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What's The Best Way To Get Over A Failed Relationship?

Travel Forums Off Topic What's The Best Way To Get Over A Failed Relationship?

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1. Posted by Wocca (Inactive 3745 posts) 11y

Do other people (especially strangers)really want to know about your obsessions OR is it better to just see a counsellor ?

2. Posted by rickwales (Budding Member 13 posts) 11y

having tried many different styles of therapy, in order to get me over one particularly vicious and mental ex. i saved the money on counselling, and stabbed the bitch.... ok i'm serving 15 years for it, but i finally have closure....

3. Posted by ukmassage (Inactive 1052 posts) 11y

joking?

finding a new partner

4. Posted by lil j (Travel Guru 1303 posts) 11y

I think that when your with someone you tend to 'forget' about yourself almost and you become 'one' person, you don't get the chance to do the things 'you' want to do, which i think is a shame-most people make this mistake, you dont own each other!

So i think finding yourself and getting to do the things you want to do can be very refreshing! time to get to know yourself again and be at one with yourself-may sound silly but it's true!

5. Posted by Isadora (Travel Guru 13926 posts) 11y

Quoting Wocca

Do other people (especially strangers)really want to know about your obsessions OR is it better to just see a counsellor ?

Quoting lil j

So i think finding yourself and getting to do the things you want to do can be very refreshing! time to get to know yourself again and be at one with yourself-may sound silly but it's true!

Yes, I think others, including strangers, actually like knowing. Depending on the information, it gives them the chance to say, "Wow, my situation wasn't that bad" or "I can relate to that one". It can bolster self-esteem because no one is pointing out their faults at the same time. It's also a type of non-physical voyuerism (sp). It can be gossip without personally knowing the players.

Getting to know yourself again after a failed relationship is very important. It gives one time to regroup so that making the same mistakes and/or falling into the same routine a 2nd or 3rd time doesn't happen. If I had someone living with me at the time it failed, they definitely handed back the key as I showed them the door. Then I would start looking for a new apartment because it was a way to "start over again refreshed.

6. Posted by tway (Travel Guru 7273 posts) 11y

From past experience, women tend to need time alone and men tend to jump into another relationship. Everyone does things differently.

I'd say do both: therapy will give you a professional's perspective and help you look at the situation for what it really is, learn from it, and help you find ways to build yourself back up and move on. Friends and strangers will make you feel better by agreeing the insignificant other was a b**tard. ;)

And yes, talk to strangers! Sometimes it feels like a badge of pride that you lived through it, got over it and very happily moved on. People in the middle of it need to know they'll come out fine.

7. Posted by MattXIII (Full Member 272 posts) 11y

Travel.
Ended a three year relationship in september. We sat in a cafe in Egypt and talked. We decided that she wanted family,home etc. I wanted travel, adventure and experience.
I know it was immature especially as she had everything, house/car/LOTS of money, a great career. I was a kept man, but if i've tried the best and i wasn't happy, then obviously that wasn't the life i wanted.
So, i have to actually respect her by going out there and bloody doing the things i split up with her for. It's difficult as there has definatly been alot of my vitality sucked out, but you just gotta understand the reasons you split and use them.

8. Posted by Gelli (Travel Guru 2457 posts) 11y

Probably sounds heartless and strange, but I just get on with it. No reason to spill your life to strangers, burdern friends/family or waste money on a councellor.

9. Posted by samsara_ (Travel Guru 5353 posts) 11y

[quote=Gelli] I just get on with it. quote]

I agree, it's a lot easier to divorce yourself from past relationships/experiences if people arent reminding you about it/asking you if you are "okay" /giving you sympathetic hugs / commenting on the change in your eating habits every ten minutes.

Act like an Ice Queen on the outside, deal with it in your own time on the inside...

10. Posted by Bruce85 (Budding Member 54 posts) 11y

Be sure to have someone you can talk to if youu need it! and when you want to spend time alone do that! Think of yourself, do shopping or do some sports whatever! Life goes on, even without the other!
I would never spend money on a counsellor, a talk to a friend can have do the same, and it's not so expensive!