The TP Novel

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41. Posted by MattXIII (Full Member 272 posts) 13y Star this if you like it!

From out of the undergrowth a giant beast of a....hairy....thing~! Came crashing out! Chanting WOCCA WOCCA WOCCA!! FEE FI FO FUM I'M GONNA KICK YOUR IRISH BUM!

42. Posted by Isadora (Travel Guru 13926 posts) 13y Star this if you like it!

( ROFL )

43. Posted by Pardus (Respected Member 2356 posts) 13y Star this if you like it!

Quoting tway

"Feck!" says Pardus.

"Feck" replies Gelli.

"Feck...?" Parsus asks.

"Feck? Feck..." Gelli says, slowly.

That sounds so much like the conversations I had with our science coordinator in Zambia.

[ Edit: Fixed quote ]

44. Posted by samsara_ (Travel Guru 5353 posts) 13y Star this if you like it!

The giant Wocca emerged from the undergrowth holding, not only one but both Isas aloft in mid-air!

"Unhand me you brute!" screamed Isa. "Heeeeeeeeeeeeellllllllpppppppp".

As Phil gazed into space dreamilily lost in a flashbakc to his days in Zambia,, a sudden scream rent the air!


Nikki flew threw the air, sheep under one arm, a subdued MassageUK under the other. She deposited them on the grass beside Phil who seemed bemused by the sudden company.

Wielding her piece of driftwood, Nikki circled the giant Wocca. "Back fiend! " she threatened.

"Confucious, he say, fiend who relents in the face of adversity must die shameful death", retorted the giant, turning on his heel and running away, dangling the screaming Isas high in the air.....

45. Posted by tway (Travel Guru 7273 posts) 13y Star this if you like it!

Side note to Mrs. Isa: and you thought vanilla wafers hurt - try peanut butter and jam on toast! I'm adopting you all - family gatherings will be a hoot!

Back to our story...
... Eve and Phil gasp - the elusive Abominable Wocca! Wearing his signature kick-you-in-the-arse Australian army boot!

"Quick, Phil," Eve whispers. "Your Kenneth Cole!"

Phil looks at her in shock. "Feck! My stiletto? No fecking way!"

"But Phil," Eve whispers back, punctuating her point with a swift nipple twist (on Phil, not herself). "You know what the Abominable Wocca does!"

"Feck no!"

"Feck yes!"

"He feckin' wouldn't!"

"I think he's just feckin' about to!"

And with that, the Abominable Wocca takes a step closer, raises his shiny, black, polished-every-day-look-you-can-see-your-face-in-it boot, and...

46. Posted by tway (Travel Guru 7273 posts) 13y Star this if you like it!

Oh no!!!! Eve, we created a parallel universe!!!!!

47. Posted by Isadora (Travel Guru 13926 posts) 13y Star this if you like it!

Parallel universes.... VERY workable! (Maybe a "When Worlds Collide" kinda direction. Or...)

48. Posted by Isadora (Travel Guru 13926 posts) 13y Star this if you like it!

...and, nothing.... no boot, no arse-kicking, no in-your-face - nothing... Phil turns to Eve. Eve turns to Phil. They suddenly realize that they are still just sitting in that lovely field of magic mushrooms. "Care for another?", asks Eve of Phil. "Feckin' yeah, I would", states Phil as he flashes a smile revealing his beautiful purple teeth once again. Picking the plumpest two 'shrooms she can find, Eve hands one to Phil and proudly proclaims, "CHEERS!" As she tries to stand, the thin stiletto heel of her Kenneth Cole can not withstand any more torture and breaks from the rest of the shoe. "FECK!", cries Eve, "These cost me a month's salary! See if I buy His s**t anymore! When we get home I'm buying nothing but Monolo Blahnik from now on!" Phil, too busy examining his own toes, ignores poor Eve's frustrated rant...

Screams can be heard in the distance... "THIS BRUTE AND ALL HIS RUNNING HAS CAUSED ME TO SPILL MY MARTINI!!" "Calm yourself, My Dear, I have a spare bottle of vodka from the Martini Lounge in my pocket", responds Mr. Isa. "If I can just reach around this hairy bugger's arm, I think I may be able to reach it!" Mrs. Isa squeals with delight at the prospect of anyther cocktail, ignoring the "WOCCA, WOCCA, WOCCA" spewing from the creatures vocal cords. "By chance, have you got any cocktail onions in that pocket also?", askes Mr. Isa. "No Dear, not by chance - by design - and yes, I do. One or two?" replies Mr. Isa. "Three, please!"...

49. Posted by tway (Travel Guru 7273 posts) 13y Star this if you like it!

Suddenly (cause isn't there always a "suddenly"), Mrs. Isa doesn't feel quite so good. It may be the 4 durains she had for lunch, the 6 martinis that were her supper or the 7 olives that Mr. Isa topped her off with. Whatever it was, riding under the Wocca's hairy arm was giving the missus quite a shake.

"I told you I like mine stirred!" says Mrs. Isa to the Mr.

"Well, dear, no sense whinging about that now," Mr. Isa offers back.

"Oh! I don't know how much longer I can contain all these magnificent martinis! Such a waste!"

"Wait! My dear, I've got it! Aim for the boot!"

"The boot?"

"The shinier-than-shiny boot. It's the Wocca's Achiles' heel!"

"Oh, brilliant! Let me just twist around a bit here..."

But before she can toss her vodka-soaked cookies, the Isa's are tossed into a deep, dark cave - where Mrs. Isa lets out a satisfying -


"Well done, dear!" exclaims Mr. Isa.

"Well, that's that then!"

"Yes, but - where are we?"

50. Posted by areinstein (Travel Guru 2788 posts) 13y Star this if you like it!

Tina and Isa, you guys make the best writers...your imaginations are so entertaining!!! And we have Eve to edit...

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