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Everyone needs a giggle!

Travel Forums Off Topic Everyone needs a giggle!

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1. Posted by Cupcake (Travel Guru 8468 posts) 11y

A woman walked into the kitchen to find her husband stalking around with a fly swatter.
"What are you doing?" She asked.
"Hunting Flies" He responded.
"Oh. Killing any?" She asked.
"Yep, 3 males, 2 Females," he replied.
Intrigued, she asked. "How can you tell?"

He responded, "3 were on a beer can, 2 were on the phone."

2. Posted by Isadora (Travel Guru 13926 posts) 11y

3. Posted by areinstein (Travel Guru 2788 posts) 11y

LOL

4. Posted by ChIqUiTtA (Respected Member 278 posts) 11y

hahahahahhahaahaha very clever!!;)

5. Posted by banana (Budding Member 33 posts) 11y

LOL

6. Posted by mtlchica (Respected Member 922 posts) 11y

LOL! great joke!

7. Posted by Cupcake (Travel Guru 8468 posts) 11y

Short jokes...

Q:What is the difference between a wife and a girlfriend?
A:About 45 pounds!!

Q:What is the difference between a huband and a boyfriend?
A:About 45 minutes !!

8. Posted by areinstein (Travel Guru 2788 posts) 11y

Quoting Cupcake

Short jokes...

Q:What is the difference between a wife and a girlfriend?
A:About 45 pounds!!

Q:What is the difference between a huband and a boyfriend?
A:About 45 minutes !!

Now, THAT is funny!!!

9. Posted by daveh (Travel Guru 1027 posts) 11y

Why are married men fatter than single men?

A married man comes home from work, sees what is in his bed and goes to the fridge, a single man comes home, sees what is in his fridge and goes to bed.

10. Posted by daveh (Travel Guru 1027 posts) 11y

Has everyone got the monday blues or somethin today? If so, these may (or may not) cheer you up.

Three vampires go into a bar, and the bartender says, "What can I get you?" The first vampire says, "I'd like a pint of blood." The second vampire says, "I too would like a pint of blood." The bartender says to the third vampire, "And what can I get you?" The third vampire replies, "Well, I'm driving so I'll take a pint of plasma." The bartender turns and yells to his helper, "Two bloods and a blood light."

A man in a hot air balloon realised he was lost. He reduced altitude and spotted a woman below. He descended a bit more and shouted, "Excuse me, can you help me? I promised a friend I would meet him an hour ago, but I
don't know where I am."

The woman below replied, "You're in a hot air balloon hovering
approximately 30 feet above the ground. You're between 40 and 41 degrees
north latitude and between 59 and 60 degrees west longitude."

"You must be an engineer," said the balloonist.

"I am," replied the woman, "How did you know?"

"Well," answered the balloonist, "everything you told me is,
technically correct, but I've no idea what to make of your information,
and the fact is I'm still lost. Frankly, you've not been much help at
all. If anything, you've delayed my trip."

The woman below responded, "You must be in Management."

"I am," replied the balloonist, "but how did you know?"

"Well," said the woman, "you don't know where you are or where you're
going. You have risen to where you are due to a large quantity of hot
air. You made a promise, which you've no idea how to keep, and you
expect people beneath you to solve your problems. The fact is you are in
exactly the same position you were in before we met, but now, somehow,
it's my fault."