I would make the decision where to study on where your partner can find a job. Programmer's are highly sought after, if he is really that good potential employers should not be too fussy about his language skills.
The pro's and con's of each city:
Berlin
- close to Poland (I assume your partner is from there)
- good and cheap fligh connections to London (if you want to stay in contact with friends or family in London)
- very hip and artsy right now, with great night life, just the place to be for young people
- lowest cost of living out of the 3 cities
- lots of cold-war history
- maybe the least friendly to finding a job, as unemployment is high
- Polish language skills might be a bonus in finding a job
- pay is going to be lower than in Munich and a lot lower than in London
(If you both are gay, go to Berlin. Next to Cologne Berlin is the most-gay friendly city in both Germany and Austria. I'm saying this bc Melchior is a male name and you talk about your partner as "him".)
Munich
- low unemployment
- lots of infrastructure to English-speaking people (lawyers, estate and relocation agents) that can make moving for high-skilled foreigners a pleasant experience
- very active expat community
- great if you are into outdoors (like skiing, hiking, rock-climbing) as the Alps are very close
- "typical (stereotypical IMO) German" city, if you expect beer, lederhosen and oompha-brass-bands in Germany you won't be dissappointed by moving to Munich
- heavy Bavarian dialect spoken
Vienna
- high cost of living, hard to find affordable places to live
- lots of competition with young professionals from Hungary, Slovakia and Czech R.
- heavy dialect compared to (Northern) Standard German
Finally, it would be useful if you gave some info on citizenship of yourself and your partner. It might have an impact on getting residency permit if you are not both EU citizens.
[ Edit: Edited on Oct 29, 2008, at 8:07 AM by t_maia ]