I've just been on Friends Re-united, thought I'd see what everyone from school was doing 8 years on, cos I'm nosey like that.
Well Firstly I can't believe how many people have been travelling. Loads of people! Bit dissapointed- that's kind of pissed on my chips.
And secondly, how little people change when you read the description of what they're doing now. eg
Most people just say "working in teaching/sales/research or whatever and live in blah-di-blah"
While some people, in this case show-offy types (the ones that would expect to be prom queen if we had such thing in england) still need to add detail going:
"I got a first class degree in such-and-such then went all round the world and then my boyfriend proposed in Paris and I'm living in a city loft apartment with great job" bleugh
As far as I'm concerned you move on and meet new people and who cares what people from the past think- as long as you're happy. Who do you need to impress?
So why am I still bothered! Have i got some issues or do other people get like this?????????!
You know, from my personal experience, I'd agree with you on the count that people from high school never really change. I mean obviously they do change from when you were 17 year olds who "ruled the school" so to speak (we finish high school at 11th grade and then go to 2 years of college before uni in Quebec), considering they've had more experience in life than they used to. But essentially, the same insecurities remain (perhaps hidden a bit deaper this time), and the same "hierarchy" remains, to those it mattered to most (the show offy types).
I've always told myself that it doesn't matter what others (especially from the past that I barely have any contact with) think, but oddly enough sometimes you do care, and that's probably cause seeing or hearing them takes you back to a time when it mattered. I'd have the same reaction that you did if one of my high school mates was bragging about how lucky she was in all aspects of life. You'd just expect them to have grown up from the "I'm cooler than you are" bit that takes over in high school. It's really quite annoying to hear people talking like that so it's all normal to be miffed.
Lucky for me, my high school was a tiny one (31 students in my graduating class! ), and although some have been doing some travelling that has sparked my envy, most haven't so hee hee it's an evil pleasure to be one of the more travelled ... (even though I wouldn't be considered the globetrotter )
You know, from my personal experience, I'd agree with you on the count that people from high school never really change.
I've always told myself that it doesn't matter what others (especially from the past that I barely have any contact with) think, but oddly enough sometimes you do care, and that's probably cause seeing or hearing them takes you back to a time when it mattered.
I think this is the crux of it. I have found based on my own dealings with my old school mates that when we get together we fall back into certain roles. It's almost like the expectation of how someone should act takes over. When you are with people who you went to high school with, you start to act like you were in high school again.
So I don't think it's so much that they haven't changed, but rather that when you see them it's more comfortable for everyone involved if we all just act like we did when we knew each other, rather than spending the time getting to know someone anew.
Wow! Did you not like anyone at your schools folks? Everyone in our year always seemed to get on really well with eachother, the popular people were only popular because they were nice and everyone liked them.
The Friends Reunited thing is weird though, i just make up stories about what i'm doing that are so far fetched, no-one in their right mind would believe them, i change it every few months when im bored just to keep my simple self entertained! So far ive been married to a lady goat-herder in Andalucia, suspended by my ankles in a cave in the Tirol and embarking on my first world tour with Argentinas 'Tango Pasion'.
I like to think i bring an air of surreality to peoples searches for old school chums.
It's not that we hate the people from our high school (well I can only speak for myself anyway), it's just that there are some that were annoying. Annoying in many different aspects (fakeness was big in my high school ), and it's just weird to see that some people maitain their adolescent attitudes. I didn't have any real problems with my classmates, just that the operative phrase in describing my class was "Keeping up appearances". It just reminds me of Hyacinth Bucket (pronounced bouquet ) and her flitting about to impress people of high importance... There wasn't much room for originality, which sucks cause then people all start to resemble in personality and style. So that's pretty much it. No hatred, just annoyance. And it seems to me that you had a nice high school... a lot of the popular people in my high school were not popular because they were nice... I don't know if that's the case everywhere though.
I think you've hit the nail on the head. There's so much keeping up appearances. Every year when I go back to my home town, everyone gathers in the same pub on Christmas eve and tries to make their job sound more interesting than it is.
By the time I got to the end of sixth form (what you do from 16-18 here)I realised that my group of friends were actually pretty cool in their own way, and it didn't matter about the rest. Most of the people I liked have either been honest and said their jobs are boring or had a laugh and said "anyone need a bridesmaid" etc.
Anyway, my entry is now a bit more impressive as I have had a starring role in a Bollywood movie, my own chat show in Mexico and a farm in New Zealand amongst other things. Who says I've not done anything since school!
And i'm bloody glad I've not got a husband or kids yet!
Bollywood movie eh? Clever. I would have chosen forensic scientist but Bollywood seems so much more exotic! hahahaha And perhaps become an archeaologist and discovered the treasures hidden beneath the ocean in the West Indies!
I know I shouldn't judge others, and this may sound snobby but why is staying in the same small town and having two kids and a husband by the age of 25 something to boast about?
I'm not impressed with Friends re-united except there are a couple of people I may contact including a really old childhood friend who I've not seen since about 1990 after moving away.
Hey, a few weeks ago i watched "Romy and Michelle's High School Reunion" on TV and that reminded me of all this.
So why do you guys go to reunions?
To get pissed off, because you meet people u actually dont wanna meet?
I graduated 1,5 years ago, so there havent been any reunions yet.
But last week there was the ball of my school again (like every year) and the only reason why I didnt go there was, because I wasn't keen on meeting my old classmates.
Most of them would just act as usual: being curious, asking question like 'what have u been doing?' and then talk behind ur back.
I just hang out with people who like to do the same and have the same attitude towards life.
Why defend urself for doing things u wanna do (like travelling- waisting ur time, like quitting ur job to go back to NZ- r u crazy- etc. )
I wanna see the world, before I settle down and have my own family.
So one day I will be a Mummy as well, living in the same town, doing the same job...
An interesting topic.
I had two school reunions this year, as I went to two different high schools.
The first high school was a local government school with most people attending living in the local area and attending the local primary schools.
The interesting thing about this reunion was how competitive everyone was in what they'd been doing for the last 20 years. There was certainly a lot of insecurity.
The second high school was an exclusive/expensive private school where most of the student's parents were very well off (except mine!).
The interesting thing about this reunion, was how NORMAL every one. I expected to be surrounded by high court judges, doctors, lawyers, etc but most people were salesmen, real estate agents, school teachers, etc and yet there was no competitiveness or insecurity.
So the people from "working class" backgrounds were competitive and insecure, and the people from the "snobbish backgrounds", most of whom had normal jobs, were very cool about their place in the world.