'You cant buy your memories'
My family and i now have joined a sect of Mennonites in Western Belize. My life has forsaken the sins of the corrupt capitalist world that rots ever deeper into the vacuous wounds of our ears and eyes and has taken on new meaning where the basic things in life, bread, water and jacket potatoes are now as important as prayer, and self mortification.
Our evenings are no longer being taken over by the demonised media we now use our time productively helping under privileged farmhands learn chemistry and Media studies.
Our simple life gives up pollutants and we turn to the oxon, horse and Chimera to help us in our day to day activities where we as a united family leave our insulated cave and take our cart pulled by our faithful horse Barbara to the local markets and sell our wares, hand made paper mache vases, boil lances and orb cheese.
The cries of our souls as we walk bear footed over brambles are ululations in veneration to the Lord Almighty and my families continual sobbing is music to my ears as they appreciate the lives they now lead in the worship of our Father.
All ye who continue to be led by those in power do so at your own risk all i can do to make you think a little clearer is to listen to the ode i give to thee
\'Life, oh life, oh life, oo oo ooh.
Life, oh life, oh life\'
(Desiree circa 1992)
Daylight is our clock. We have no compass to guide us but the sun in the sky. Electricity is a foreign word, that does not blight our vocabulary, and the Information superhighway goes only one way, away from us via the Earl of Satan\'s estate.
Be brave foolish ones .......be brave.
Those wishing to join us in our everlasting lifestyle should email me on [email protected]
Due to the well documented crash in orb cheese in the commodities market, i have had to give up my joyful life above and so now am living in a Yurt in Central Mongolia with the cast of 70\'s sitcom \'Robin\'s Nest (apart from Richard O\'Sullivan who thought himself above us all and decided to get a role in \'The Bill\' as a narcissistic pimp).
We live together on a quasi-pseudo-quasi work collective living from the fat of the land including our local speciality spread made from the tripe of Oxen, it is so nice i can\'t believe its not butter.
We have no fresh Water near where we are so have to drink fermented Yak urine so heavily sweetened with lemon i cant believe it\'s not bitter.
Due to the lack of water we eat only lungfish which the locals cover in a crispy fat coating, they say it isnt but i can\'t believe it\'s not batter.
I am currently writing this while in agony as i dropped a large tub of margerine on my foot. This happened 3 weeks ago so i can\'t believe it\'s not better.
However this does not stop me going to the local bot (place of worship) with my buddhist brethren. They are so utterly devoted in their worship i am surprised their place of worship is so simple, indeed i can\'t believe it\'s not botter.
Together we preside over the World Forum for the right to carry mathematical implements, as having travelled around the world i have been disgusted at the lack of understanding and specific discrimination against those who choose to carry set square, ruler protractor and compass.
I was denied entry to Angkor Wat temple in Cambodia for carrying my geometry set due to some trumped up charge of \'incitement to cause mathematical answers\' as this would cause a mathematical conflict of interest with the local authorities (total rubbish in my eyes but \'wat\' can you do). By way of negotiation however i did manage to be allowed in with an onion.
Join our fight for the right to carry mathematical implements subscribe to our website www.iluvsetsquaresme.com
Arkun & Leea-Hai (and no its not a pop duet)
I am currently not working having set up a few failed businesses i first started a womens weighlifting club called Ma-might but some people loved it some people hated it.
My home office got burnt down when i set up my database for swimming trunks when i advertised \'i have a speedo file in my house\'
My new business is a freight distribution centre for small packages called Less cargo but some think its a bit snail paced so am now looking for a new backer for my new company called \'cadaver a go-go\' any interested investors are welcomed
please send disparaging comments to my backwards address which is moctodliamgtaeprohtejin, which by pure coincidence is the name of my Ukrainian gerbil (i call him sir william fortesque of rutland manor open to the public 9-5 mon-fri, for short)
Anywhere that i havent been
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