Skip Navigation

Something that gets on my nerves

Travel Forums General Talk Something that gets on my nerves

1. Posted by jessyt81 (Budding Member 18 posts) 7y

I've received messages from some people from travellers websites (such as this one) who appear to be very interested in meeting up at a common destination... We send some messages back and forth, trying to get to know each other a little better..and then I tell them that I have a boyfriend and I never hear from that person again. Is it me or are some people using these forums as a dating site?

2. Posted by Sander (Moderator 4809 posts) 7y

Too frequestly, too many people are trying to, yeah. :/ We try to stamp down on it as much as we can (you should see the really sleazy attempts which are made on the public forums every so often), but obviously there's no oversight with private messages, and we believe that the usefulness of the private messaging system is such that it's worth the alternative.
If people are too blatantly bothering you, you can report the message, which will send a copy of the message to one of the admins for looking at and taking action upon, but I guess what you're experiencing is never that blatant.
Probably the most useful thing I can recommend is to mention your boyfriend somewhere in your profile already (and/or set that "marital status" select box) so these would be romantics won't even contact you in the first place. But yes, it's stupid that that'd be necessary.

(I've pondered in the past on if it would be useful to actually bring it out in the open and have it more confined by having a "travel dating" subforum or somesuch, but I suspect that wouldn't be a very successful experiment.)

3. Posted by Buzzcock (Full Member 178 posts) 7y

Quoting jessyt81

I've received messages from some people from travellers websites (such as this one) who appear to be very interested in meeting up at a common destination... We send some messages back and forth, trying to get to know each other a little better..and then I tell them that I have a boyfriend and I never hear from that person again. Is it me or are some people using these forums as a dating site?

Some people may be, but speaking as a single male myself I wouldn't as there are already other sites on the internet for that, should I wish to make use of them. I would however find it awkward arranging to meet up with someone (male or female) who is 'in a relationship' with partner tagging along. The word 'gooseberry' springs to mind. I'd rather meet up with other single people, irrespective of gender.

4. Posted by sapphyre (Respected Member 418 posts) 7y

Quoting Buzzcock

I would however find it awkward arranging to meet up with someone (male or female) who is 'in a relationship' with partner tagging along. The word 'gooseberry' springs to mind. I'd rather meet up with other single people, irrespective of gender.

I plenty agree. It's always odd to hang out with only a couple I feel, though if it's a whole group with a number of couples and singles then it doesn't matter that much. It also depends if you're travelling with your partner or not.

But I do think some use all sorts of forums as dating sites. Maybe they're looking for people with similar interests ie travel in this case and think this could be a place to start. I had a guy who created an account here on TP just to send me a PM to ask me to go on a beach holiday with him He has never used any other function or participated in any TP activity, not even one forum post.