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Getting in Limbo

Travel Forums General Talk Getting in Limbo

1. Posted by corneliosunny (Budding Member 5 posts) 2y

Hi guys,

First of all I'd like to apologize if I broke any forum rule making this thread. I came here looking for help. I'll explain my situation now; technically I'm an indonesian born here but since my father was a mexican working in canada I grew up there. But when he passed away during my teens mom had different plans in mind and we left canada in 2007 for good. Ever since I settled in Indonesia by myself forgetting the memories of where I grew up as it made no sense wanting to go back as I have nothing waiting for me there. Recently I paid a visit to my gf in her hometown for Christmas in Germany. Then together we traveled to Italy, Austria and Switzerland for a month. It was beautiful. Now that I'm back I can't seem to focus and I'm having a hard time feeling home again especially because the winter in Europe reminded me a lot of my childhood a place where I grew up. Suddenly Indonesia feels like an alien country. I can't seem to adjust here and actually felt home when I was in Europe. I can't go back to Canada without any strong reason and I can't handle Indonesia as well. I feel like I'm stuck in a limbo without home. I really wanna feel home.. the thing that makes it worse is I live alone in Indonesia and doin a free lance job and currently there's nothing going on, I'm technically spending my time sitting recalling memories. I can't seem to move on.

2. Posted by Andyf (Travel Guru 670 posts) 2y

I think there are two factors to this: where you want to be, and where you're allowed to be (immigration wise).

I'm guessing as an Indonesian you're not able to walk into Europe to live. How about Canada? If you have some right of abode from growing up there maybe that's your only choice for living in the West.

Would that be better than where you are? Would it be enough foundation to build a life on?

Maybe there's no easy answer and whatever you do will be a compromise, or a work in progress.

How serious are you with your girlfriend? Do her wants become a factor?

3. Posted by corneliosunny (Budding Member 5 posts) 2y

Thanks for the prompt reply, As an Indonesian it's hard for me to get in Europe, in Canada I could manage as I have some family left of my dad but the thing is it ain't an easy choice either as we aren't that close.

The only bet i have now is the plannings me and my gf has together, as we have been in a relationship for more than 2 years and are looking forward to settle down 2 - 3 years down the line. So far the planning is I move with her to Europe, marrying her and working my way to work permit.

My problem now is the present, in the future if things work out with my gf it would be great but for now I have to dedicate and work my A** out to gather money so we are able to move as the living standard also would be higher there.

I'm more stressed with insecurities of the present and how am I going to live these 2 - 3 years. by the way my gf is coming to indonesia to move in with me temporarily next month, i hope that helps.

4. Posted by corneliosunny (Budding Member 5 posts) 2y

Also she doesn't wanna settle down in indonesia that's our deal. Sorry extra post

5. Posted by CheersT (Travel Guru 2477 posts) 2y

Good luck.


6. Posted by corneliosunny (Budding Member 5 posts) 2y

Thanks a lot.

7. Posted by Andyf (Travel Guru 670 posts) 2y

On the bright side, it looks like long term you have options. Europe if you get married, or Canada.

Short term maybe it helps a little to know you have options for the future and that you're working towards that future. At least you know where you want to get to - which is ahead of a lot of people. :-)

8. Posted by corneliosunny (Budding Member 5 posts) 2y

Thanks Andy it gives the spirit already :) I didn't see it from that perspective!