When we had our old country home my Wife, Sue, said we should get someone in to paint the basement floor, a task that I had been putting off for about a year....
"Why pay someone when I can do it?" I said, somewhat insulted that Sue thought we needed a "professional" to do this mundane job.
"Well, you know, you have been "going to do it" for about a year now."
" I know," I stated, "But I've been busy."
"Well, I'd do it to-morrow but the basement floor need to be power washed.."
"I did that yesterday, while you were out jogging...."
So, To-morrow arrives and down into the basement I go and survey the area to be painted. The basement floor looks much larger then it did when we moved in.
I can't find the paint brushes...Sue comes down and finds them...I can't find the paint rollers...Sue comes down, again and finds the paint rollers....Sue stays and ask me if there is anything else I can't find.
"Where's the paint?"
Sue finds the paint.
Sue asks "Would you like me to pour the paint into the paint tray....oh, wait a minute...I have to find the paint tray."
At this point I ask Sue to leave as I am about to begin this arduous task.
I open the paint tin, pour the paint into the paint tray and then go upstairs, pour myself a cup of coffee and sit at the kitchen table, reading the morning paper.
Sue is vacuuming the living room and suddenly the vacuuming stops.
She appears in the kitchen and asks me what I am doing.
Well, I was not too sure how to answer this question but I thought, if she couldn't see what I was doing I would explain.
"Having a coffee break."
" Well, I think I need one....."
"How much painting did you get done before your coffee break? I mean, you were down there all of 5 minutes."
"That's true", I said," but it was a productive five minutes."
"What did you get done?"
"Well, I poured the paint into the paint tray."
"Do you realize that, if you take a coffee break after every 5 minutes of "work" you'll never get it done? I mean, you just had breakfast."
So, on my way downstairs I tried to rationalize this statement......Couldn't. But, I did say that Union workers get coffee breaks. Only retort I could think of.....
So, put on my headphones, put on my paint clothes and away I go. Paint , paint, paint...
Things are going smoothly, the painting is a work of art...well, you get my drift.
So, after about an hour and a half....Seemed much longer....I realize something.
"Sue," I call out, "Can you come down here?"
"Can't right now...What do you want?"
"I need to see you."
"Well", says Sue," Come up here."
"I have a slight problem."
Now, the problem I had was something that was going to be very difficult to explain to Sue.
I really couldn't believe it but I had painted myself into the corner and could not get to the steps leading upstairs...no way, no how.
I was cornered......
Sue eventually came downstairs, surveyed the predicament that I was in, shook her head, and headed back upstairs.
"Where are you going?" I asked.
"Well, I think it's time for my coffee break ....."
"Well, what am I supposed to do in the meantime?"
Sue poked her head around the doorway and said.." Why not call your Union?"
I could only remember the old saying about watching paint dry.....