I have before me the map of the whole wide world. I have looked and looked...I can't find the beloved land of Beeristan.
I am assuming it is somewhere near Lichtenstein and maybe south of Frankenstein.
If someone could tell me where it is actually located I would like to go live there. I would open a bed and breakfast in local castle and have big knockers on door...Cue Teri Garr.....And, nightly entertainment by Vlad and the Impalers.
As for ninja's I would have them working in beermine producing lots of beer which could be sold to beer loving peoples around world.
All hail Beeristan...Which I would do if I could find it......
Oh, you kind peoples and supporters of Isa & Beerman!!!!! Summer910 person has asked about flag of Beeristan. Flag of Beeristan is very stylish and has very long history. See, here is official flag of Beeristan in all it's glorious and greatness. Please to not be concerned with beer bottle label. Beer of Beeristan is not poison and tastes very good. The label is copy of first flag. The Beeristani peoples come from a long line of South Pacifier Ocean pirate peoples. The Beeristani pirate peoples picked the colors for their flag because they were fierce. They made copy of the colors they found on our island to show their fierciness. See, skull is fiercely happy like peoples of Beeristan.
Chayisun supporter person asked where to find Beeristan. No, Mr. Chayisun, Beeristan is not next door to Lichtenstein or south of Frankenstein, but Teri Garr has made visit many times. She likes beer. Beeristan is next door neighbor to Howland Island in the South Pacifier Ocean. (Beeristan coordinates are found at 8° 45' 21" south - 175° 10' 12" west.) We invited Amelia Earhart for beer too. We still have landing strip lights on in case she is circulating around Beeristan. It is very filled with fog around Beeristan. We have no castles. We have tiki bar and huts.
Beerman is considering offer of helper-outer at Beeristan Beermine. Please to submit your reasons for being good employee and please to include full list of all beers you have put in your mouth.
Isa must now go back to TP Martini Lounge and contact CDplayer Security because Homeland Security only wants to help with stolen houses. To all peoples and supporters of Beeristan, please to return CD player for debate and party if you have it in your house that is not stolen.
You thank us for your support and we love you! Please not to forget to vote soon and many times!
Happy Days to all Happy Beeristan New Peoples of Soon-To-Be-New-Location-Country-Of-Beeristan, where is formerly headquartered in Washington DC of the United of States. YAY!!!!!!!
Beerman is make welcome to all peoples who are wish to make home in New Beeristan, even ninjas and Canadians. No longer will we peoples make tolerance for corruptions of government, wars and violences against non-Beeristanis and Canadians, the drinking of inferior beers, greed, sloth, and music of Bee Gees. We are standing as united for goodness and happy dance during all of day. Peoples will make to have full employment in Beermine. Cubicles are to be outlawed in offices of peoples except in case of scientific type experiments like mouse in maze thing. Green speedos will be the nationally accepted form of swim wear, with no person making slight against any other for shape of body. Chestwig use will be optional but encouraged.
And if full revolution is to make happen, leaders of Former US of A will not be executed for bad hair and misdeeds to world. No, former leaders will be employed by new Beeristani government to perform tasks of necessary for goods of all peoples. The Beeristan Cabinet, which is just next to Beeristan armoire, will make to decide special tasks for peoples who have not made happy. Mr. Boosh will have good job making scrub of toilets and cleaning litter boxes in new White House, which is to have new name....Green House!!! YAY!!!!! Former senators will have new titles.....Sanitors, because they will have special job of cleaning countryside with toothbrushes. Is good to have clean country.
So, as President Isa and Beerman will make to decree: Please to make Happy, not are to worry!!!!!!
Welcome all soon-to-want-to-be voters and citizens of a new world order.....we are the world, we are the Beeristanis, we have Happy on side of good and make boo to side of bad!!!!
Long live the Glorious And Great Independent Nation Of Beeristan (And Related Colonies And Enclaves) or the GAGINOBARCAE for shortening.
Is Beerman, and I am having endorsed this messages. Thank you.
Now that I know where new country of Beeristan is located we shall pack our dinghy with all the necessary equipment, such as new big screen TV, computer, Xbox 360, running gear, Labatt's Beer and, oh yea, some of Sue's stuff.
I have my GPS ready and will enter coordinates before we set sail....Sue says she will row as I get lost all the time...Even with GPS.....Must be something wrong with GPS.....
I note that BEE GEE music is not to be tolerated. That's OK because they are not my all time favourite group as they don't sing Disco Duck. Instead I will bring with me Toronto Philharmonic Orchestra who will play for the swearing-in procedure of the brand new President and Second President. I hope swearing-in does not include any swear words that I don't know about.
As a Canadian I would also like to bring to the island my pet badger, Homer. I know that badger's have a bad reputation but Homer has only attacked 563 people and I don't think that there will be that many on this new island. Besides he makes a very good watch badger and could protect the new borders and keep out the riff raff from Howland Island.
By the way, after Beeristan has installed government maybe Beeristan should apply for membership in the United Nations. I mean, that is a great place to get free money.
Have you thought about an army for Beeristan? I can, as I stated before, get a used Sub from Canada and, I hear, England is trying to offload it's 1812 muskets......When we get those we could invade the Howland Islands and make them part of Beeristan.
Also, should you not creat a symbol for Beeristan? No, I don't mean beer bottles, I mean something like other countries have. The United States has the Eagle, Canada has the Beaver and Iran has a Turkey. So, I was going to suggest the Goonie Bird.
What better to represent this new land called Beeristan as, I read, there a lot of those birds next door on Howland Island....All the more reason to invade that island as Goonie Birds don't fly and Beeristan, not having any native birds, could go over to the other island and kidnap those birds.
So, we are all ready to set sail. However, being Thanksgiving in Canada, we have to wait until the turkey is cooked. We will bring it with us. Also, Tuesday is election day here so we have to wait to vote. Also, Sue has reminded me that we have a dentist appointmment next week...And then there's the sale at the Bay.......
We will be on our way sometime.....The river to the lake to the St. Lawrence seaway to the ocean is still open...Gee, that's a lot of rowing. Hope Sue doesn't get too tired..
Oh, you kind peoples and supporters of Isa & Beerman!!!!! The time has fleeted away and day of electing United Beeristan Dream Team of Isa & Beerman is on street corner. No, really. It is little booth where peoples of bus riding wait to cast votes. Please to be willing to wait in the lines so Isa & Beerman can move into House of White on top of big hill in Washington of the D.C. place. Our believing in you is so good that Beeristani beer trucks are waiting outside House of White gate. For some reason the little man at gate voting booth is not believing drivers beer is needed for celebration party. He says something about Homeland Security again... Why is uniformed peoples so worried about securing House of White to the land? Beerman & Isa are moving into the house, not moving the house. Anyway, Beerman & Isa know all Beeristani peoples will vote for them and tomorrow will be day of glory in The Glorious And Great Independent Nation Of Beeristan (And Related Colonies And Enclaves).
Again, you thank us for your support and we love you! Please not to forget to vote soon and many times!