I'm here all week.
I'm here all week.
I have one for u guys...(it's a little long...)
In Pensylvania, all the vampires were starving to death, as all the live people went away from there...
So, during the night, they all went out to hunt some victim and suck all the blood they couldn't get for days...
But, like the other nigths, they all come back unsuccessfully, very very upset...
Then the last one comes home all filthy with blood, even dizzy...
All the vampires get shocked and curious where he found so much blood, so one of them comes and asks: "Where did you find so much blood? Is there a village near here that we ignore?"
The vampire answers: "Come here with me, I'll show you trought the window
-Look (pointing out of the window), can you see that hill down there?
-Can you see those trees after that?
-So, can you see that big wall behind them?
-Neither could I!"
I like it Michelle,
This isnt intended to offend, theyre just good jokes......anyways;
Did you hear about the gay wizard?
He disappeared with a poof.
What do you get hanging from apple trees?
What does DNA stand for?
National Dyslexic Association.
I really do apologise if these offended anyone, i realise sore arms are no laughing matter.
ha! ha! ah those are great-perhaps coz i'm having a really great week and would laugh at anything at the mo-but really they gave me something to laugh about-nice one weejoe!
Again, as with WeeJoe, this isn't intended to offend either... I am not racist in anyway whatsoever and will happilly take the piss out of myself as much as anyone else... but I received this in a text message a few months ago, and I'm still laughing at it...
If the answer is "INFATUATION C**T!!", what is the question..??
"A Paki walks into a chippy and says, 'How do you cook chips..?'"
1 more, tho not offensive at all....
Whats brown and sticky..??
A brown stick!!
OK... I think maybe I really should get my coat!!
I think youre on safe ground Airfix, i think we're all open-minded enough to know that some jokes only work if the jokes on someone. As an Irishman living in England, ive taken my fair share of 'daft Paddy' jokes, some of them are very good!
An oldie, but a good one..
Q: "What's got four wheels and flies?"
A: "A garbage truck"
Another pathetic joke that never fails to have me in stitches whenever I tell someone....
Q. What's orange and sounds like a parrot..??
A. A carrot
Bwaaaa! Airfix, that's my new favourite...
Have you heard about the man who drowned in a bowl of Museli?
A strong currant pulled him in.
An Ice-Cream man was found on the floor of his van, face down and covered with crushed nuts and strawberry syrup.
The police think he topped himself.
Me: Doctor, Doctor, I've got a steering wheel stuck down my pants!
Dr: Oh, that looks nasty, does it hurt?
Me: Yes, its driving me nuts.
this thread is like a fairy ring, i don't think i'll ever leave...