thanks for your replies, its nice ot hear other people's views... its half 2am and i got to get up in 4 hours to work and needless to say i am very tired but i will try to make sense!
i know that there is a recession going on. i also know that if your job is not making you happy that you must change something or fulfill that side of you that you put "on hold" or hushed aside for the sake of security.
maybe i am young and foolish (and if that is the case then it is really the time to be foolish!) but having travelled and moved countries a lot in my life (yet having not "travelled" per se) one thing i learnt is that you make of life what you want it to be. obviously there are many factors affecting what you can do out of it, but overall it is a question of attitude and situation. and sometimes the perfect situation to leave, to stay, to have kids, to get married, to have a career change or whatever it is you aspire to do - it doesnt come on a silver tray ready and perfect for consumption. in many cases in life you have to take the opportunity yourself, make it happen - and there are always risks involved.
another thing i have learned is that you must adapt yourself, be clever and positive. no matter how secure you build your life, how many years you have worked in a field or how much money you have in a bank - anything can happen at any time. and to me, the more i depend on those "securities" the more vulnerable i feel at the end of the day... i am not saying that being reasonable and responsible etc is a bad thing, i actually admire it alot and do aspire to it. but for the time being, i guess that it scares me, therefore i prefer not to hold on to things that might not be there tomorrow.
now south america - for that is where i am going in december - has been my dream for as long as i can remember. and yes i may be in a much better position next year if i postponed it (financially and in prospects for a future career) but the fact of the matter is that i may be run over by a bus tomorrow and doing this travel is the one thing in my life that i feel i must do - no matter what comes out of it. if i dont go travelling, having a good job and security will not provide me with that inner satisfaction. i know it. i will feel as though i have let myself down. i am not sad in my current position or job and i am not trying to escape or disconnect to try and "find myself" again and head on a different path in life. i just think that it is now or never, and while i am still young and without any real responsibilities (kids, sick parents, huge debt...) than i will still have the energy to fight when i come back. besides with this whole crisis thing - it sounds like no one is in for happy times here! so i might as well enjoy my time out there!
sorry for my speech, but my conclusion is that there are no two ways about it. Its just a shame really that it has to happen this way. oh well. i'm off planning my trip now!