Am I being unrealistic?

Travel Forums General Talk Am I being unrealistic?

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1. Posted by wanderer86 (First Time Poster 1 posts) 7y Star this if you like it!

Hi all,

I'm a 29 year old female, who is really looking for some advice. I really want to go travelling, I wanted to go a few years ago, and nearly did, but at the time I had a boyfriend and a career and my life was quite settled, so I pushed my thoughts of travelling under the carpet. Within the last 2 years, I've lost the boyfriend to someone else, been made redundant from my dream job, lost the flat to the boyfriend and now live with my mum again. Now this was fine for a time, but after 2 years I have got myself into a rut. I had to build myself back up, find any dead end job going and get some money behide me. Now the feelings of traveling never left, but have become so much stronger recently.
My mum, now relays quite heavily on my rent money and even though she doesn't want to stop me travelling, she seems to know what to say to make me feel guilty about going. But I'm feeling more and more restless as time goes on, I spoke to my friends and think I should stop with the 'crazy' traveling talk and get on with life. But what life? Literally every one of my friends have a partner/fiancee/husband and all have children and a mortgage. I have nothing, so maybe I have nothing to lose? They say I should use my savings to get a house not to travel, because when I come back I will be back at square one again living at home, which in some ways worry's me.

I have no one else to talk to about this. So does any one else think I'm being unrealistic? Or even selfish? I'm in the final year of my twenties and don't want to waste the final year.

Thanks in advance for any help.

2. Posted by Katiea723 (Budding Member 37 posts) 7y Star this if you like it!

I'm 28 this year and feel exactly the same way as you do, I have my own business but work on my own 4 days a week and go home (to my mums due to circumstances I moved bk there a year ago) and do nothing every night, I feel my friend all have their own lives with partners/kids/houses etc and I'm wasting mine.
I'm now thinking of going travelling next year when I've saved enough money & selling the business, yes I'm also scared of coming back to nothing but like you say you are at your mums anyway so what's 12months (not a long time in the grand schemes of life) and u never know u might love it out there and want to carry on travelling or working elsewhere.
I've come to realise that life is to short & if you are not happy only you can change this.
Hope this helps & happy to talk if can help

3. Posted by berner256 (Moderator 1542 posts) 7y Star this if you like it!

Follow your heart. Trust yourself. Only you know what's best for you. Over the years I've met lots of people on the road who were facing transitions in their lives, including a man who was given a short time to live by his doctors. We all face choices. His choice was to fulfill a lifelong dream of traveling.

4. Posted by Nic.A7 (Budding Member 29 posts) 7y Star this if you like it!

Hey I'm in a similar(ish) situation. One half of my friends are all currently out travelling and the other half are settling down, getting engaged and having children. I'm doing neither and feel like I'm wasting my time in a dead end job . I've always wanted to travel but could never afford to save due to rent etc but a year ago circumstances pushed me back to my parents house. I've started saving and planning to head to Australia in January. I've never really been an independent person, so the thought of going to the other side of the world alone does terrify me and sometimes I think about doing something else with the savings like putting it towards a house. But I know I wouldn't be content and I know that 10 maybe 20 years down the line I will regret it so much. I read an article recently that asked a bunch of retirees what their biggest regret in life was and the majority all said not travelling enough when they were younger. I feel for your situation regarding your mum, but in life there will always be reasons that could stop you going If you want them too. Would it be possible to push your travelling back by a few months to allow you to save more money and give your mum a lump sum before you go to help tide her over while you're away?

5. Posted by jay1987 (Budding Member 68 posts) 7y Star this if you like it!


I think you should go. I have been in a similar position to you & have decided to go traveling. What you have said is not unreasonable at all and now better time to do it then ever.

You need to ask yourself, do you want to be somebody that says there whole life I wish I had done this when I had the chance. The worst that will happen is it doesn't work out and you return to how things are now. Im sure it will be the best thing you have ever done!

Im heading out to OZ in July to start a new life n have some fun. What I have now feels like an existence rather then living my life to the full.


6. Posted by SpaceCowboy (Budding Member 19 posts) 7y Star this if you like it!

It's difficult when we have been programmed and indoctrinated into a system to believe that this 'something' we should have is money, kids and a death pledge (aka. mortgage).

Life is for living. Carpe diem for tomorrow, may not come. You could find a new man in your life, land a prospective job, and put money down on a house after a few years, but suddenly you find yourself back at square one again. It sounds to me your in the perfect position to travel and follow what your heart says.

Unfortunately as humans we like to plan for a future, and then the biological clock starts kicking in, and before we know it we have followed the herd and ended up the same as the people around you (Some people are content with this lifestyle).

However sounds to me that like myself you have that fire that isn't ready to simmer down. I think it's great you have questioned you life as many don't get to think far outside of the box and get caught up in their own socio economic environment.

I am 25, ended up back at my parents renting. Broke up with my girlfriend and worked a dead end job. I've been saving, and studying in my spare time, and have a one way ticket to Australia next week.

Trying for the same career, mixing with the same people in the same place is like being a stone thrown into the same spot in the vast ocean everyday. Your ripples will fall short and you'll have no way to compare the depth of your own life. Perhaps things don't make sense, but you will never know if you never tried and that will follow you until the end.


7. Posted by AndyF (Moderator 2547 posts) 7y Star this if you like it!

Of itself travelling isn't a solution to life's problems, though it can change your perspective and help you choose your goals and priorities.

We each need to decide what we want to do with our lives - eg raising kids or following a vocation. Often we can't do all these things and must make choices. If travel is one of your important goals then it does seem to me better to get a load of travel out of your system before settling down having kids, and taking on the commitments that go with that like mortgages which need a career to pay.

8. Posted by CheersT (Inactive 2578 posts) 7y Star this if you like it!

Here's my suggestion... buy the cheapest round trip flight you can find to Bangkok and take a month off in Thailand. It's only a month and it won't cost much money.

You'll either come back satiated or you'll be hooked. Either way you'll be in a LOT better state than you are right now.


9. Posted by MorganErikaOE (Budding Member 8 posts) 7y Star this if you like it!

I think you should go for it! You only live once....

Settling down with a partner, getting a mortgage & having kids means you get stuck.

My husband & I are 26, got married the last week and have decided to turn our honeymoon into an OE leaving in 8 weeks and can't wait...we can get a house later but we might never get the chance to see the world again!

Follow your heart not what anyone else says =)

10. Posted by saz86 (Budding Member 3 posts) 7y Star this if you like it!

Thank you all for replying! It means alot! I'm going to go for it! At this moment I feel like there's nothing really here to keep me here. I have no boyfriend, house or kids and that may never come for afew more years so why not travel before it's too late! Thank you again :)