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No need to fear the Large Hadron Collider at CERN

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1. Posted by GregW (Travel Guru 2635 posts) 8y

On the eve of the first tests of the Large Hadron Collider running under the country-side in Switzerland and France, I would like to ensure the public that there is nothing to worry about.

I once lived in a house in Ottawa where a micro-black hole developed in the attic, and other than one unfortunately accident involving a squeaky toy, a game of fetch and a French Poodle, it was nothing to be feared. In fact, it was quite beneficial, ridding us of a rather pesky squirrel infestation in the attic. And in the summer, I would hang it in my window so I could get the cool summer breezes coming in without having to worry about biting insects like black flies and mosquitoes, whose small mass sadly couldn't keep them from crossing over the event horizon and into nothingness.

Have an excellent Wednesday.

Greg

2. Posted by Brendan (Respected Member 1824 posts) 8y

Haha

Hmm, maybe I should install a Hadron Collider in my Mums attic which is plagued with squirrels

3. Posted by Purdy (Travel Guru 3546 posts) 8y

I would like to be able to carry it around in my handbag and those people who are just not worth the air that they breathe l could simply open my bag and have them sucked into the vortex.... Might cause me a problem finding my lip gloss; wallet and mobile out of my handbag but lm sure l could come up with a solution for that!!

Well it was due to commence between 8am-9am GMT and its 9.20am now and lm still here sitting at my desk trying to avoid a report that is calling out to me to be completed!! Dam that means l gotta go to college tonight

4. Posted by Isadora (Travel Guru 13926 posts) 8y

Well, I woke up this morning and it was very dark outside... I wasn't sure if we had been sucked into a giant black hole or it was something as simple as sunrise was still an hour away. At first I thought the stars may be those pesky haven't-found-yet Higgs particles but it appears they were only stars. (Was looking forward to getting an ridiculously humongous sum of money for finding them before anyone else...) Reading my Google news page, I found the test was a success and I hadn't found any Higgs particles. At daybreak though, the sky was a brilliant red-orange color which gave rise to a different concern... Had those speeding protons actually sparked, setting the world ablaze and the flames were headed my way? Nope, it was sunrise. Phew! We only have a small kitchen fire extinguisher - it wouldn't have been much help.

Rumor has it that it may take 5-10 years before the results concerning the Higgs particles are realized. Stephen Hawking is going to have a long wait to see if he collects on that $100 bet he made.

I'd gladly take a black hole. It would be a sure fire way to rid ourselves of some raccoons. I don't care where the hole takes them as long as it's not right back here.

[ Edit: Edited on Sep 10, 2008, at 5:03 AM by Isadora ]

5. Posted by tway (Travel Guru 7273 posts) 8y

You know, I always wondered what happened to that lipstick I dropped on the floor when I was 10... it just disappeared. We look for ages and it was nowhere. I wonder if Hadron Collider will let me take a peek...

Although it sure does cut some holes in my lipstick-gnome theory...

6. Posted by mikeyBoab (Travel Guru 5077 posts) 8y

What if it did all go wrong and we've all been pushed into a parallel universe where everything's exactly the same? Or what if we all died and haven't realised it?????

7. Posted by tway (Travel Guru 7273 posts) 8y

Quoting mikeyBoab

What if it did all go wrong and we've all been pushed into a parallel universe where everything's exactly the same? Or what if we all died and haven't realised it?????

Maybe you'll grow boobs!

Then we can call you mikeyboob.

8. Posted by mikeyBoab (Travel Guru 5077 posts) 8y

Quoting tway

Quoting mikeyBoab

What if it did all go wrong and we've all been pushed into a parallel universe where everything's exactly the same? Or what if we all died and haven't realised it?????

Maybe you'll grow boobs!

Then we can call you mikeyboob.

Maybe you can shut up. Then we can call you . . . erm . . . SHUT UP!!!

9. Posted by magykal1 (Travel Guru 2026 posts) 8y

Maybe I won't have a cold. sniffle. I would like the Large Hadron Collider if it could do that.

10. Posted by MattXIII (Full Member 272 posts) 8y

Told me mate about it all last night. A pretty heated (and stoned) argument went on.
The theory was that they might create micro black holes, he decided it could have been burgers.

His theory being that as we've never made a black hole before but we've made billions of burgers then it stands to reason that it was more likely to be a burger created..........now when ya think about it that make sense.......kind of