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Adopted Children

Travel Forums Off Topic Adopted Children

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11. Posted by noemagosa (Full Member 355 posts) 11y

I grew up with a neighbour (a korean girl) who was adopted by a French couple...

In that case, she arrived in France at the age of 5, so knew that her parents where not "biological". Later, as soon as she had the opportunity, she made a trip to her native land and met her biological family! ;)

12. Posted by MattXIII (Full Member 272 posts) 11y

Your right isadora, there are very good reasons. Foster carers are told what they can say and what they can't. That's what they're paid for. Also the children at the company my parents foster for are all kids with harrowing backgrounds, my lil bruv knows what happened to him and because he is such a little git he's moved from house to house......ALOT. My parents are his last hope before he goes into a care home. They're sticking with him, but it's really dragging them down, i'm very proud of them. He also has detachment problems, he has the ability to be cared for, for months by someone but be able to just get moved away without a single problem about never seeing them again. He cannot form attachments to people. So even if he did see his parents then he wouldn't care anyway.

13. Posted by Isadora (Travel Guru 13926 posts) 11y

Hey Matt,

Sounds like a very big mess. Best of luck to your parents and I admire them for wanting to see this one through, even at their own emotional expense. Hopefully someone will be able to break down the foster boy's walls...

In high school, my best friend's family worked with foster children. Her parents were in it more for the stipend they received from the state, but she was wonderful with the kids. We would make a point of including them in the different thing we did. Sometimes it made a difference and sometimes not - it was always worth the effort though.

14. Posted by MattXIII (Full Member 272 posts) 11y

Thank you my freind

He's only 10 and they've got him till 18....
He just needs someone with boundless energy to playfight with him.......namely me!

15. Posted by Isadora (Travel Guru 13926 posts) 11y

Matt,

You are more than welcome. If you ever just need to vent or discuss things, send me a PM.

Sometimes we just end up being the proverbial punching bag. But, if there's a breakthrough because of it - you will feel sooooo great!!!

Best of luck for the next eight years!!! Hope your body holds up!

16. Posted by Wocca (Inactive 3745 posts) 11y

Many adopted people that I've known, have found out when they turn old enough to get a driving licence or a passport. This is when there birth certificate is required. They then see who is recorded as their parents.

17. Posted by Isadora (Travel Guru 13926 posts) 11y

The laws in Iowa (my sttate of adoption) require the Adoptive parents names be listed as the birth parents. All other records are sealed by court order. (That may have changed in the past few years.)

18. Posted by MattXIII (Full Member 272 posts) 11y

Quoting isadora

Matt,

You are more than welcome. If you ever just need to vent or discuss things, send me a PM.

Sometimes we just end up being the proverbial punching bag. But, if there's a breakthrough because of it - you will feel sooooo great!!!

Best of luck for the next eight years!!! Hope your body holds up!

Thank you matey, i may need to do that when i go home for a visit in a week

He's not so bad, he's just stroppy. At least he dos'nt perform lude acts, or hurt himself or stuff like that like the others kids.

Actually one of my mates is Japanese, her parents left her in the UK when she was 8, she was adopted, but she's turned out ok. (Bit crazy, but thats what i love about her).

19. Posted by Isadora (Travel Guru 13926 posts) 11y

5{III]Actually one of my mates is Japanese, her parents left her in the UK when she was 8, she was adopted, but she's turned out ok. (Bit crazy, but thats what i love about her). [/quote]

Most of us have turned out quite okay, considering - and a bit crazy to boot! Some just take a bit more time, love and attention. Patience is a virtue in your situation. From your description of his "acting out", he seems to have quite a bit of anger he trying to deal with, and no one up until now has ever taken the time to help him with a non-physical outlet. He's got miles to go before he truly sleeps...

Looking forward to hearing how the visit home turns out. How long do you stay when you visit?

20. Posted by MattXIII (Full Member 272 posts) 11y

I'm going home for 2 weeks. But after that it'll be about 6 months before i get to see my family again.

You hit the nail on the head there, he's got ALOT of anger. He even
says he's got to go play football or sumink cos he's feeling like lashing out.

I'll let ya know :)