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your thoughts...especially if you moved to be with someone

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21. Posted by Cool Paul (Travel Guru 611 posts) 6y

UPDATE: What's that saying? "If you love something let it go ..."

so the past two months, I decided to cut back on talking to her because the whole situation just frustrated me. I know I'm in love with her, and I think she feels the same about me. But we are both commitment phobes. which makes dropping the L-word abit tricky, even if we both feel it, forget about the pressure on the relationship created by moving to another country.

So I've just been working all the time, saving, and dealing with Philly. She went back to school and has been very busy herself.

well, now I'm growing tired of my job, which I knew would happen. I don't think my friend is still planning on moving to ireland anymore. I've started looking at apartments, and going on boring dates with boring women.

Fast forward to Wednesday. I get a phone call from the Galway girl. it was the first time we talked in over two months. We talked for a while, it was great like it normally is. lots of joking around blah blah blah ... I mentioned that I've been looking for an apartment in the recent weeks, but that I'm not having any luck and that I'm not really enjoying life in philly anymore.

She says, "well I'm going to be getting my own place soon. If you want you can move in with me, you'd be set up here while you look for work. It'd be great to have you here!"

We talked about it a little, Now Apartment hunting is on hold, and I'm going to start to look into visas. I think I'm going to have to wait a few more months but I think I can convince my employer to keep me on as a freelancer so that I can work from there. maybe if I do that I can go over on a visitors visa at first just to see how things go for a month or two, and if it goes well I can get a work visa.

22. Posted by Sam I Am (Admin 5588 posts) 5y

See, play hard to get and it all comes together ;) Great to hear Paul, and thanks for keeping us posted!!

23. Posted by sunset1999 (Full Member 108 posts) 5y

Yay for you Paul!! Good luck with everything!

24. Posted by Purdy (Travel Guru 3546 posts) 5y

Not really a similar situation but l did move for love. Not too far but from Belfast to London (or just outside) that was coming up on 6 months ago - it took me 6 weeks to find work which l really enjoy. Was back home few weekends ago - and it was a joy to go home, see friends and family BUT l know l made the right decision and glad l took the risk and went for it. However, l didnt need visas, as was within the UK and l was already in a serious relationship we just moved it further and into a more permanent situation - but best thing lve ever done - there are little things that could be better but in general things are perfect, loving the area, exploring, meeting new people and as for the relationship well its stronger now than it ever was previously.

Good luck and l hope everything works out for you.

25. Posted by Cool Paul (Travel Guru 611 posts) 5y

I'm bringing back an oldie...

JUICY UPDATE:

so...I never moved to Ireland. I never even went back to visit. I just couldn't do it. as a graphic designer it just seems to difficult to find work in galway plus getting a visa is damn near impossible without a bachelor's degree, and mostly because I just can't imagine living in Galway. No offense, but it's just not for me, I'm a city boy.

so anyway, last fall, me and the Galway girl had a talk and went separate ways. We went from talking all the time to nothing. She went back to school and I got an apartment in the heart of Philadelphia. Fast forward a few months and I get a call from her, she said she misses me, but I told her I can't move, so unless she moves here I have to move on. So I started dating like a mad man in a poor attempt to move on. My life is like a bad sitcom, I've been out with 12 different women in the past 5 months. It's absurd, I know but I really wanted to give this city a fair chance before I really start to think about moving somewhere else. So I met a few weirdos and freaks, some nice, some fun, but nothing really great came from it. I didn't really connect with anyone. I can't stop comparing everyone to her. It's a problem. It really is.

After a few months of that, I get another call out of the blue. so we're talking for a few hours and she's saying she wants to get out of ireland after classes and quite possibly come to America in the fall! We talked, and talked. She knows I'm not tied down to this city. but I told her she is welcome to stay with me here, and we can see how it goes, if it works it works and we'll figure it out, if not well then at least we'll know. So now it looks like it may actually be happening. I want to get excited but at the same time I've been dealing with this for two and a half years and I'm kind of thinking to myself, "I'll believe when I see it."

In the meantime we made plans to meet up in London for a week and go to Galway for a bit in a month around her birthday! so yeah... there's the update on my ridiculous life. Half terrible sitcom, half terrible romantic comedy.

oh yeah. if you have any great birthday gift ideas, I'm all ears!

26. Posted by Herr Bert (Moderator 1384 posts) 5y

Wow that's is a great update. Just take it as it comes. It's like you say: If it works it works, if not you'll know and you can move on. What do you have to loose? not a lot, but what can you gain? well, a hell of a lot. Good luck.

The present thing is easy. It seems to me you will be the present. ;)

27. Posted by Sam I Am (Admin 5588 posts) 5y

I have to agree with René; a great update and I'm glad to hear you guys are meeting up again!

28. Posted by deadbride (Budding Member 5 posts) 5y

Hey there,

For my part, as a girl or a young woman or whatever, I should say that If you are not sure about how she feels, dont move in or you may be disappointed. Because when you give your all to the wrong person, it can cause a backlash.

As an advice, go there again for a few weeks maybe, spend time with her as much as possible, open up clearly by showing her how serious you are and see how she reacts. If she is also in love, she will make you know about it, then you can move in. But dont risk anything before you are sure of everything.

Edit: I sent my response without reading the update it seems, should say that I'm glad you didnt move in to Ireland and she is coming to you now :P

I hope it will work for you both!

Take care.

[ Edit: Edited on 21-Aug-2011, at 15:32 by deadbride ]

29. Posted by ttt1 (Budding Member 3 posts) 5y

Carry on.
Good story.

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