be clean like the sheeps and goats. Then you will be clean rich. That's much better. Only our pigs like the filthy. Do you put lipstick on pigs too? Our cousin's brother's wife of her husband's uncle in Omaha said his friend (he's running for president of the United States of Nebraska) said pigs like wearing lipstick. Our pigs do not like lipstick. Well, they like to eat it. Your United States of Nebraska is very strange to us. Why would you want to buy Zimbabwe? They don't have good money like Nigeria and Nebraska.

Please do not make fun of my son Dr. Boabeses. He has many problems that his fathers gave him. His pale skin is from a disease of famous people. The doctor says he has Michael Jackson disease. Michael Jackson is famous in Nebraska so you should know this disease. Even in Texas they know this disease. The treatment is very painful and my son Dr. Boabeses grew wings like a bird. The doctor said that is from the treatment being made from birds. We are trying to teach him to fly but he only jumps up and down because the wings are too small. We hope he will fly soon and deliver your money and pizzas. Please send the $1120 so he can finish flying lessons. My son Dr. Boabeses likes wearing the dresses because he loves his mother and other men who like him to wear the dresses. Oh Mr. Filthy Chayisun my son stays out all night with these love men and makes me worry. No mother should have to worry like this. Please send the $1400 so my son Dr. Boabeses can have that operation. After the operation he won't have to wear a wig any more and can wear the dresses all of the time because he will be my sondaughter. The doctor tells me they can take away the wings too. Please send the money very soon so we can send you money and pizzas. My son Dr. Boabeses plays the violin for the Nigeria Philharmonic Orchestra. Please do not make fun of the violin. My son Dr. Boabeses does not play the bagpipes so we do not want the bagpipes. Maybe Sven from Zimbabwe would like the bagpipes.

Please send money so you can buy sticks for your wife. We don't buy sticks in Nigeria. We find sticks on the ground and pick them up to use for the fire. Maybe you should look at the ground for the sticks. Don't forget to stand in the rain for the bath too. Oh wet sticks do not burn in the fire so dry them off.

What does #$%^%$# mean? It looks like Zimbabwe language but we can not find that word in the Nigeria-Zimbabwe translation dictionary. Please explain so we can send you money and pizzas. The pizzas are getting cold so send money right away.

Here are hugs and kisses from your family in Nigeria,

Rosemary
(Mr. Harrises and Dr. Boabses mother)

ps: My brother has the blonde hair. We are easy to tell apart. He likes wearing the dresses too.

20. Posted by magykal1 (Travel Guru 2026 posts) 8y

Gelli is rich.

I'll get my coat.