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A forum of personalities and not topics

Travel Forums Off Topic A forum of personalities and not topics

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1. Posted by Swept Away (Travel Guru 1113 posts) 7y

"We all have a need to feel that we belong, so come with me inside, inside my velvet rope"

But with diversity of culture, race, gender and age, the most pathetic way to relate to others is by having a common enemy. It happens in hostels. Some people live in hostel and what is simple chat among strangers in the lobby is a CAREER and a Life to some hostel dwellers.

The problem arises when egos are bruised. I've lived in hostels and seen how daily chats in the lobby is no different from online forums. Except that in the hostels, people can get PHYSICAL.

Some people talk about the same topics and the same manner all the time. And since they live in the hostel, they are growing tired of listening to some topics. When new people arrive with new PERSONALITIES and communication skills, the old timers have the tendency to be intolerant. They resort to labelling, name calling, gossips and mud slingging. It is no longer about logic and reason, but egos larger than the Gobi dessert, clashing for that 15 minutes of infamy.

People who still sing of world peace have never been to a Britney Spears forum. Even people who worship the same pop princess can't CO EXIST in cyberspace. They end up killing each other, when some members becomes too strange for the convenience of other egos. What they forget is that they are on the forum of a pop star who advocates individuality and self expression. Paradoxically, anyone who becomes a bit too flashy gets percecuted,

The point is, not everyone lives online. We assume that our threads are read by people who don't even read our profile. Some members don't even state anything on their profile. But it is these anonymous members that are so quick to judge and get personal. People should respond to THREADS not People. We should therefore refrain from making assumptions about people's character and morality, base on what they write, especially if the post was made 60 years ago and is now rotting in the "What to do in Bangkok???" archives.

We are travellers and I believe most of us are very intelligent, open minded, grateful and happy. I have this faith because I meet such people in hostels. But those that live in hostels forget, that conversations in the lobby are just CHATS.... its neither negative or positive. We don't even ask for names until we get our third beer. Its an intellectual exchange or harmless flirting, but for some people a conversation is a meal time for the ego. So it breaks their heart if someone younger and happier arrives and does his own talk show.

There is nothing wrong in asking for attention. There is nothing wrong in being provocative, whether its a hostel or online forum. But its better to keep our egos inversely proportional with our topics. It is always about what we have to say and manner we say it should express our humanity, rather than the insecurity of a judgemental society.

Every thread is like a new film. Your OSCARS and Golden globe awarded performances, don't matter to a member who just SIGN IN. Let us assume that the people who respond to our thread do so because of the tittle and not because of WHO we are.

A person who has 50 post has the same freedom of expression as a person who has 18,000 post.

A successful forum attracts a diverse audience from different cultures and races. It welcomes ideas and celebrates democracy. It is about finding what we have in common rather than emphasis our difdferences.

A successful forum is not all about, "WHAT TO DO IN BANGKOK" or "How to get a Visa for Thailand". That is why being egotistical is not necessarily evil, if you know that at the end of the day, it is just an exchange of thoughts and not a religion that inspire you to hate.

2. Posted by tleb (Full Member 117 posts) 7y

That was finely written and said.

[ Edit: Edited on 22-May-2009, at 09:20 by tleb ]

3. Posted by beerman (Respected Member 1631 posts) 7y

Very interesting and telling about you Swept.......rather more so because quite a few of your posts have been about people in hostels that irritate you and your sense of how the world should behave.

Oh, and funny thing.....you'd be surprised how many people come on TP just to find out what to do in Bangkok, or Singapore, or New York, or Paris, or even Greater Downtown Cleveland, without really wanting to know the intricacies and social goings-on on a travel website. They just want to know if anyone can answer their question.

If you could, would you explain how being egotistical is a good thing? Perhaps it is possible to be confident in oneself and carry on a solid discussion without telling people how good you are. Humility has an even greater place in society than ego.

4. Posted by Swept Away (Travel Guru 1113 posts) 7y

Quoting beerman

If you could, would you explain how being egotistical is a good thing? Perhaps it is possible to be confident in oneself and carry on a solid discussion without telling people how good you are. Humility has an even greater place in society than ego.

I am have written hundreds of "Where to go, How much, how much and how much to" threads. Some people were very helpful... I was shocked to learn that according to those who made a scholarly content analysis of my threads, that the bulk of my threads are negative. I don't mind if people get that impression. I should be flattered I made an impression. The thing that annoys me is that they READ ALL MY THREADS and RUSH to shit on it. Hoping to Provoke me to stoop to their level by resorting to libelious statement, that could make me break forum rules. I don't want blood to be spilled on my threads, so when I am stuck in my hostel due to the RAINS or a very bad cold, I find time to write them an email, Unlike my stalkers, I don't need to validate or justify my disgust towards another member by writing it on a thread.

I never write on "OFF TOPIC", for some reasons. But I was lead here, after my TRAVEL related thread was MOVED and later I was surprised that people responded to a thread that I wish I could just DELETE. Some traveller got the point of my wordy thread, which proved that it wasn't OFF TOPIC. The phrasing or tone was a bit to poetic, because I was expressing GUILT over an attitude that I develope as defense mechanism or means to save money.

I abhor EGOTISTICAL HYPOCRISY in all forms. But I don't like FALSE HUMILITY either. Let us not assume that people are trying to prove that their shit is better than others, with the manner they express themselves. Because though literature, as "Isadora" said is a reflection of ourselves, what we are in the moment we scribble our novel, is not who we are the moment we log out of this site. I used the word SCRIBBLE, because I don't labor to produce my text. This inspite of my ultra poor typing skills.

Briefly, what I hope to achieve through this text.

1. MEMBERS SHOULD REFRAIN FROM INSULTING OTHER MEMBERS, coz its pathetic and uncivilized. Its okay to be bored, its even okay to be a looser. BUT BE DISCREET about it. Insulting people and shitting on their threads with the hope of influencing the way other people deal with a member, is the lowest you can get in this forum.

2. If you dont like bad news, dont watch the news.

3. Bullying and forming cliques is sooo HIGH SCHOOL, (or is that only in American movies).

Lets have fun! Anyone is free to write me hate mails. I wont even respond.
Just keep out of my threads if you don't like the tittle.

"Hatred is convenient and as a traveller, I never go for the convenient."

5. Posted by wouterrr (Travel Guru 3379 posts) 7y

Yo swept away, I see your point. But I think that the moderators on Travellerspoint are pretty strict and doing their work decently and do their research before deleting a post (there were times here that frustrated me big time). Have you seen the situation on other travelforums, or webforums in general? I love travellerspoint now because its pretty civilised. The rules are pretty clear and I always try to watch my words as much as possible while I haven't done that always in the beginning of my TP "membership". I agree with you that insulting others is wrong. But you may be critical towards each other, but in a gentle and well-mannered way (I have to admit that I haven't been showing this behavior myself at all times). Freedom of opinion is fantastic but it goes too far when it comes to insulting people.

6. Posted by Swept Away (Travel Guru 1113 posts) 7y

Quoting wouterrr

The rules are pretty clear and I always try to watch my words as much as possible while I haven't done that always in the beginning of my TP "membership". I agree with you that insulting others is wrong.

No one has ever deleted my post. What if I confess I never read the forum rules?

The moderators here are cool and should get a noble peace prize for not deactivating my account. But some are a bit bitchy, but I don't hate bitches. I love Meryll Strip in that Prada movie. You can say that a member is stupid, if you wrote a POEM, an essay or something more in intelligent than simple stating, "You are crazy", "You are so sick", because such statement only reflects the way you see yourself. Or if a member has the skill to write, he should address the arguement, say that the arguement is crazy and you can bitch about his ideas, but you should never attack the person. Unless you want to give people the idea that you are so bored with your life.

This is not a moralistic forum. Though no one ever talked about "go go bars", inspite of the zillions of Thai related topics.
I am not saying, that I have been very nice. We should be nasty, but there is such a thing as GOOD TASTE.

I am not very sensitive. I just got really sick of having the same people shitting on all my threads with the effort of killing the topic, by making the topic about me or the person they think I am.

[ Edit: Fixed quote ]

7. Posted by Utrecht (Moderator 5596 posts) 7y

Quoting Swept Away

The moderators here are cool and should get a noble peace prize for not deactivating my account.

Noble or Nobel;)

[ Edit: Fixed quote ]

8. Posted by Swept Away (Travel Guru 1113 posts) 7y

Quoting Utrecht

Quoting Swept Away

The moderators here are cool and should get a noble peace prize for not deactivating my account.

Noble or Nobel;)

Uhm, I meant Noble... Nobel price? that would be too much.

9. Posted by Redpaddy (Inactive 1004 posts) 7y

Stay green....... Long live the cabbage.

10. Posted by Swept Away (Travel Guru 1113 posts) 7y

I just lost the privilege to REPLY to message sent to my MAIL BOX!

I must have written something that will change how the world works.

Someone really Happy with his life, reported me for something... Grow up!

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