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Hostile Takeover by Twitter

Travel Forums Off Topic Hostile Takeover by Twitter

1. Posted by beerman (Respected Member 1631 posts) 5y

I couldn't believe my eyes when I saw this story on the internet this morning:

Reuters -
In a bold and highly coordinated two-pronged attack in the early morning hours, agents of the corporation known as "Twitter" simultaneously attacked the company headquarters of, determined to make it a subsidiary. Residents in both Oslo, Norway and Melbourne, Australia awoke to gunfire blistering through the calm. Elite "Twitterati", highly trained mercenaries of the shadowy company, descended on the two homes of the owners of and immediately claimed ownership of the site. There were no reports of injuries to the owners or their families, but 6 of the intruders were fatally wounded by applesauce and whipped peas flung with spoons by the children of the owners. Four of the mercenaries managed to escape the creamy onslaught, and, while fleeing the scenes, contacted their headquarters signaling their success. Tweets and re-tweets rang out across the world, and a stunned global populace simply stood in silence. In a 140 character statement from the CEO of Twitter, victory was theirs. "We will not stand idly by as travelers around the globe have access to the unlimited resources of and the community s" - (next message) - "pirit shared by hundreds of thousands of like-minded people when we can control their every thought and action through short messages and" - (next message) - "horrendously misspelled text-speak." The CEO continued, saying that from this point forward, every thread and every blog posted to shall be no more than 140 characters in length, and photos uploaded can be no more than 40x40 low resolution pixels. "Travelers of the world must realize that we are the world, we are the children, and tomorrow will be a better day", demanded the CEO. "All forum posts will be preceded by hash tags - #I want to go to Mongolia, for example".
Fox News jumped on the story, and quotes coming out of the main newsroom were classically nationalistic. "It's about time these foreign owned companies were in the hands of good, God-Fearing Americans. How are we to survive as a nation if Oslov" -(next message) - "ians and Melbourneites have control of the traveling public. There should be full body scans, fingerprinting, and blood tests for anyone w" - (next message) - "anting to travel to countries other than the good old US of A. It's our duty as patriots to ensure the security of this country through force and intimidation".
Ownership of the previously-known-as were somewhat sublime during their news interviews. Sam-I-Am was reported as saying "I was just finishing a nice beer and getting ready to settle in for the evening, when suddenly 8 armed men kicked their way through the screen door on my back porch. If it wasn't for the lethality of whipped peas, we'd be goners". His brother Peter was equally shaken: "It was just after lunch here, and I was writing more code for the site, when these 8 lunatics armed with smart phones and machine guns leaped through the living room window. Good thing I have those chickens in the yard, because they made such a noise that it distracted the mercenaries long enough for my boy to fling his lunch at them. I really don't understand what these people want. We love social media".

Crazy world, isn't it?

[ Edit: Edited on 02-Apr-2011, at 11:11 by beerman ]

2. Posted by Isadora (Travel Guru 13926 posts) 5y

Resistance is futile... (Yup, less than 140 characters.)

3. Posted by james (Travel Guru 4136 posts) 5y

That home brew kicking in again Beerman?

4. Posted by Sam I Am (Admin 5588 posts) 5y

Hehe, so that's who those 8 men were who kicked over my beer. Bastards! Where do you and Isa come up with this stuff beerman?! Or is it really the home brew as James suggested? :) Margit's been to a wedding with nothing but home brew served and apparently it was the craziest wedding ever... ;)

5. Posted by beerman (Respected Member 1631 posts) 5y

Well, I was late for the April Fools joke, but I had the idea (possibly fueled by rum ), and I couldn't resist. Reminded me a little of the old TP Novel.....I miss those days.....

6. Posted by Peter (Admin 5791 posts) 5y

Yeah, those darn @Twitterati banging down my door after #lunch! How dare they?! Thankfully Miles is indeed an excellent #ThrowerOfFood , so

7. Posted by Peter (Admin 5791 posts) 5y

he took care of them easily. May snuck up on one of them, stole his phone and posted gobbledigook on his twitter profile. That aught to

8. Posted by Peter (Admin 5791 posts) 5y

teach them eh?!

9. Posted by Rraven (Travel Guru 5924 posts) 5y

Priceless !!