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A mystery wrapped in an enigma...

Travel Forums Off Topic A mystery wrapped in an enigma...

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51. Posted by tway (Travel Guru 7273 posts) 11y

I'm the same - which is why I asked the Wallflower question from I-can't-remember-what-post. I'm pretty shy in person until I get comfortable, but I write for a living so it's through writing that I express myself best. So it's here that I can be blunt and forward and cut a niche that I find so hard to do in a group of 30 at a crowded bar where I can't for the life of me talk over the music...

52. Posted by Isadora (Travel Guru 13926 posts) 11y

It's much easier to be part of a discussion in this type of format. Anonymity gives one a feeling of safety - it removes the physical aspects of conversation from the equation. There are no facial expressions and/or body language to interpret and no one can interrupt your train of thought mid way through. If someone says something that offends or angers you - it's done in a non-threating way and your choices are simple - respond or turn off the monitor. You are not obliged to do any of the things a face-to-face encounter requires. Again, anonymity allows you to be more truthful and out-going. People will judge you by what you have written and not by a combination of spoken words and physical attributes. Because of this, those in the forum who come to like and accept you will more than likely embrace you, if by chance or design, you meet in the real world. In other words, you've already cut through the bullshit part of meeting new people. It would be interesting to hear about those who do physically meet after getting to know one another here. Everyone has a certain image of the others in their mind's eye - it's an automatic response. But, in the flesh - does that image (other than that of a person's looks) change dramatically during/after the encounter...

53. Posted by tway (Travel Guru 7273 posts) 11y

Is it anonymity or is it feeling like you're putting across your "true" self? Or maybe it's both? Or maybe anonymity enables one to be free of constraints - and therefore free to be one's true self?

I'd bet that if we were all to meet in person, our core "feeling" about each other wouldn't be different. Someone who's kind on-line will be kind in person; someone who's abrupt or insulting would come across the same way. I think you're quite right, Isa: this cuts through the bull**** and right down to who we are.

Although it gets better with age, my tendency to be shy has always bothered me. But here, I can cut right through that and down to what I have to say. It's nice - especially with such great people to talk with!

54. Posted by Cupcake (Travel Guru 8468 posts) 11y

I have been lucky enough to meet quite a few people that I originally met online. It was a mixed bag (as is life;) )
The shortest amount of time between meeting online and in real life was just under a year...the longest was 7 years. As most would suspect...the people I had been talking to the longest were the ones who were closest to what I thought they would be. I meet my very best friend online but she is the one I have not yet met in person. Two ended up being VERY different that what I expected and not in a good way. I guess I have been lucky, most were pretty close to what I expected and I have made some very good friends.

55. Posted by Wocca (Inactive 3745 posts) 11y

If anyone gets to meet Wocca in person, he'll probably be on vacation and wanting to keep his thoughts fairly simple

56. Posted by tway (Travel Guru 7273 posts) 11y

Where beer?
Sun good!
Pass guacamole.

57. Posted by areinstein (Travel Guru 2788 posts) 11y

Quoting Wocca

If anyone gets to meet Wocca in person, he'll probably be on vacation and wanting to keep his thoughts fairly simple

You promise? ;)

58. Posted by samsara_ (Travel Guru 5353 posts) 11y

No deep chats late into the night?

59. Posted by areinstein (Travel Guru 2788 posts) 11y

Quoting Joz

I have been lucky enough to meet quite a few people that I originally met online. It was a mixed bag (as is life;) )
The shortest amount of time between meeting online and in real life was just under a year...the longest was 7 years. As most would suspect...the people I had been talking to the longest were the ones who were closest to what I thought they would be. I meet my very best friend online but she is the one I have not yet met in person. Two ended up being VERY different that what I expected and not in a good way. I guess I have been lucky, most were pretty close to what I expected and I have made some very good friends.

I have yet to meet an online friend. Actually I dont have any except the people here. I think it will be great but may be either pleasantly surprised or just the opposite. Lets not hope for the latter. Pass me some chips tway!

60. Posted by tway (Travel Guru 7273 posts) 11y

All I've got is the guacamole. Day-old guacamole, at that...

Hey, is anyone up for a martini????