So, I have been with my boyfriend for nearly 2 years now. Long story short is: I have always dreamt of travelling alone, since i was a little girl, and it is a HUGE dream of mine! So much so that i have left my life, friends family and career in the UK to go on an adventure around the world. My BF who i met a year before i came out here (Australia) is an amazing guy and i love him incredibly has come with me.. But the things i want to do aren't quite the things he wants to do or the things he's in to. He is chilled out, doesn't like to party , obsesses with sport, would rather stay in than go out and do something fun, he's not spontaneous or adventurous. But other than that is the most decent amazing man I've met so far in my 24 years of living.
I know my experience is completely different because he's with me (still had a great time).
My question is, would you give up a person you love to live your dream of travelling alone? Is there anyone out there as passionate as me about travelling and not wasting it by being in a relationship??
Any advice appreciated!
Well why don't you tell him about the things you love and can't part of... I am sure he would understand and would equally participate.
I enjoy traveling but couldn't do much coz my work schedule but thanks to my work schedule I Travel also and I get quality time to spend with my loved ones.
I aint asking you to sacrifice your relationship but asking you to talk about this with your boy friend to work it out...
Wish you both luck...
I always tend to think that when people come on here and ask a question like this, they have already made their mind up, and are looking for little bit of support that they have made the right decision. I think you want to give him up to travel, and if that is what you want to do then go for it. Have you talked to him about this?
And the way you talked about him in your message – particularly the part that said he:
“Doesn't like to party, obsesses with sport, would rather stay in than go out and do something fun, he's not spontaneous or adventurous.”
It seems to me that basically you are saying he is boring! It sounds as if you are both very different and want different things out of life. I find the beauty of travelling to be that everyone you meet is very similar and it is so easy to forge friendships and relationships because you are all doing the same thing and of the same mindset.
Steve, i actually haven't made my mind up and I'm still completely confused about the whole thing. He is what I'd call boring, which is a huge factor in the way I'm thinking. We do want very different things out of life, both short-term and long-term. And you're right, ,the beauty of travelling is that everyone you meet is similar, i totally agree!
I think you should suggest you going off to do some activities and things you enjoy for a few weeks on your own, then meet up with him again afterwards. This will give you both a chance to see if you miss each other, and give you the chance to see if you'll enjoy travelling more without him.
I agree with Steve, deep, deep down it sounds like you've already made you mind up, but your head is pulling you one way and your heart the other. If it's meant to be it'll work itself out.
But while you're all muddled up with this on your mind, you could be out there enjoying yourself and who knows you could meet the man of your dreams..
I think if you have to ask this question, you're not really sure of your relationship. I would suggest going somewhere for a short period of time alone - like a week or two and see for yourself how you feel about it. If after a week all you can think of is going back then go back, and if after that time you find yourself not missing him at all then... well it probably wasn't "it" anyway
I don't understand why you can't keep the relationship if you go travelling on your own? I did this all the time and there's no conflict at all. You go away to do what you want is the same as you go for a business trip for a while and go back home you still have the relationship.
In fact, I believe sustaining the habit of seeing each other 24/7 is very unhealthy. Separate for a while but you still keep in touch by email or skype regularly will actually strengthen the relationship by missing each other very much and it's always exciting to tell him your adventure everyday. When you see each other again, you feel deeper and you treasure and appreciate the time being together much more than before.
Why not compromise with him a comfort zone to set the mutually acceptable time frame for your solo travelling! The excitment will start from there. Win win solution!
However, it also gives you the chance to find another more interesting and suitable guy for yourself and dump him eventually. Perhaps that's also what you are looking for?
Thanks guys. I have decided to do both, keep the relationship and go travelling. It will be hard but worth it!!
That's a great outcome. Good luck!
My advice to anyone is to always follow your heart...
But in the same way, if it is meant to be then when you return from solo travels things between you both will not have changed. Your love and respect for eachother will only have grown in time, and you will be able to get even more out of your relationship with each other. For me, I could not live with the regret I would feel from not stepping out into the world on my own, especially if it is something I have wanted to do!
I also know from experience that not following your heart can have a bad impact on a relationship even if meant in the nicest way possible..
Whatever you end up doing, I hope you enjoy it
[ Edit: Edited on 31-Oct-2013, at 03:10 by chloerose ]