Just wondering if I can grab some advice from you.
I'm a 21 year old Aussie and have been planning to backpack overseas since I was about 15. Next year I'm planning on doing 2 months in a summer camp in USA then travel round the USA and possibly europe. The only thing is, I'm at a point where I'm ready to go but my parents are in denial. Whenever I try to talk about it, they brush me off or change the subject. They just don't really understand why I want to travel so badly. I've been to the UK twice and they think that's enough for me, but both times it was for less than 3 weeks and I didn't really see all I wanted to see. They think I'm being reckless, even though for both trips I worked to pay for it myself. Whenever we talk about this, it just ends up in a huge debate and I end up in tears lol. I understand that I live with them and am really close with them, but I'm just getting sick of all the fighting - they get offended that I want to leave (even though it's not about that), and that I won't be able to support myself, I'll get in trouble, etc. I don't want to sound ungrateful (I'm not) but it's just frustrating sometimes. I know in the end I'm going to do what I feel is right, and I know they only do it because they care, but does anyone have any practical advice to do with parents. Just feel like I'm fighting a losing battle here.
[ Edit: Edited on 04-Jan-2011, at 03:43 by jade2837 ]
Lucky to have such thoughtful parents in one way - huh?
It might be time to tell them that you can actually do your own thing and look after yourself quite nicely - thank you very much, at the same time.
Try and think of something that they like - which you don't quite understand. Then tell them that your love of travel is the same - only the other way round. If that makes any sense. They're only thinking of your welfare - and it's a big world out there that they might feel is a bit scary. Some people like flying, others don't. Some say it was an awful flight, others thought it great. It's the same for many things.
Go for it - the planet awaits you. Just give 'em a big hug when you step out the door and let them know you'll be in touch.
My father never understood why I wanted to travel, either, and my mom was just a worrier. You are an adult now and it's time to assert your independence, especially if you are paying for the trip yourself. Assure them that you will keep in touch often while you are gone so they know you are alright. If it starts a big argument, don't talk about it. It's your adult life and you don't need to share every single aspect of it with your parents. Traveling is the best way for young people to become more mature, worldly and self-reliant. Frankly, that's something many parents have a hard time dealing with because in a way it means you don't need them to take care of you anymore.
Tell them that you are going to be going to countries that will understand English so you will be able to communicate with them. Register with the embassy just in case anything happens to you, the government will know where you are. Remind your parents that you will contact them regularly (like maybe once per week) so then they know you are still alive.
Tell them that they raised you to be independent so now you are using what they taught you (assuming that they did). Try and get a credit card as a just in case emergency money if you get robbed or something. Tell them that you are doing all that you can to protect yourself and to keep yourself out of trouble (things like keeping cash in separate places, keeping your passport and important documents with you at all times even in the shower). Make sure they have your itinerary and photocopies of important documents and places where you are going to or intending to stay.
Make sure your phone is on global roaming or that you buy a phone card in the country that you are staying the longest. Remember that the US phones, you pay for incoming as well as outgoing calls. They are a rip off!!!!
Remind them that you have travelled by yourself before and you were always careful.
Tell them that you are an adult and you know that you will always be their little girl, but they will have to let go sometime. At least this is only a trip and you're intending to go home, and not move out totally to another country (if you do want to move, I would recommend introducing the topic gradually over the years while you save for the move).
By the way... are you the only child or the only girl child?
Anyway good luck. I've been there done that but it wasn't for a holiday, it was a move to the other side of the world. At least I worked on my parents for about a year until they accepted that I was going to do it no matter what they said or however many guilt trips they put on me.
Parents always worry about their kids, and they're probably wanting you to settle down, raise a family and be successful. They probably see your wanderlust as reckless wandering, but since I'm another reckless wanderlust, I see where you're coming from. It is true that you might not become a millionaire by traveling, but just imagine what wonderful things it will do for your mind!
There comes a time when we all have to do what we just need to do, and not let the influence of parents or friends affect us so much. You are 21, you're an adult! Make those reservations and then don't ask your parents if you can go - TELL THEM YOU'RE GOING. That's the end of it, and move on to more important endeavors. Don't look back at your parents so much - the important part of your life is just starting, and you need to concentrate on that.
You have to live you life, mon amie. As a parent, I understand wanting the best for one's children but how do us parents truly know what is right? Totally cool that they love you, fine that they may have a set idea or expectation of what you should become, but it is truly up to you to pick what path you take.
Invest in you life, but such investing is not always monetary. Learn, meet people and enjoy new experiences. Good luck!!!!
Just move out of home & get your own place to live...
Yes it's time to move on - I sent my daughter off to the UK at 18 for a year . she's still alive , in fact , she blossomed . We only get so much time , Love your parents - and send them a postcard
Paternal instincts - my mum is the same. She often gives me cold feet by downtalking and brushing talks of travel that I plan. I guess you really can't relate until you are a parent yourself!
Ahh you poor thing! If you can do it, I would print everyones replies and leave it out for them to read. It's coming from the heart what your saying and if they are fair people they will consider that you only have one shot on planet earth. They need to release you to ensure you come back.
Interested to hear how the story unfolds.