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Leaving a Long term Partner to travel for up to a year...

Travel Forums General Talk Leaving a Long term Partner to travel for up to a year...

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11. Posted by tleb (Full Member 117 posts) 7y

Quoting Amie L.

You have to go and see what happens and NOT feel guilty about it. It's one thing if she supports you, but it'd be another entirely if it ends up being something she holds against you or vice versa.

But now is definitely the time, when you are younger and have less commitments, to get out there and travel. It'd be nice if it could be with her, but obviously that's not going to happen. And you can gauge your feelings and your relationship as you go. Nothing huge has to be decided now.

Have fun!

Bingo!

12. Posted by cindyjoe (Inactive 23 posts) 7y

Don't ever let anyone hold you back. thats all I have to say.

13. Posted by LaurenLolz (Respected Member 226 posts) 7y

I'll simply say, (if she has the means to go with you, yet reasons she can't), traveling with someone is like living with someone. If you can't live and travel with someone you're in a relationship, then maybe you should reevaluate the situation. Besides that, you've been together since you were young, maybe you should find someone new .. instead of commiting to a constant, only beacause you haven't experienced anyone else. Or marry her, fuck.

14. Posted by hednorth (Budding Member 31 posts) 7y

You'll go and travel because you have to, it's in you... and maybe you'll figure things out along the way. But I have to tell you that if you love traveling and she doesn't, you may eventually get bored in your relationship.
That's what happened to me.... then I went traveling and met my husband

15. Posted by RomanX (First Time Poster 1 posts) 7y

Let's cut to the crux of the matter. You are liquid and she is solid. You are a body in motion and she is a body at rest. Simple Newtonian physics. Paths cross, then depart. Choices are made. Marriages and relationships begin and end every minute because interests change, people change; nobody's fault per se. I suggest the writing is on the wall.

16. Posted by ecca (Budding Member 16 posts) 7y

hey, she said wouldn't go for a year, didn't say wouldn't go for vacations. Be optimistic! She can take her vacation leave from her job to travel with you......just needs to departure on her own.
Of course, you two won't see each other everyday in that year but at least can meet once in a few months.

Remember, this is a great chance once in a lifetime. You are still young and it is fine to do that. When you grow older and taking more responsibilities and have built up your career, you will not or in that situation not allowed to do it.

GOOD LUCK to your long vacation!

17. Posted by Cool Paul (Travel Guru 611 posts) 7y

Check this out:

I was with a girl for 3 years and then she dumped me, at first I thought, "if it didn't work with her, how will it work with anyone else?"

but then I travelled for bit and realized that there is this entire sub-culture of people who share the same interests as me. And not only that, most of them are cute young single independent women! (thank you god)

So I met a few girls along the way and then I realized something...that relationship I was in before...the one where I thought I really shared a special connection with her. I realized that it was pretty mediocre at best. I just didn't know it at the time because I didn't know anything else. So while travelling I met so many more people that I connected with on a much higher level because...well they're all interested in travelling and experiencing other cultures as well...on top of the other everyday similarities that most people share.

Anyhow now I'm back home and that girl I dated for 3 years wants to reunite with me. 3 years ago I probably would have given it another chance. but now, There is not a chance in hell I will get back with her! I did meet up with her, just to see how the past two years have treated her.... We talked over a couple drinks and goddamn did I get bored quick. never again never never never ever.

18. Posted by indiabound (First Time Poster 1 posts) 7y

I am looking at a similar situation. I've been with my boyfriend about a year & a half, and we're living together. My trip starts this summer and will be at minimum 3 months, but more if I can afford it. He's been really supportive of me going for a few months, but I know he doesn't want me to, and if I stay longer it might be a dealbreaker. There's no option for me to travel with him, as he owns a business and can't leave the country for long periods of time.

I know if I didn't go I would be bitter and it would hurt our relationship down the road anyway. So my advice is to go, and don't overthink it. But keep in mind, you'll probably end up hooking up with people you meet on the road, so be prepared to either have a more open relationship, deal with guilt, or break up. That may seem harsh, but I don't see travel as something negotiable when it's an important part of your life. Although, I also think that there are couples that can hang in there and have a great relationship when the traveler gets home!

Best of luck and have fun!!

Post 19 was removed by a moderator
20. Posted by auby (Budding Member 8 posts) 7y

I am currently traveling apart from my bf of one year, it has been a month and a half and I will be back after a total of three and a half months. Both of us have found it rather difficult to be apart but aside from it being a great experience to travel, it can be crucial to your relationships longevity to go! If you really want to go and you don't because your 'held back' by your relationship, you will certainly always resent it in the back of your mind. This in itself can ruin a relationship! You will start to feel suffocated or trapped or something similar. It is so important to be able to pursue your own passions, it makes you better and in turn the relationship better too. Web cams let you see eachother!

You should go, especially considering that she says it is OK with her- thats a keeper who says that! A year though may be too long. I had never traveled before I left and what I discovered is that you get used to a place quicker than you would think. I would recommend going for closer to 6-8 months. You can work a bit and travel a bit. I think that this is enough time to really experience what it is like to live somewhere totally different. It will be enough time to experience self changes too- just be sure to go somewhere that is quite different to get the most out of your time. Keep in mind though that you will be tempted everyday to hook up with someone you meet- no matter how much you love her, the desire to get it on will not 100% go away because your only human! Maybe it is easier for the girl to travel because it is easier for her to resist hooking up then it is for a guy to (in general). That will be the real test-good luck.

Another idea is to allow eachother to hook up with people while you are apart. If you go for a year, you should try to set that up. It is a long time. Hey- maybe she wouldn't mind that rule herself...you have been together for a while!

It will be easier for her if she has something new to do. Or else it could feel like a big hole is in her life, where you used to be! Maybe she can learn something new or get a second job, something like that. Also, she could maybe meet you at the end of your traveling for a few weeks of travel together.

I hope you go and it works out. It is worth the pain of not being together. Be extra sure to make your time really worth it. Get used to the idea of having exercise restraint or deal with hooking up with people (if you make agreement) while you are still talking to eachother often, which could be confusing.

No offence to the people who say it but I wouldn't pay too much attention to people who say you have to break up, if I were you. Especially if you have such a good relationship together. The people who say this maybe don't see the value in a healthy fulfilling relationship

Good luck!