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I want some abuse!!! - extremely silly-

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11. Posted by Rraven (Travel Guru 5924 posts) 11y

''Go and boil your bottom, sons of a silly person. I blow my nose at you, so-called Arthur King, you and all your silly English k-nnnnniggets. ''

12. Posted by Rraven (Travel Guru 5924 posts) 11y

You know, there are many people in the country today who, through no fault of their own, are sane. Some of them were born sane. Some of them became sane later in their lives. It is up to people like you and me who are out of our tiny little minds to try and help these people overcome their sanity. You can start in small ways with ping-pong ball eyes and a funny voice and then you can paint half of your body red and the other half green and then you can jump up and down in a bowl of treacle going "squawk, squawk, squawk..." And then you can go "Neurhhh! Neurhhh!" and then you can roll around on the floor going "pting pting pting"...
- Monty Python: "Show Twenty-One"

13. Posted by Cupcake (Travel Guru 8468 posts) 11y

I swear...this is the last one...;)

"He never chooses an opinion; he just wears whatever happens to be in style."
Leo Tolstoy

"He never said a foolish thing nor never did a wise one."
Earl of Rochester

"He not only overflowed with learning, but stood in the slop."
Sydney Smith

"He thinks by infection, catching an opinion like a cold."
John Ruskin

"He used statistics the way a drunkard uses lampposts - for support, not illumination."
Andrew Lang

"He was born stupid, and greatly increased his birthright."
Samuel Butler

"He was distinguished for ignorance; for he had only one idea and that was wrong."
Benjamin Disraeli

"His golf bag does not contain a full set of irons."
Robin Williams

"His ignorance covers the world like a blanket, and there's scarcely a hole in it anywhere."
Mark Twain

"His ignorance is encyclopedic."
Abba Eban

"His mind is so open - so open that ideas simply pass through it."
F. H. Bradley

"His mind is so open that the wind whistles through it."
Heywood Braun

"I want to reach your mind - where is it currently located?"
Ashleigh Brilliant

"I wish I'd known you when you were alive."
Leonard Louis Levinson

"I would not want to put him in charge of snake control in Ireland."
Eugene McCarthy

"If he ever had a bright idea it would be beginner's luck."
William Lashner "Veritas"

"Little things affect little minds."
Benjamin Disraeli

"Next-day delivery in a nanosecond world."
Van Jacobson

"No more sense of direction than a bunch of firecrackers."
Rob Wagner

"Please try not to be such a wiener-head."
Dave Barry

"Sharp as a sack full of wet mice."
Foghorn Leghorn

"She had a pretty gift for quotation, which is a serviceable substitute for wit."
W. Somerset Maugham

"She is a water bug on the surface of life."
Gloria Steinem

"She's descended from a long line her mother listened to."
Gypsy Rose Lee

"Stay with me; I want to be alone."
Joey Adams

"Teflon brain (nothing sticks.)"
Lily Tomlin

"That young girl is one of the least benightedly unintelligent organic life forms it has been my profound lack of pleasure not to be able to avoid meeting."
Douglas Adams

"They never open their mouths without subtracting from the sum of human knowledge."
Thomas Brackett Reed

"Useless as a pulled tooth."
Mary Roberts Rinehart

"What has a tiny brain, a big mouth, and an opinion nobody cares about? You!"
from "Murphy Brown"

"What's on your mind? If you'll forgive the overstatement."
Fred Allen

"When you go to the mind reader, do you get half price?"
David Letterman

"While he was not dumber than an ox he was not any smarter either."
James Thurber

"You look into his eyes, and you get the feeling someone else is driving."
David Letterman

"You've got the brain of a four-year-old boy, and I bet he was glad to get rid of it."
Groucho Marx

"A gentleman is one who never hurts anyone's feelings unintentionally."
Oscar Wilde

"A great many people now reading and writing would be better employed keeping rabbits."
Edith Sitwell

"A sophisticated rhetorician, inebriated with the exuberance of his own verbosity."
Benjamin Disraeli

"Abstract art? A product of the untalented, sold by the unprincipled to the utterly bewildered."
Al Capp

"An editor should have a pimp for a brother so he'd have someone to look up to."
Gene Fowler

"God made the Idiot for practice, and then He made the School Board."
Mark Twain

"Hanging is too good for a man who makes puns; he should be drawn and quoted."
Fred Allen

"I didn't like the play, but then I saw it under adverse conditions - the curtain was up."
Groucho Marx

"I know of nothing more despicable and pathetic than a man who devotes all of the hours of the waking day to the making of money for money's sake."
John D. Rockefeller

"If all the girls who attended the Harvard-Yale game were laid end to end, I wouldn't be surprised."
Dorothy Parker

"If there's anything disgusting about the movie business, it's the whoredom of my peers."
Sean Penn

"In the United States today, we have more than our share of the nattering nabobs of negativism. They have formed their own 4-H Club - the 'hopeless, hysterical hypochondriacs of history."
Spiro T. Agnew (about the press, 1970)

"Jazz: Music invented for the torture of imbeciles."
Henry VanDyke

"Modesty is the artifice of actors, similar to passion in call girls."
Jackie Gleason

"Nature not content with denying him the ability to think, has endowed him with the ability to write."
A. E. Housman

"Reader, suppose you were an idiot; and suppose you were a member of Congress; but I repeat myself."
Mark Twain

"Thank you for sending me a copy of your book - I'll waste no time reading it."
Moses Hadas

"The fact that a man is a newspaper reporter is evidence of some flaw of character."
Lyndon Johnson

"This is not a book that should be tossed lightly aside. It should be hurled with great force."
Dorothy Parker

"This is one of those big, fat paperbacks, intended to while away a monsoon or two, which, if thrown with a good over arm action, will bring a water buffalo to its knees."
Nancy Banks-Smith (review of M. M. Kaye's "The Far Pavilions")

"Writers are interesting people, but often mean and petty."
Lillian Hellman

"You have all the characteristics of a popular politician: a horrible voice, bad breeding, and a vulgar manner."

"I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury."
Groucho Marx

14. Posted by samsara_ (Travel Guru 5353 posts) 11y


You're pathethic! Why dont you take your lousy trip to Scotland and shove it where Jack stuck the shilling!

Oh and here's a bottle of deodrant - instructions on the back!

How did I do? Did I do good?:)

15. Posted by Pardus (Respected Member 2356 posts) 11y

Quoting Jared

Would u be insulted if there's no insults directed at you?

Peter/Sam - could you please delete Jared's post and bar him from the website. That is just not on!

Joz - Do you have any other hobbies?

Eve - Are you using the deodarant as impromptu flamethrower when you run out of knives or how do you know about it?

Brenda - I need some time, proper abuse can not be hurried....

That's great, I like it... My nipples are exploding with delight...

16. Posted by Isadora (Travel Guru 13926 posts) 11y

Quoting Pardus

Brenda - I need some time, proper abuse can not be hurried....

You're calling Mr. B. Brenda? Oh, he's not going to like that. You're asking for it now... Give him your best shot Mr. B.!

Chicken Chokers Annonymous called - you missed your meeting again!

17. Posted by Cupcake (Travel Guru 8468 posts) 11y

Quoting Pardus

Joz - Do you have any other hobbies?

Only if sleeping counts...;)

18. Posted by newguy (Full Member 197 posts) 11y

Made alot of nuisance calls to the police when u were a kid?

19. Posted by Cupcake (Travel Guru 8468 posts) 11y

Quoting Jared

Made alot of nuisance calls to the police when u were a kid?

Shhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh....(only if you count "Do you have Prince Albert in a can?", "Is your refridgerator running?" "Do you have pickled pigs feet?")

20. Posted by Wocca (Inactive 3745 posts) 11y

Great to see the humorous side of a subject.However ....

No matter who you are, you are likely to have some experience of Domestic Abuse at some stage in your life. You may be in an abusive relationship, wondering whether it is, or simply confused by mixed emotions regarding your partner; you may have escaped and are trying to make sense of what happened; you may know someone who is being abused and want to understand what they are going through; or you may be worried that you are abusive towards the person you love.